Don't Go Getting All Gay On Jim Palmer

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

This just cracked me up when I saw it live. Not only was it funny to see Kevin Millar get thrown out by 10 feet, but Jim Palmer's comments afterward are priceless...



"If you can't run, and the plays in front of you, you just can't get gay."- Jim Palmer

I'm pretty sure that Palmer just flubbed his words and he wasn't calling Millar gay, but good lord could that be taken out of context. Hilarious.

Amidst Boatloads Of Criticism ESPN Has It's Strongest April Ever


There's no getting around the fact that ESPN is huge and it does in fact do a lot of things well. Even as Al Michaels was calling the people who yell on many shows that ESPN airs "gasbags", I found myself getting ready to punch the channel numbers into my remote. Mike Tirico at one point last night even tried to use the whole "you can change the channel, we're not the only game in town" line. The problem with that line is that it's completely false. They ARE pretty much the only game in town and I think these number prove that. ESPN, ESPN2, and ESPN News all had their best April ever....

ESPN averaged 746,000 homes on a 24-hour basis, up 21 percent from April 2007 (617,000) and the most ever for the month. The network was boosted by larger audiences for the NBA playoffs, Major League Baseball and SportsCenter, as well as the addition of The Masters, which provided cable’s most-watched golf telecast in history.

ESPN2 averaged 255,000 homes, its best ever for April and up nine percent from last year (233,000). The network also set marks in Men 18-49 and 25-54. The live weekday morning lineup – ESPN Radio’s Mike & Mike in the Morning (6 – 10 a.m. ET) and FirstTake (10 a.m. – noon) – continues to grow its audience. That six-hour block averaged 201,000 homes, up 41 percent from April a year ago (143,000)

In April, ESPNEWS averaged a record 62,000 homes, up 11 percent from a year ago (56,000). It was the 24th consecutive month of household growth for ESPNEWS. The network debuted in high definition March 30 with a new set, graphics and music.
A 750K average over a full day is a ridiculous number for a cable channel and especially one that isn't News based (well non-Sports News I mean). I guess if it isn't broke then they won't be doing any fixing anytime soon.

(Via ESPN PR)

Madden Finds A New Marketing Partner In Donruss

Not that Madden 2009 needs anymore hype or marketing behind the release of the game in August, but it apparently has gotten from the trading card company Donruss. The two entities are teaming up to create the first cards for the Top 10 NFL Draft picks and guess where the only way you can get them. By pre-ordering Madden of course!

Texas-based trading card manufacturer Donruss and video game maker EA Sports have joined forces to create the first football cards of the top 10 NFL Draft picks in their pro uniforms.

The computer-generated rookie cards will be included with copies of Madden NFL 09 if pre-ordered on EAstore.com during a promotion that ends on May 9.

While only the top 10 picks -- including Atlanta Falcons QB Matt Ryan and Oakland Raiders RB Darren McFadden -- will have real cards printed, each of the first 31 players drafted had cards virtually printed live online during the draft.
It's an ingenious idea for both companies and another reason why the Madden franchise has one of the best run marketing campaign in Sports.

EA Sports & Donruss team up for Madden NFL 09 promotion (Orlando Sentinel)
Madden 2009 Draft Cards (EA Sports)

A Post That Has Nothing To Do With Mainstream Media Or Buzz Bisinger!

Now that we're slowly past all of that vitrol from last night's foray into internet media and blogs it's time to get back to what blogs to best. Post videos of people getting hurt! Via With Leather comes this video of a girl skateboarding down a street. Do you think she'll make it?!?!


http://view.break.com/495500 - Watch more free videos


Daaaaaaamn! Figured you'd need a nice palate cleanser like that given everything going on in the tubes today.

Skateboarding Is Super Easy (With Leather)

Todd McShay Is Slowly Getting Worse At Predicting Draft Picks


I mentioned before the draft how pointless Mock Drafts are and I think this bit of info from JSF proves that. The heir apparent to ESPN's Draft coverage Todd McShay did worse this year than he did last year. He went from 9.1% correct to 6.7%....seriously.

Out of the first 135 picks, Todd McShay picked nine for an accuracy percentage of 6.67%. In the biggest surprise of the day, McShay actually nailed one in the fourth round - Cody Wallace to the 49ers at pick #107 - no doubt by complete stroke of luck.

Defending champ Mel Kiper picked a whopping eight correct, leaving him at a sterling 5.93% accuracy rate. For all the research Kiper does throughout the year, the last pick he got correct was #22, Felix Jones to the Cowboys. That made him zero for his last 113.

Impressive.
It's even more impressive if you add that draftee Matt Ryan correctly picked the first six picks of the draft. Something that neither Mel or Todd could do. I'm not ragging on them for their horrible mock drafts (it's f'ing hard to predict over 200 picks), but pointing out the stupidity of doing so. Sure Mock Drafts are fun, but there's not a chance in hell you're going to be right.

With that said, let's enjoy Todd's 2009 Mock Draft which came out a day after the 2008 Draft!!!

Update: McShay is already contradicting himself....

An Open Letter To Todd McShay (The Arena)

Mock Draft Results (Joe Sports Fan)
Matt Ryan Correctly Predicts The Top Six (One Droo Hill)
Photo: Via The Sports Hernia

Internet Media Segment (Updated: Now With Less Comcast Reminders)



Update: Sorry for the delay, but here's the rest....

Costas Intro On Internet Media Segment

I know you're all chomping at the bit eagerly awaiting....the Bissinger part, but I had to break them up. Enjoy the intro first and the rest should be up shortly.

Videos Forthcoming

Having some small technical issues this morning, but the videos from HBO last night should be up shortly. Perhaps with a hilarious added bonus, but up none the less. Bear with me.

Update: I really wanted to find something to post to divert your attention, but there's really nothing else to talk about today. I should have everything ready to go in 30 or so. I think. In the meantime please enjoy a picture of my favorite poster ever!

Posted by Awful Announcing- at 10:47 AM 2 Comments Links to this post

First Reactions To Bob Costas' Foray Into Sports Media


So I actually decided to not watch the "event" live so I wouldn't post any rash opinions on the subject. I actually tried watching the whole thing at midnight and take it all in as an unbiased person, and here's what I came up with.....

1. Blogs are evil and not journalistic.
2. Sports Radio is also evil, but somehow accepted (but they still hate blogs somehow)
3. Players feel like they can't live their lives (understandably so, but stop acting like fucking idiots)
4. Mainstream media is scared shitless (a given).
5. People don't like curses in written word.

Other than all of those things listed......we're dealing with a complete disconnect. I'm sure Robert Costas was trying to have a beautiful discourse across the entirety of the program, but certain individuals made that not possible. I'm not going to go all out and bash Buzz Bissinger (I'm sure there will be enough of that in the days to come), but I will ask just one question.....Has there been a time in History when people were so confused about a topic at hand and moreso clueless about an emerging medium? Oh that's right.....Copernicus.

Look I'm not comparing Sports Blogging to discovering that the world wasn't actually flat, but the short-sightedness is close. Everything else is really irrelevant if you ask me. Bissinger reads Deadspin for one day and questions his 40 years writing because Big Daddy Drew wrote the word "cunt" (I'm paraphrasing here) in an article? I think even MSMers can realize that's garbage. How fucking clueless are you? The best piece of writing I've read in the past 10 years was Big Daddy Drew's post at Deadspin on the love of Sports. When he wrote this closing, I almost lost my shit....

