Saturday, November 01, 2008
Our favorite TV doctor (Lou Holtz) is still in the lead as we enter Week 10, with the feature's matron saint in 2nd, and last year's defending champ Gary Danielson in third place. Expect Gary to make another run this week at the World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party (and double points to either him or Verne if they call it that on camera.)
Your College Football Announcing Schedule For Week 10
Let's hop to it.
"Mike Kafka trying to metamorphosize, finds Ebert for the touchdown." - Rece Davis
Hooray, literary jokes.
" The polar bear woke up the caveman." - Doc Walker, after your basic 5 yd run up the middle by UVA (via JG)
"He has to get in that hole and fill that thing." - Ray Bentley (via Fairplay)
"Here Kirk, this should remind you even more of your days at Ohio State." -- Bob Knight tossing a sweater to Herbstreit on Gameday (via Rob in WI)
"He and Todd Reesing watch film together all week, so they're on the same page. But some things you're born with, and those flypaper fingers, he was born with." - Dave Lapham, on KU wideout/back-up QB Kerry Meier
My allergies are affecting my X-ray vision; its hard to see." - Doc Walker on a review of whether the U scored a TD (via JG)
"The ball is nearly intercepted... [Pause] It's hard to tell if a defender got a hand on that."
- Dave Pasch (via Bazooka Jones)
"I don't care what happens the rest of this drive, that was an enormous first down." - Drew Goodman, as K-State gets a first down at their own 18 -- neglecting that it's still crappy field position.
"When you're a boxer and working the body, the lumberjack swings the ax." - Doc Walker (via JG, who notes that UVA scored while he was saying this.)
"He is his name. His running is sharp, his catching is sharp, everything about him is sharp." - Dave Lapham on KU RB Jake Sharp after he scores his second TD of the game.
"This guy is like a laptop on the field. He keeps everybody together." - Doc Walker on the U's middle linebacker (via JG)
"Each team in this game can use the film as an audition for Dancing With the Stars: one, two three, kick; one, two, three, kick." - Rece Davis on Auburn-Ole Miss
"And we've shown all the highlights from this game." - Lou Holtz, over the 0-0 scoreboard.
Not like many of the games have been highlight reels early, though.
"UVA is trying to slit their throats here." - Doc Walker (via JG)
"We're celebrating the anniversary of the first college game. Nearly 100 spectators including Doc and I saw it." - Mike Hogewood (via JG)
"Nice catch and now they're in field goal range." - Steve Martin, with Miami actually behind by 7 points (via Ted)
"Alright, now...what does Miami do? They're lining up for a field goal." - Steve Martin, after Miami's TD with 0:55 left brought them to within one at 17-16 (via Anon)
OK, so we've finally made it to the 3:30 slate, thankfully. The best football so far today, outside of that Northwestern pick-six, was on the Fox Soccer Channel between Liverpool and Tottenham. (Stupid Carragher own goal. The Reds suck out defeat from the jaws of victory once again. How is Liverpool leading the Prem?) Sorry. I digress. Back to American football.
"He stripped that like he was starting a lawnmower." - Mike Hogewood after the ball is knocked out of the UVA QB's hands (via JG)
"They've gotta spike the ball here." - Pam Ward, who thinks spiking the ball on 4th down is a good idea (via SSReporters)
Wisconsin gets what they deserve for trying to ice the kicker on a may-day FG try.
"This is like the movie 'Trading Places.'"- Todd Harris, talking about the Cal QB being from Oregon and the Oregon QB being from SF. (via 49er16)
"When you're wired, you play with your hair on fire." - Gary Danielson (via JG)
"Tebow did not missed practice." - Gary Danielson channeling his inner Emmitt Smith (via SSReporters)
"I need a home makeover."- David Norrie, while the crew is pimping ABC's Extreme Home Makeover (via 49er16)
"The defensive lineman's face to the helmet knocked off the Florida player's helmet." - Verne Lundquist on a helmet-to-helmet contact (via Bazooka Jones)
"He referred to problems as "noise in the system.' There is noise in the system at Auburn. No mulligans. There is noise in the system at Tennessee" - Verne Lundquist
Why I like Uncle Verne: he comes up with the most obscure sayings for things sometimes.