Do either of those exceedingly skilled men give off the impression that they give a shit what they look like when they're doing what they're doing? Nope. Otis is singing the way songs should be sung. Gustavo is conducting the way orchestras should be conducted. The way love should be made. The way sports should be played. And the way life should be lived. They have the ability. But, more importantly, they're INTO IT. I have to live like this more often.
Look, I connect with people in two ways. 1) 80s topics and current pop culture.......2) Sports. That guy right there gets me and that is FUCKING BEAUTIFUL. That's a guy I would buy a drink at the bar, let him shit on my favorite teams, get hammered together, want to fight him, buy him a shot, and then hug him on the way out. I don't tell a man like that he's wrong.....I listen intently to a guy like that because I rarely hear shit like that during the wall-to-wall scream fest that is Sports these days (somehow these things are possible with Drew because I've done it...... even with beer!).

I won't for the life of me understand why the most fan driven industry in the World needs to be only tackled by those with Journalism degrees, but I can say aloud fuck you to those who believe that way. You want my stats? Here they are.....

Name: Brian Steven Powell
Occupation: Blogger and Fan
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 215 (unfortunately)
College: James Madison (I actually fucking graduated like every other Sports Blogger)
Degree: Graduate in Sports Management with a minor in Business
Graduated In: 7 Years (not unfortunately)
Fan of (unabashedly): The Orioles, The Wizards, The Redskins, Terps Basketball, Michigan Football
Journalism Achievements: 0
Readers and Commenters: A fuck ton
Credibility: I'm a goddamn fan that deserves answers NOW and someone who believes half of what he hears and none of what he reads. I breathe Sports. I know more about the backup catcher of the Blue Jays (Greg Zaun) than I should ever know and I could tell you (he's 37 and makes over $7 million a year) that his backup Rod Barajas (while in a bit of a hitting slump has a better arm) , should be starting......at the drop of a hat. And that's Baseball....fucking try me in Football.

It wasn't about a month ago that I thought I had to prove myself and "make myself seem credible", but it was tonight that I finally felt justified. I don't make up rumors, post fallacies, or not give people the chance to redeem themselves. On top of that.....I should not be credible in the journalistic world (I haven't earned it), be quoted as gospel, and have a ton of readers who love me "in the business". I'm just an option.

I'm not saying that people in the media should be nixed or completely ignored, but I'm just trying to lead you towards the most trusted and credible ones. I'm the writer, editor, and grand poobah of one of the most popular and honest Sports Blogs in just two short years. I could brag and/or parade out the list of media friends, but they're not who I care about (sorry guys but it's true....I still love you and I'm glad you "get" the site). I care about you the reader, and those who care about honest and intelligent Sports discourse (many of whom include those previously spoken of media members).

This is a full time job for me, and I make a living off of it. I work at this job for upwards of 16 hours a day (name me the last MSMer who stayed up until 2am last night watching the Lakers and Nugs), and while I feel that the previous discussion was necessary at a time like this, I wanted to say one important thing......

I'm a Sports Blogger. I break stories on a weekly basis, I let commenters (including members of the media) refute or agree with my points of view, I provide a place where people can call bullshit on the media........and finally (and most importantly)......

I'm fine with that, and I'm pretty sure Will is too.

(Videos and more to come tomorrow.)

Reminder: Costas Town Hall Meeting Tonight

Tuesday, April 29, 2008


About a month back I passed on the bit of information that Bob Costas was going to hold a live "Town Hall Meeting" and Deadspin's Will Leitch was going to be a guest. Well that special is airing on HBO tonight at 10pm. There's a collection of interesting guests (Wilbon, Mad Dog, Joe Buck, Dan Patrick) and they'll cover everything from Blogging to Athletes and the Media. You can view the whole rundown here, but I wanted to point out an interview that Costas did today with the Orlando Sentinel...

WW: Yes, we're struggling a bit at the newspaper getting used to issues such as this.

BC: Look, everyone has a right to this technology. But if you're just a blogger -- just a get-a-life type -- no one's going to pay much attention to it because it's not going to have much merit. That's not all bloggers, but that's the hypothetical guy who's just posting comments after your column. This was misinterpreted as saying all bloggers are losers. . . . Now, I won't back off. A huge percentage of bloggers adhere to little of no standards and do little or no reporting and engage in personal attacks. But do all? No.

WW: Does the ESPN-zation of sports bother you? For example, does it bother you that ESPN seems to have every columnist on the country on its payroll and that these journalists seem to take a black or white position on every topic?

BC: Well, it's not like I'm losing sleep over it, but I think any reasonable person rolls their eyes to a certain extent about that. It's just not possible for a reasonable person to be that stoked up about 15 different sports topics every day -- to have a passionate black-and white, thumbs up-thumbs-down opinion on every single sports topic. That just defies common sense. And yet if that's the fuel on which this engine runs, then if you want to be on the air you have to come with a "take" on these topics that doesn't allow for much subtlety or shades of gray. So everything is buy-sell, true-false, fact or fiction. But very, very few people I know view many topics that way.

WW: And does that bother you, in terms of the journalism?

BC: It's just entertainment. At its best it's just informed conversation.
Those are just small chunks of a very interesting interview, but I still can't for the life of me get past the fact that neither of them know what they're talking about. I love how it's only bloggers who do "personal attacks" (Jay Mariotti, Skip Bayless) and how commenters=bloggers. I know I've been riled about this topic in the past, but I think it's just a joke at this point. I hope Will portrays this tonight, and I don't know how many times we (bloggers) have to say this, but bloggers aren't replacing a "dying medium". It's just another option in the ever-growing evolution of Sports Media.

It should be a great program tonight, and hopefully this will be the first step towards everyone realizing they need option, but I have a feeling it won't. Someday people will just settle down and give Sports Blogging the same attention that Tech, Entertainment, and Political Blogs (just not today and I'm fine with that).

Update: Thanks to an Anon commenter we now know that Mose Schrute will be attending as well....

Shameless Program Note (FJM)

Costas to explore state of sports media in HBO town hall meeting (Orlando Sentinel)
Rundown of the Next Costas Now on HBO (Fang's Bites)

Texas Radio Hosts Mock KC Royal Alex Gordon's Wife


I can never get enough stories about athletes going after members of the media. Clubhouse rants like Hal McCrae's and Bobby Bonilla's provide years and years of enjoyment. Well there's now news out of Kansas City that we might be able KC Third Baseman Alex Gordon to the list soon. From the KC Star via Ben Maller....

The seemingly harmless interview took a nasty turn when Jamie [Gordon's wife- Ed Note] was asked whether she knew who Yoko Ono was. When she said she did not, someone back in the booth or at the station hit a “drop” button that spewed the words “stupid b....” over the air. The same drop button was hit again moments later after Jamie answered another question.

Then later in the interview, one of the show’s hosts made crude innuendos about Jamie and Ashley, urging his interviewer to “try and get them to kiss."

Royals upper management got wind of the interview and was furious, as was Gordon. Royals vice president of communications Mike Swanson demanded an apology from the station and the hosts.

“Having to play the interview for Alex was not an enviable task,” Swanson said. “Then one of the show’s hosts told me he wouldn’t apologize directly to Alex because that was my job as a liaison. That really got me upset.”
That's pretty weak on the part of Dallas sports-talk station KTCK to not apologize directly, but I guess if you're in the business of being a Sports shock jock, you probably don't apologize often. Also, Alex Gordon is 6'1"/220lbs.....I don't know if I would mess with him.

Royals hope irritating sports talk radio host doesn’t show (KC Star)

Track And Field Is Intense!

There's really no reason for this post at all, but to A) Either gross you out with blood and/or B) Relay a great story I have about running. Just check out the gnarly results this Women's DMR produced at the Penn Relays. From Track & Field News via With Leather and SbB...


That's Stanford runner Alicia Follmar who took a "spike to the head" after a fall at the start of the race. As few of you know I was a runner in College and while I've been hit by a car (twice actually) and tore an ACL in a relay race, this is pretty badass. Not that she got stabbed with a spike, but that she finished the race....3rd!!!