"They're also checking out Stafford's funny bone. He can't feel it. He's got a cut on his elbow and he told me he can't throw the ball. You see him trying to throw it and it's just popping out. It's kind of funny, but no one laughing's over here!" - Tracy Wolfson
"He did 188 push-ups every day, one for every yard Moreno gained against them. I couldn't play there, I can't do 10." - Gary Danielson
"I'm behind you in that line" - Verne Lundquist (via JG)
"He is a bell cow."- David Norrie, talking about Cal center Alex Mack (via 49er16)
Terry Gannon and David Norrie put me to sleep. Seriously.
"Let me state the obvious, but this (replay review) is taking a while." - Verne Lundquist (via BSPN)
"That looked like a Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka suplex right there. A belly-to-back suplex right there." - Chris Spielman after an Iowa player tackled an Illinois one by the waist (via Anon)
"Some guys handle wet balls better than others." - David Norrie
(Insert Beavis and Butt-head chuckle here.)
"Even with the Wolf, Tracy Wolfson, stalking her prey, trying to get the halftime adjustments, Urban Meyer wouldn't give her a word." - Gary Danielson
Burning the ground, I break from the crowd, I'm on the hunt, I'm after you
I smell like I sound. I'm lost and I'm found, and I'm hungry like the wolf.....
Sorry. Couldn't help myself.
"Ive been told to lay off the crowd shots for a while." - Gary Danielson (via JG)
"Fearless. Totally fearless. The gunslinger. If you don't get to the Gunslinger, he's gonna fire all over you." - Gary Danielson, turning Matthew Stafford into the next Brett Favre -- and he threw a pick two plays afterward that Florida got a score from.
"Samuels may only be 17, but he just aged his coach decades with that play." - Gary Danielson, after the UGA kick returner bumbled the kickoff and tried to come out of the end zone before another player told him to take a knee.
"That's the first time I've seen a 17-year-old have a senior moment." - Verne Lundquist
"Nobody else in the nation runs this offense." Paul Maguire on GA Tech's offense, via JG, who reminds us that Johnson ran the flexbone at Navy and his successor there, Ken Niumatalolo, still runs it.
"Joe the defensive back becomes Joe the runner." - Matt Winer, updating UGA / FL during FSU / GA Tech on the interception that setup the Gators third TD (via JG)
"There is 4 days to go We'll see how many write in votes he gets" - Lundquist after a crowd shot showed a sign saying "Tebow for President" (via JG)
Anon notes the sprinklers going off before OT in Pitt-ND, which I caught. Hey, Coach Weis wanted a shower, guys, let it go....
"Can you say busted coverage? It can't get more busted than that." - Danielson after Percy Harvin was wide open in end zone for TD (via JG)
"He could work for the weather channel."- Norrie, on Todd Harris talking about the sloppy field at Cal (via 49er16)
As usual, leave stuff for the night games. I'll be in and out.
"That touchdown pass was perfected throwed"- Lou Holtz
"We're Chock full of Johnsons here"- Barry Tompkins
"Tripper Johnson makes the stop on Stafon Johnson, much as he made the stop on Ronald Johnson. We are chalked full of Johnsons"- Barry Tompkins
"I got a bunch of Twenties in my pocket. Andrew Johnson"- Petros Papadakis
"They weren't able to run the ball or pass the ball, besides that, their offense was sizzling"- Barry Tompkins
"Ganz, play-action fake, hit as he throws, and that's going to be complete, but for a loss of about 2 yards" - Mike Patrick confuses his digitally placed lines during an 8 yard completion
"This is a guy who is a combination of great courage and nuts."- Steve Physioc