Now for the only story I have that can top that. While running Cross Country my Freshman year in College, I was on a leg of a race that went downhill through a small set of woods at the 5-mile mark of a 6-mile course. A runner was about 20 yards ahead when I noticed something moving really fast in the woods off to the right. Being 5-miles in, my mind couldn't process what was coming until an animal leaped across the trail colliding into the guy directly ahead of me. A deer completely plowed through the guy as he did a complete sideways flip into the forest on the left side.

Perhaps the raddest and scariest thing I've ever seen in Sports. Thank you for obliging me by reading that and go on about your day.

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About ESPN's Kentucky Derby Coverage


This might come as a surprise but I think ESPN's coverage of the Kentucky Derby is one of the best jobs they do all year. Sure they go overboard with coverage at times and it's rather goofy, but we're talking about a horse race where people where funny hats and Nick Lachey is an honored guest.

This year's ESPN coverage is going to be much of the same but there's a bonus for you Derby fans. Mike and Mike! They're going to be doing their radio show with special guest Kenny Mayne from the first turn.

Here's the rest of the schedule....

ESPN’s coverage of the Kentucky Derby will include the Kentucky Derby Draw on Wednesday, April 30, at 5 p.m. ET on ESPN2 and the Kentucky Oaks on Friday, May 2, at 5 p.m. on ESPN2. Hosts Kenny Mayne and Rece Davis, analysts Jerry Bailey, Randy Moss and Jeannine Edwards, handicapper Hank Goldberg and reporters Jay Privman and Steve Cyphers will cover the stories, horses, jockeys, trainers and owners.

Wed., Apr 30

5 p.m.- Kentucky Derby Draw (ESPN2)

Thur., May 1

4:30 p.m.- Triple Crown Special (ESPN2)

Fri., May 2

3 p.m.- Today at Churchill Downs (ESPN2)
5 p.m.- Kentucky Oaks (ESPN2)

Sat., May 3

11 a.m.- Today at the Kentucky Derby (ESPN2)
Noon- Today at the Kentucky Derby (ESPN)
3 p.m.- The Kentucky Derby Special (ESPN)
NBC's coverage starts around 4pm and the weather looks like it's going to be good this year. Grab your funny hat, a mint julep, and make sure to bet your friends. AA is liking Colonel John.

(Via ESPN PR)

Create The Caption #207

(Usually) Everyday I'll throw out a photo from the AP or one of the bigger sites and you provide the caption. Hilarity ensues. I'm also adding a handful of links at the bottom of the page that you should check out each day.

Yesterday's Winners....


"Jimmy Kimmel will do anything for attention (Refer to #87)"- Oh No Romo

"Welcome to the 2008 edition of 'Calvacade of Losers'"- JK

"How in the world did a Jets fan figure out how to spell Gholston?"- Anon

"What?! Jets fans not booing their draft picks?! Somebody start looking for the four horsemen."- pmelchre
_______________________________________

Are you funny enough to create a caption for this photo of Tim Tebow visiting the House of Representatives?


Daily Links:

TSH Got A Mention On SportsCenter! (The Sports Hernia)
Only Cool People Attend The Draft (Joe Sports Fan)
If The Hawks Win Is This The Biggest Upset Ever? (Hell Yes Guy)
The 25th Anniversary Of Lee Elia's Tirade (Fan IQ)
Alex Smith Is Sad (The Play in CA)
Tigers Fans Start Drinking Young (Deuce of Davenport)
Wait, The Rays Are In First? (Rumors and Rants)
Talladega Camermen Are Perverted (Uncoached)
More On Clemens And His "Relationship" (NOIS)
Larry Brown Is Crazy (The Howeva Files)

Worst. Dance. Ever.

Dancing With The Stars is one of the few trashy shows I don't watch, and now I finally have a reason. I give you Jason Taylor dancing to the Monday Night Football theme....



I'm usually amazed by people who can dance well, but that was just about the lamest thing I've ever seen. Did you really have to add the eye black Jason?

Wow This Is Awkward (With Leather)

"They're Hamered. They're Just Clearly Hammered."

Again, the 11pm Sports Center comes with the funny. Robert Flores and Scott Van Pelt were doing the Top 10 and an amazing play by a Quinnipiac outfielder was at number one. As the guy's flips over the fence his friends who were standing in the outfield for some reason run over to help the fielder...hilarity ensues....



Not the funniest thing SVP has ever said but it still made me laugh out loud.

Your List Of Sports Emmy Winners

The Sports Emmys are a random award. In past years awards were e given out to problem children like Joe Morgan and Joe Buck, but every once and awhile an Ernie Johnson lands one. This year is surprisingly different. I don't really have a problem with any of the winners outside of the Fiesta Bowl winning best "Live Sports Special". No FOX Bowl Game should ever win a damn thing if you ask me. It makes me wonder if the voters watched the same game we did.

Anyway, here is the list of the more important awards...

OUTSTANDING LIVE SPORTS SPECIAL: BCS on FOX: Tostitos Fiesta Bowl (FOX)
OUTSTANDING LIVE SPORTS SERIES: NASCAR on FOX
OUTSTANDING EDITED SPORTS SPECIAL: De La Hoya/Mayweather 24/7 (HBO)
OUTSTANDING STUDIO SHOW - WEEKLY: College Gameday (ESPN)
OUTSTANDING STUDIO SHOW - DAILY: Inside the NBA
OUTSTANDING SPORTS JOURNALISM: Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel (HBO)
OUTSTANDING SHORT FEATURE: Sunday NFL Countdown (ESPN)
OUTSTANDING SPORTS PERSONALITY – STUDIO HOST: James Brown (CBS)
OUTSTANDING SPORTS PERSONALITY – PLAY-BY-PLAY: Al Michaels (NBC)
OUTSTANDING SPORTS PERSONALITY – STUDIO ANALYST: Cris Collinsworth (HBO/NBC)
OUTSTANDING SPORTS PERSONALITY – SPORTS EVENT ANALYST: John Madden NBC

Also, Frank Chirkinian, who is known as the "Father of Televised Golf" received a lifetime achievement award. Not a bad job all around if you ask me. HBO led the total tally with eight awards while FOX, ESPN, and CBS followed with five, four, and three respectively.

Posted by Awful Announcing- at 11:21 AM 7 Comments Links to this post

ESPN's Draft Talking Heads Still Arguing About Something

Okay, first let me first say that I normally really like NFL Live. It is one of the last shows that didn't rely on ESPN's tactic of getting a handful of people yelling at each other over nothing. Make that was.

It starts out as a normal debate between Kiper and Hoge and then it just falls apart. Please try to understand one word that these jokers are trying to say throughout these two and a half minutes....



I love how Trey Wingo says he's asking the question with "trepidation". Riiiight. Whether it was or wasn't, the whole thing came across planned which is a running theme for ESPN these days. It's a shame when every program, but one on a network has turned into a "Made For Bayless Segment."

I'm sorry but this is not good TV, and I don't think there are many out there who think that it is.

Keyshawn Has A Message For Ocho Cinco Complete With A Dig At The Bills

Monday, April 28, 2008


Keyshawn is either completely and utterly wrong about things or dead on. Most of the Draft he was wrong, but in an interview with USA Today he is completely right about Chad Johnson....

Keyshawn Johnson had some advice for Chad Johnson, the Cincinnati Bengals wideout who had been been on forcing a trade like out of an unhappy situation like Randy Moss did last year.

The ESPN analyst and former NFL receiver believes the Bengal would be making a mistake if he were to divorce himself from quarterback Carson Palmer.

"I think Chad is going about it the wrong way," the ESPN analyst said. "I told Chad at the Super Bowl, 'Be careful what you wish for. Because when they bounce your butt and you wind up in Buffalo with J.P. Losman as your quarterback, you're going to be screaming.

"I just told him to relax and chill and handle your situation differently."
While his assesment of Chad Johnson's situation is dead on he's a bit off on his Buffalo Bills depth chart. JP Losman isn't the starter for the Bills, Trent Edwards is. I guess the sentence still works but that's certainly not they way he originally meant it.

Now if there was only a way to shut them both up. Hmm???

Keyshawn to Ocho Cinco: 'Careful what you wish for' (USA Today)

Madden 2009 "Through The Years" Trailer

I'm sure a lot of you are like me in that you've been playing Madden since it's inception. Well given the 20th year of the game (doesn't that make you feel old) coming out this August, EA has put together a video of Favre highlights throughout the years....



Pretty intense as far as video game commercials go. I also wonder if Brett Favre is going to just be a Free Agent in the game or if you'll have to unlock him through some complicated skills competition. Let the Madden hype machine commence!

Minor League Hockey Hits Are Badass

This is one of those, what we call "slow news days" in the business (ha...the business of blogging), and when a clip like this comes along I just have to share it (mainly to fill the afternoon).

The person with the puck is Tri-City Americans Center Drew Hoff. The person without the puck is Spokane's Judd Blackwater. The song is "Save Yourself" "Cochise" by Audioslave. The website providing the clip is Greg Wys' Yahoo Hockey Blog. Just wait until the behind the net replay at :40. Enjoy!



Beeeeyah! That was just wicked. There's talk that the hit might have been charging, and Blackwater did leave his feet, but Hoff still had the puck. Good hit if you ask me and very entertaining on a slow afternoon.

Devastating hockey hit of the day, minor league edition (Yahoo)

What Happened To Jim Gray?

There have been a few people over the years that I couldn't stand no matter what (I'm sure you have your own), and near the top of the list is Jim Gray. I always felt that he would unnecessarily attack athletes at the worst times and was a first class dick. Well according to LA Daily News and Sports By Brooks, the ex-sideline reporter has fallen so far out of grace that he's wandering Sporting venues looking for work....

LA Daily News: "So there was Hollywood Walk of Famer Jim Gray, trolling the Staples Center hallways Wednesday night, a painful, vain attempt to try to stay in the TV employment loop when the fact of the matter is no one is interested in hiring the psuedo sideline reporter."

Sports by Brooks: "We’ve also heard from several, well-connected media moles that no one will now hire him (just check out the hacks roaming the sidelines during the NBA playoffs). Gray might well be done in the business."
So what gives? It's not often that someone so entrenched in the Sports Media gets ousted like this. Sure he's probably an a-hole, but so aren't a lot of other people who still have jobs.

What Chokes (LA Daily News)
Now We’re Not Ones To Pile On Jim Gray, Butt … (Sports by Brooks)

Posted by Awful Announcing- at 1:28 PM 15 Comments Links to this post

Create The Caption #206

(Usually) Everyday I'll throw out a photo from the AP or one of the bigger sites and you provide the caption. Hilarity ensues. I'm also adding a handful of links at the bottom of the page that you should check out each day.

Last Thursday's Winners....


"Kenny Smith? Ship his ass out!"- Brave Sir Robin

"Luckily for the car it wasn't Charles out there. That would have made one hell of a dent."- Gregory Louis

"Where Kobe Bryant karaoke-ing "Friends In Low Places" happens."- G-Money

"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA - cameras and lights go off - "Was my fake laugh as good as Michael's?"- Anon
_______________________________________

Are you funny enough to create a caption for this photo of Jets fans at the 2008 NFL Draft?


Daily Links:

A Sketchy Report About Clemens Cheating On His Wife (NY Daily News)
Kerwin Danley Got Knocked The Eff Out! (Bugs and Cranks)
A Great Interview With Agent Leigh Steinberg (Sports Agent Blog)
A Look Into Non-Commercial Sports (Food Court Lunch)
8 Reasons Why Joe Torre Wants Out Of LA (E True Sports)
A Collection Of Useless Jerseys (For The Love of Sports)
Give McFadden A Chance (I'm Writing Sports)
Wiz-Cavs Isn't A Rivalry (Waiting For Next Year)
Best Celebrity Themed Pinball Games (On 205th)
Karl Malone's Illegitimate Son Is Going Pro (Deuce of Davenport)

Kenny Smith Interested In Knicks GM Gig


Last week it was another announcer, Mark Jackson, who was being talked about in regards to the Knicks. This week it's a TNT analyst who's expressing interest in working for the Front Office of the team. Via Newsday....

“It’s a good possibility,” Smith said during TNT’s pregame show before the Detroit-Philadelphia playoff game.

Smith, who also works part-time on the Knicks’ local broadcasts, could be considered a candidate for general manager or assistant general manager, depending on how Walsh reorganizes the front office.

Smith said he had not spoken directly with Walsh. But he expressed a general interest in working for a team.

“If it’s basketball, in terms of coaching or a general manager or owning a team, that’s me,” Smith said. “If it’s sitting here with you numbskulls, it’s me. Basketball is me. I’m from New York, and that is the epitome of a franchise — the Lakers, the Celtics, the Knicks.”
It would be a shame for TNT to lose yet another key player to a Front Office job (Steve Kerr last year), but Kenny Smith is an extremely intelligent person and could be a good fit for the struggling Knicks. Just like Kerr leaving meant more Reggie Miller, a Smith move could mean more Magic Johnson. Ugh.

On a side note, Chris Webber did a pretty damn good job last night. At one point he said that he wouldn't want to play for the Mavs because no one came to Jason Kidd's aid after the hard foul on Janero Pargo. He said, "Outisde of Jerry Stackhouse, no one would have your back." It looks like he attended Charles Barkley's school of honesty and that's always a good move.

TNT’s Smith Has Interest in Knicks (Newsday)

NFL Draft Media Review: ESPN


You know it’s a bad omen for a review when I have no idea where to even start when picking apart a broadcast. ESPN’s Day One coverage of the Draft was probably only slightly behind the 100+ Band view broadcast of last year’s Orange Bowl, as the worst telecast I’ve ever seen. They missed picks, talked over picks and each other, had 40 people trying to chime in, got into fights with each other, and had more commercials on-air than the Draft itself. I was listening to Sporting News Radio late last night and I think their host Matt Spiegel summed it up best by saying, “I was begging for more Mike Tirico.”

Chris Berman is now on the short list of people that should be banned from ever touching the mic again and it’s kind of a shame. We all grew up with the guy but somewhere along the way the schtick overtook any semblance of Sports knowledge he had. He was so lost the entire broadcast that he would have to occasionally pause and rethink his own cheesy nicknames before blurting them out. I’m no Rich Eisen fan, but in this capacity he is head and shoulders above the “has been” Berman. I still think he works well on clip shows and gimmicks like the Homerun Derby, but too many people take the Draft seriously and he’s just a joke at this point. It’s time to phase him out as soon as you can.

As far as the other analysts what can you say? I don’t know when Ron Jaworski got the where with all to argue every single prediction from his partners, but he might possibly be more annoying than Berman. It’s okay to debate the picks and trades but when you’re shouting over top of your “teammates” you just look like a fool. I love his football knowledge and he knows the QB position like no other, but he needs to just settle down and pass along his knowledge calmly. Cris Carter really added nothing and while Mel Kiper’s player knowledge is unprecedented the staged on-air feuds with Todd McShay were unbearable. You need to pick either one or the other and be done with it. The last bad thing I’m going to say about their coverage is that Chris Mortensen should never be on live television. He’s like a deer in headlights out there.

Okay, now that the negatives are out of the way let’s get into what they did well, so they can improve for next year. Trey Wingo should be the host. He leads one of your main NFL shows during the season and offseason and his Football acumen is on par with anyone ESPN has. Adding Kirk Herbstreit on the coverage (presumably for Emmitt Smith) was a good decision and while Michael Smith is a work in progress, he has some promise. Overall the Day Two coverage was actually pretty good and the interview with Caleb Campbell, although somewhat over-the-top, came off as a good addition late in the Draft (even though Jaws almost fell of the stage trying to stand up and shake his hand).

Grades:

Chris Berman: Z-
Trey Wingo: B
Ron Jaworski: C-
Cris Carter: D
Mel Kiper: C+
Chris Mortensen: D
Mike Tirico: B
Kirk Herbstreit: B
Todd McShay: C+
Michael Smith: B-
Producers: F (For deciding it was okay to miss about 10% of the first round)

Overall: D- (only because of Day Two)

You can’t miss live picks, have more commercials than coverage, and have people constantly bickering, and expect to get good reviews. I’m more than positive that there won’t be one major writer in the Country that would give ESPN a passing grade for Day One, and if you see one let me know. Just a horrible, horrible attempt at something they’ve done well in the past.

Video of the Weekend: McShay vs. Kiper (DING!)



NFL Draft Media Review: NFL Network
Weekend Tube Review: NFL Network vs. ESPN (The Sporting Blog)

FOX To Announce Brian Billick As Newest Analyst


I can't for the life of me understand why networks continue to hire the most grumpy ex-coaches and players as analysts, but you can add another one to the list. Via USA Today.....

Fox will formally announce Monday that the ex-Baltimore Ravens coach, who debuted as a national TV analyst on the NFL Network's draft coverage, and didn't embarrass himself, will be a game analyst this season. He'll work both two and three-man booths, says Fox's Dan Bell, but his on-air partners haven't been set.
I just don't know about this decision. I mean Billick wasn't bad during the NFL-Network's coverage of the Draft, but he just doesn't seem like a good fit for TV to me. Hopefully he proves me wrong though.

The only thing I'm trying to figure out is where he will fit in. Will they add him to a top team like Kenny Albert and Daryl Johnston (anything to get rid of Siragusa) or team him up with a Vasgersian or Pitts?

NFL Draft Media Review: NFL Network


There’s no other way to say this than the NFL Network dominated ESPN on Day One of the NFL Draft this past weekend. They scooped ESPN on just about every pick and trade and when ESPN was going to commercial, the NFL-N had every single pick live. Adam Schefter was the star of this Draft, as the predicted pick after pick while ESPN’s talking heads were not even talking about the right position. Mike Mayock is arguably one of the smartest people in all of Football, and came off so much better than the bickering duo of Kiper and McShay. Even the two people I usually can’t stand, Rich Eisen and Charles Davis, added to an already great broadcast.

The NFL Network isn’t ESPN, which is good, but that’s to say they don’t still have flaws on their coverage of the Draft. Sure they are light years better than ESPN, but every so often they’ll do something to make you cringe. The first thing was the layout of their graphics on the screen. Maybe it’s because I’m so used to ESPN’s layout but having the pick revealed on the top of the screen just threw me off. They had a giant bar at the bottom with information on the team picking, but a tiny one at the top. Just didn’t look right. Also, I personally can’t stand Deion Sanders and Marshall Faulk. I think they add nothing to a broadcast and one or both should be sent to the studio or home for good. Steve Mariucci and Brian Billick, while not necessarily bad, seemed kind of useless to me.

Oh, and if I hear that Bravery song they used for their telecast, I’m going to shoot myself.

Grades:

Rich Eisen: B-
Mike Mayock: B+
Steve Mariucci: C-
Charles Davis: B-
Jamie Dukes: C+
Adam Schefter: A+
Deion Sanders: D
Marshall Faulk: D+
Brian Billick: C+

Overall: B-/B

If it wasn’t for the fact that I had to watch both broadcasts for the site, I would have never changed the channel away from NFL-Network on Saturday or Sunday. They need to trim their roster down and it's hard to tell if their telecast is good, or if it just looks good because ESPN's is so bad.

(ESPN's review coming shortly)

Jon Miller Throws To Sports Center But Not Before An F-Bomb Is Dropped

You all know about my f-bomb fetish when it comes to broadcasts and you can add this one to the list. After Joe Morgan calls the Anaheim Angels the California Angels for the 40th time in the night, Jon Miller is throwing it to Sports Center. Everything seems to be going fine until an Angels player decides to drop a pretty clear f-bomb on the telecast (careful of NSFW language)....



"'Bout f**king time though."

Annnnnnd Scene! I love it. Thanks to commenter Mark for the heads up.

Either Mike Krukow Just Horribly Misspoke Or Aaron Rowand Needs To Find A Bathroom Quick

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Many many thanks to Grimey from LOL Jocks for pointing me in the right direction to this hilarious clip during the Reds-Giants game today.

Aaron Rowand got hit by a pitch in the ribs today and he was trying to say the outfielder "took a nasty shot". Well shot was replaced with a curse word and hilarity ensued (Slightly NSFW)....



"It's likely that Aaron Rowand's ribs start to stiffen up a bit. He took a nasty shit, uhhh shot."

How g'damn funny is that? I love how he tries to talk again and just starts laughing. I mean it's understandable, the only time I use the word nasty is when I describe my movements too. Too funny.

Posted by Awful Announcing- at 11:00 PM 8 Comments Links to this post

Angels-Tigers: ESPN Sunday Night Baseball Open Thread


(posted by One More Dying Quail)

As noted earlier, tonight's matchup isn't the best we could have hoped for today, but it should still be solid, with Los Angelos de Los Angeles stepping onto the field against El Tigres de Detroit. (I have never taken a single Spanish class in my life. Can you tell?)

Jon and Joe will be along soon. Prepare ye.


One thing I'll be happy to see tonight: my new favorite Tiger in action.

Los Tigres :-) I'm ready for some Awful Announcing from Joe Morgan! - Jay

Bah, I should've caught that. El Tigres...that's bush league. Perhaps I should stick to English.

"He won't have to be doing any coming from behind, as it were..." - Jon, talking about Chone Figgins batting average...I think.

Miller- "Torii Hunter has seen a lot of Justin Verlander. Maybe too much. He's 3 for 17 lifetime against him." - Pat

I noticed that too. Just because Hunter was in the AL Central for a number of years doesn't mean Verlander was there along with him. They've actually only faced each other in four games.

I don't believe it, he just corrected himself. Even though he's still wrong, since he says they're "ahead of everybody" where they're really tied for first with Baltimore. - matt0028

And the Sox are just percentage points behind! (Five game losing streaks suck.)

This seems like a good place to mention that my wife is mad at me for watching this game, in part because she absolutely cannot stand Jon Miller's voice. My rebuttal is that for as much crap as I at least half-watch with her (American Idol, Dancing With The Stars, America's Next Top Model, every Lifetime movie ever filmed), she can deal with an hour or two of baseball on Sunday night. There's a lesson here, children.

In case you're wondering, that sound you just heard was the remaining readers sighing, saying, "Crap, OMDQ's talking about family stuff again," and logging off.

I've never used this crazy MLB Gameday thing before. I'm giving it a look-see now, to see what I think.

This point Joe is making, about base stealers actually being able to benefit hitters by NOT stealing sometimes (but ensuring that the next hitter sees a good fastball or two) is a good one. It makes a lot of sense. Of course, Pudge Rodriguez guns down Chone Figgins seconds later.

We'll be going up against the current low-lifes of the AL East right now on Tuesday, OMDQ. I want to think that Toronto's a lot better than they're playing right now, but they're not showing it in their last couple of outings. We can do it!Right? (Right, Lester?) - matt0028

If Jon Lester was an American Idol contestant, we'd have to listen to Paula Abdul wax poetic about his heart and how brave he is every week, without ever saying one word about his actual performance. Simon, meanwhile, would tell him that it was not a good outing and the crowd would boo.

Ivan Rodriguez and Mike Napoli, playing a little game of "anything you can do I can do better".

Joe is on his third straight week of "Headfirst Slides vs. Feetfirst Slides: Which Do I Prefer?", a one-man play he created during some spare time between innings during an early April game.

"I'm intrigued, Joe, as to why Granderson hasn't attempted to run so far." - Jon

Possibly, and I'm just spitballing here, it's because he just saw Jacque Jones get cut down by Mike Napoli and doesn't want to risk it.

Or, because he was planning on getting picked off of first.

Okay, here's a question. Gameday shows that Weaver threw two fastballs to Polanco in the last at-bat, clocked at 83.9 and 81.2. He also threw one pitchout, clocked at 78.2. To be as effective as possible, shouldn't a pitchout be as fast as a regular fastball? At what point does a difference like that, 3-5 MPH, become a problem?

Is it wrong that I want Jim Leyland to do every interview with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth and the censor's finger trembling over the red button?

Joe Morgan does not believe that Mike Scioscia gets proper respect as one of the top managers in the game. Apparently winning the American League Manager of the Year Award in 2002 and placing in the top five three other times (including second place last year) is just a slap in the face.

Joe Morgan has completely lost me with this intangibles speech. And I'm pretty sure there is a stat that measures manufactured runs. It's called runs scored. - pat

That was one of those things that when he first said it, I was like, "Yeah, maybe. I can sort of see what he's saying." Then, the longer he talked, the more it hurt my brain to try to listen. Just say that there are certain things that guys do to help the team that don't show up in the box score, that can't be measured by stats, and have a few examples ready IF Jon says, "Like what, Joe?" That's all I ask. Three minute soliloquies are not needed.

Lebron James Trusts Delonte, Can Someone Say Dagger?

I'll save you all the bitching about the Wizards, but I knew that weren't winning this game with West and Gibson hitting threes the way they were. Great game for them and here's the shot that knocked the Wizards out of the Playoffs....



Exactly the same shot that Damon Jones hit against the Wizards in 2005-2006 in overtime to win the Series. Also, Cleveland hit 13 of 28 threes and overrated Lebron James finished with 34 points, 12 Rebounds, 7 Assists and 2 steals. Dagger.

Big Names Still Being Taken On Day Two Of The NFL Draft


(posted by One More Dying Quail)

Earlier today, AA ran down some of the big names left on the board through the first two rounds. Here are some of the better known players that ended up being drafted, where they went, and when:

Third Round
Kevin Smith, UCF: Detroit Lions, 64th overall
Jacob Hester, LSU: San Diego Chargers, 69th overall
Dan Connor, Penn State: Carolina Panthers, 74th overall
Early Doucet, LSU: Arizona Cardinals, 81st overall
Steve Slaton, West Virginia: Houston Texans, 89th overall

Fourth Round
Tashard Choice, Georgia Tech: Dallas Cowboys, 122nd overall

Fifth Round
John David Booty, USC: Minnesota Vikings, 137th overall
Dennis Dixon, Oregon: Pittsburgh Steelers, 156th overall
Erik Ainge, Tennessee: New York Jets, 162nd overall
Owen Schmitt, West Virginia: Seattle Seahawks, 163rd overall

Sixth Round
Geno Hayes, Florida State: Tampa Bay Buccaneers, 175th overall

They're about halfway through the sixth round right now (Denver is on the clock at 183), and unless I'm missing somebody, it appears that Erin Henderson, Andre Woodson, Mike Hart and Colt Brennan are still left from the list that AA threw out there earlier.

UPDATE: Brennan is off the board, to Washington with the 186th overall pick. I'm anxious to hear what AA has to say about this. AA says, "please tell me this didn't just happen."


It's not the worst move they could have made since Todd Collins is 45 years old and they don't really have any other backups. With that said.....Colt "F'ing" Brennan?!?!?! They realize they had the worst D-Line in the league right?!?! Ugh.

[/rant]

UPDATE: And there goes Woodson, to the Giants at 198.

UPDATE: And minutes later, Hart goes to Indy at 202, just catching the end of the sixth round.

Posted by One More Dying Quail at 3:31 PM 8 Comments Links to this post

The Wizards-Cavs Series Is Going To End Badly

And I'm not talking about either team winning when I say that. The big "story" today regarding the ongoing feud between the Wizards-Cavs and Stevenson-Lebron is that Jay-Z recorded a song about Stevenson. The track was played at Love (a club in DC) and was intro'd by none other than Damon Jones who also had some choice words about Stevenson.

My first reaction was, what the hell are all these players doing at a club the night before a big game before a big Game 4? My second was who the hell cares? I think that second question was answered in the 2nd quarter of the game today......



Obviously you know I'm a Wizards fan, but I'm just sick of all this crap. Not only is hitting someone in the head like that a weak move, it's just pissing Lebron off. He goes quietly through a game and takes himself out of the offense. He doesn't try to get in the lane and your team goes up 7 or 8 points. It never fails. It happened in today's game and happened all throughout the Finals against the Spurs last year.

The Wizards are the only team that decides to piss him off and he goes ballistic. Immediately following that foul he hit a huge three, got fouled on another, and then threw down a ridiculous alley-oop.

The Wizards were down ten at the half, and as Stu Scott said at the half, Lebron James is like the Hulk. You won't like him when he's angry.

Someday, I'll Have A Draft And Choose Nothing But Quarterbacks

(posted by One More Dying Quail)

I'm following today's draft action over the Internet at Rivals.com, and about ten minutes ago I thought I thought the Green Bay Packers had made without a doubt the greatest selection of the day.

For about three minutes, Rivals had USC's John David Booty listed as the Packers' first pick of the fifth round, which would have been amazing because it would have meant that they took TWO quarterbacks in the first five rounds. Aaron Rodgers, we believe in you.

Unfortunately, it wasn't meant to be. The Packers limited Rodgers' competition to Louisville's Brian Brohm, their second round pick. Much a pity.

UPDATE: As noted by anonymous in the comments, "This just happened." The Packers took LSU quarterback Matt Flynn with the second pick of the seventh round. Unbelievable.

Posted by One More Dying Quail at 1:54 PM 2 Comments Links to this post

Can We Get A Schedule Change, Maybe?

(posted by One More Dying Quail)

Tonight's ESPN Sunday Night Baseball game calls for Jered Weaver and the Los Angeles Angels to travel to Detroit for a constest against Justin Verlander and the Tigers. That's a nice little matchup, but as Baseball Musings' David Pinto points out, there is a much, much better duel on tap for this afternoon:

Sometimes there's one matchup so outstanding, it just jumps to the top of games to watch. That game takes place in San Diego where Brandon Webb faces Jake Peavy. Consider:

  • Both pitchers are undefeated.
  • Both have ERAs in the low twos.
  • There [sic] in the best pitchers park in the majors.
If this was the ESPN game, the product on the field might almost be good enough to help us ignore the silliness emanating from the booth.

Posted by One More Dying Quail at 12:59 PM 6 Comments Links to this post

NFL Draft Day 2: Info & Plot Lines


We're part of the way though Day 2 of the draft, so I'm a little late on this post, but I noticed some of you were commenting on the goings on so we'll add a spot for those. There are tons of notable players left in the draft (if I'm missing any let me know) and I've put together a small list to discuss along with the coverage details for ESPN and NFL-N.

Players available:

John David Booty (QB-USC), Erin Henderson (LB-MD), Andre Woodson (QB-KENT), Erik Ainge (QB-TENN), Steve Slaton (RB-WVU), Mike Hart (RB-MICH), Colt Brennan (QB-HAW), Owen Schmitt (FB-WVU), Geno Hayes (OLB-FSU), Dennis Dixon (QB-ORE)

ESPN – Day 2:

* Radio City Music Hall: Trey Wingo, Mel Kiper, Cris Carter, Ron Jaworski and Chris Mortensen
* Bristol: Tony Reali, Jeffri Chadiha, Smith, Charean Williams and Steve Wyche

NFL-N - Day 2:

* Radio City Music Hall: Rich Eisen, Mike Mayock, Charles Davis, and Jamie Dukes
* Studio: Michael Lombardi, Charley Casserly, and two randoms who I don't know names for.

The NFL-Network seems to be talking about every pick still while ESPN is going through previous picks and going back to talk about the last five picks or so every few minutes. Either is a good option today because of one simple reason.

No Chris Berman. Speaking of which.....does anyone have video of Berman talking about the deux, deux, duex's after mentioning Buffalo's game in Canada next year? Via Fanhouse....

"If anybody gets hurt, they can always take deux deux deuxs ... and you'd know that if you've watched YouTube the last couple months"
Yep. Just keep joking about smuggling drugs.

Posted by Awful Announcing- at 12:00 PM 7 Comments Links to this post

ESPN Misses The Steelers Pick

Saturday, April 26, 2008

This happened so many times during the first round that I just got into the habit of changing to the NFL Network every time that ESPN went to commercial. Here's the Mendenhall pick as an example....



After all of the talking and commercials ESPN probably missed at least 10% of the first round announcements. You could see on the left that the pick was in and they would just head to commercial. That's just uncalled for and utterly ridiculous.

The 2008 NFL Draft Open Thread


Alright folks, the time is upon us. ESPN's clock (that started with a day and half left) is down to under an hour. I'll be here likely through the first round (before passing out on red bull and vodkas while visions of Mel Kiper dance in my head) with photos, videos, and quote. I hope you can join in.

"The intangibles are off the chart."- Kirk Herbstreit on Matt Ryan

I thought intangibles are those things that can't be measured....now there's a chart for them?

Here's a quick update on the new timing and schedule for the draft in case you forgot or were not aware.....

» Only Rounds 1 and 2 will take place on Saturday. Previously, the first three rounds of the draft were conducted on Saturday.
» The draft will start at 3 p.m. ET on Saturday, three hours later than the previous start time.
» The time allocated for each pick in Round 1 will be 10 minutes. Previously, the first round time was 15 minutes.
» The time allocated for each pick in Round 2 will be seven minutes. Previously, it was 10 minutes.
» Round 3 will be moved to Sunday and remain at five minutes per selection. (Rounds 4-7 will also remain at five minutes per pick.)
» Sunday, the draft starts at 10 a.m. ET, rather than 11 a.m. ET.

10 minutes per pick is a godsend, but I still wished they had started at noon. Oooh lookie there. You can have your ESPN comment featured on the broadcast. Who's going to try first?

Did Chris Berman really just wish Sal Pal a "happy draft"?!?! Come on. Also, ESPN....how the hell was Brandon Lloyd a "Key Loss"?! He had two receptions last year.

On NFL-N: Deion Sanders is "warming up the crowd" by interviewing the top draft prospects from the podium. This is an official "Unintentional Humor Alert". (Via Mal)

Damn I missed it. Wow Matt Ryan is about 4 feet taller than Suzy Kolber.

Wow, Keyshawn. Pink polka dot tie, black/white checkered shirt, grey pinstriped suit. We have our first "reach" of the draft. (Via Jay)

Seriously. I'll have a photo up soon. We're underway people....THE DOLPHINS ARE ON THE CLOCK!

1. Miami Dolphins

Jake Long
6'7" 355lbs
Michigan- OT


Annnnd the Rams are on the clock. They didn't waste any time with that first pick did they?

Oh Jesus... Berman just called LSU " The Bayou Bengals " TIGERS!! THEY ARE THE LSU TIGERS!! I'm already pissed off.. (Via Marc)

Hahahaha. Drink! ESPN already went to commercial within the first two minutes of the draft. It's going to be a long day people.

"Bill Parcells is trying to build a 53 man roster."- Chris Mortensen (Via SS Reporters)

Oh really? Aren't all teams???

2. St. Louis Rams

Chris Long
6'3" 278lbs
Virginia- DE


Oooh our first shot of the non-blinking Rachel Nichols. Such a temptress. Steve Young needs to slow down and take a breath.

Rachel Nichols' mouth looks like a snake's. Kinda freaky. (Via Jay)

3. Atlanta Falcons

Matt Ryan
6'5" 224lbs
Boston College- QB


I might be the only person who thinks Ryan is going to be a bust. Straight ballin'.....


So what is Al Davis going to do? I say he picks Chad Henne. This draft is going fast as hell.....I love it.

"Just an aside, but has anyone caught Jake Long's girlfriend? Damn, she's hot. Well done, Jake. A hot chick plus a guaranteed $30 million in the bank." (Via Anon)

Damn I missed her. I need a photo.

4. Oakland Raiders

Darren McFadden
6'2" 210lbs
Arkansas- RB

The Chiefs are on the clock, and I can't wait for Herm Edwards to try to somehow find his way on television for the four millionth time. And wow....Anon wasn't lying. Jake Long's girlfriend is fine!

Second From The Left

And wow, do you see Dorsey's watch?

5. Kansas City Chiefs

Glenn Dorsey
6'1" 313lbs
LSU- DT


Can someone please tell Chris Mortensen to stop talking over the f'ing picks!!!!

Wow.. ESPN just missed a pick. THE 5TH Pick... Terrible. (Via Marc)

Oh here it comes!!!! THE JETS ARE ON THE CLOCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please take Branden Albert!


6. New York Jets

Vernon Gholston
6'3" 260lbs
Ohio State- DE


"They were picking right above New England and New England coveted this linebacker as well. You've got your first cat and mouse game."- Keyshawn Johnson

Okay Key...first of all he's a defensive end. Second...cat and mouse??? Just shut up. Also, could you possibly give us more commercials ESPN?

Michael Smith is saying Rodgers-Cromartie, but I'm thinking Sed Ellis. And we have our first trade! The Saints are on the clock!!! They're definitely taking Ellis.

7. New Orleans Saints (From NE)

Sedrick Ellis
6'1" 307lbs
USC- DT


Great great pick. Even with the trade. And now Jacksonville has traded with the Ravens for pick eight. It's getting interesting! That's a hell of a move for the Jags from 26.

Pats get: 1st (10) and a third round pick
Saints get: 1st (7) and a fifth round pick

I'm pretty sure Chris Berman just called Joe Flacco, Joe Socco.

8. Jacksonville Jaguars (From Baltimore)

Derrick Harvey
6'4" 260lbs
Florida- DE


I really wish ESPN would stop ruining the picks by showing the kids getting phone calls.

Jacksonville gets: 1st (8)
Baltimore gets: 1st (26), 3rd, 3rd, and 4th

Wow! Great trade for the Ravens.

9. Cincinnati Bengals

Keith Rivers
6'3" 237lbs
USC- LB

I love how NFL Network is advertising its draft coverage on ESPN during the WWL's draft coverage. (Via Mal)

I noticed that as well. Good move by the NFL-N. Brian Billick looks pissed as hell that he's at this draft.

10. New England Patriots

Jerod Mayo
6'2" 235lbs
Tennessee- LB


Why does it always seem like the Patriots know something the rest of the league doesn't?

"Tom Brady makes magic for me."- Charles Davis

Gross.

11. Buffalo Bills

Leodis McKelvin
5'10" 186lbs
Troy- CB

Jared "Hold the" Mayo -- DRINK! (Via Jay)

Ugh. We should have drank for every commercial on ESPN. Unbelievable.

"Do you know what Pats opponents will get 15 years for next year? Holding the Mayo."- Chris Berman (Via Mal)

Hahahahaha. Since when is holding 15 yards??!!

12. Denver Broncos

Ryan Clady
6'6" 309lbs
Boise State- OT


Do you think everyone else at ESPN just rolls their eyes and laughs at Berman behind his back? (Via Bruce)

Yes...yes I do. Same with Emmitt.

13. Carolina Panthers

Jonathan Stewart
5'11" 230lbs
Oregon- RB


That's a small stretch right there, but if his toe is okay he'll be a good combo back. NFL-Network is interview Bill Belichick right now and he's actually wearing a suit and tie! Amazing.

He looks like Shooter (Dennis Hopper's character) from Hoosiers when he was asst coach. (Via Mal)

Hahahahaha.


"Rex Grossman is a late bloomer, I mean a REALLY late bloomer."- Steve Young

14. Chicago Bears

Chris Williams
6'6" 315lbs
Vanderbilt- OT


"I think Running Back makes the pick for the Lions here."- Keyshawn Johnson

Huh? Another trade. KC trades with Detroit for pick 15.

15. Kansas City Chiefs (From Detroit)

Branden Albert
6'6" 309lbs
Virginia- OT

Dorsey and Albert are great great picks.

Chiefs get: 1st (15)
Lions get: 1st (17), 3rd, 5th

Just flipped to NFL Network and got the details on that trade right away. ESPN is about 5 minutes behind on everything today. The NFL-N is killing them.

Adam Schefter says the Cardinals are picking between Rodgers-Cromartie and Mendenhall. That kid is scooping everything today.

16. Arizona Cardinals

Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie
6'1" 180lbs
Tennessee State- CB


Deion just lost his shit when Goodell announced that pick. I also can't believe that Detroit is actually being extremely smart today. They were probably going to pick between DRC and Mendenhall anyway and they get more picks out of it.

Annnnnnnd ESPN just missed an entire pick because they were on commercial.

17. Detroit Lions

Gosder Cherilus
6'6" 313lbs
Boston College- OT


Baltimore has just traded with the Texans and they're on the clock. They must be getting antsy about that QB. And they look to be taking Joe Flacco.

18. Baltimore Ravens (From Houston)

Joe Flacco
6'6" 236lbs
Delaware- QB


Has Chris Mortensen ever worked on TV before? Today he's constantly stuttering whenever someone says something in his earpiece, and he's been talking during almost every transition back to Berman from commercial/studio/reporters. (Via Jay)

He's so bad it's unbelievable. If Keyshawn is better than you, you have a problem. Wow. Mort and Herbie just went at each other about the QB's in the NFL.



Adam Schein and crew are going nuts over this Flacco pick. They dont get why Bal traded up to get him when the next 6 teams who are drafting dont need a QB. (Via Marc)

Yeah I have no idea why they did it either. Another trade....Eagles and Panthers flip flop.

19. Carolina Panthers (From Philly)

Jeff Otah
6'6" 341lbs
Pittsburgh- OT


And great job by Keyshawn talking over the Commissioner's speech with military members on stage. They are horrible today. They should really just let Tirico, Jaws, and Herbstreit do the draft and send the rest home.

Eagles get: 2nd Round, 4th Round, 2009 1st Round
Panthers get: 1st Round (19)

20. Tampa Bay Bucs

Aqib Talib
6'0" 202lbs
Kansas- CB


Good pick....character issues or not. Okay here's where the Redskins shock the world and take someone completely random.

"Vinny Cerrato great at evaluating talent."- Mel Kiper

Has Mel even seen the draft picks that the Skins have made?!?!?! What the hell is he talking about? YES! A trade. Skins give their spot to Atlanta.

21. Atlanta Falcons (From Washington)

Sam Baker
6'4" 309lbs
USC- OT


That was a horrible horrible trade for Atlanta.

Hey AA? Would you have to drink the entire bottle if Berman makes a reference to The Killers when Brandon Flowers gets drafted? (Via Andrew)

Yes....definitely.

22. Dallas Cowboys

Felix Jones
5'10" 207lbs
Arkansas- RB


Great pick by the 'Boys. They draft so damn well every year. And ESPN ruins yet another pick by showing Rashard Mendenhall and friends. He's going to the Steelers.

23. Pittsburgh Steelers

Rashard Mendenhall
5'10" 215lbs
Illinois- RB


And ESPN misses ANOTHER live pick! Good lord. I can't take this anymore.

24. Tennessee Titans

Chris Johnson
5'11" 197lbs
East Carolina- RB

Wow. Just wow. That was a horrible pick for them right there.

Chris Johnson looks like the lead singer from Sexual Chocolate. (Via Mal)

Sexual Chocolate!!!

Not only is ESPN's "A-Team" sucking balls, but Kiper and Boomer have been arguing and trading glares all afternoon. I bet mel uses his beak to peck Berman to death after he lets out Malcolm "Regis &" Kelly. (Via Jim)

Yet another trade. Dallas moves up and takes Seattle's spot.

25. Dallas Cowboys (From Seattle)

Michael Jenkins
5'11" 200lbs
South Florida- CB


Again! Dallas with another great pick.

The Lions are being smart? Gosder Cherilus is not worthy of a mid-1st round pick, in my opinion. Of course the Lion's O-line is terrible, but Philip Merling would have been a smarter selection. Either that or trade down again. Cherilus gets beat by some more athletic D-lineman and has a tendency to lose his cool. (Via Eric)

Well they were being smart until they made the pick. Schefter is saying Dwayne Brown is going to be picked as a sleeper here.

26. Houston Texans

Duane Brown
6'4" 315lbs
Virginia Tech- OT

He's such a sleeper, I don't even have a picture of him. And great job by Adam Schefter....again.

Congratulations, Texans fans. The World Wide Leader in Sports announces your first round pick on a bottom of screen scroll because they had too many commercials and had to run a SC Right Now. Nice. (Via Mal)

This is just getting out of control. I'm glad the first round is ending so I can switch to NFL-N permanently. That's a good four picks they've missed and another three that they've talked over.

27. San Diego Chargers

Antoine Cason
6'0" 191lbs
Arizona- CB


And that'll end your run on corners.

28. Seattle Seahawks

Lawrence Jackson
6'4" 271lbs
USC- DE


Ummmmmmm.......who???? Phillip Merling was still available and they needed a Tight End. Horrible pick.

29. San Francisco 49ers

Kentwan Balmer
6'4" 308lbs
UNC- DT


Good pick right there. And with that pick it might be possible that no Wide Receivers are going to be taken in the first round. I don't think that's ever happened. Another trade as the Jets just moved into GB's spot.

Outside of the first ten picks, ESPNs team has called - I think - only two picks correctly: Flacco and F. Jones. Glad these smart guys are here to sort this out for us. (Via Mal)

30. New York Jets (from GB)

Dustin Keller
6'2" 251lbs
Purdue- TE


Schefter does it again! While ESPN was saying WR and Corner he predicted Keller. Jets fans of course boo the pick, but it's a good one.

30. New York Giants

Kenny Phillips
6'2" 212lbs
Miami- S

Another great pick for the Giants and the NFC East is reloading again. That's the end of the first round and the end of my day, but keep commenting as much as you want. I'll be adding videos and will tackle the media winners and losers in the next day or two. I think we all know which network came out the loser though. Terrible, terrible coverage.