SNF Live-Blog: Steelers @ Jaguars, 1st Half

Sunday, October 05, 2008


Steelers kicker Jeff Reed feels pretty, witty, and light, and pities any girl who isn't him tonight. He feels charming and enchanting; it's alarming how charming he feels.

I would like to chide John for saying "Jag-wires." Proper pronunciation, John. Steelers take the kickoff out to their 18. Well, Mewelde Moore seems like an admirable fill in -- 15 yards on that first carry -- and an extra 15 comes from the Jags on an unnecessary roughness penalty. Ben the Glove tosses to Hines Ward, who gets inside the Jags' 40.

Note to Jacksonville: Don't make Mewelde Moore look like Walter Payton. - SSReporters

John Henderson sacks the Glove on 2nd down, as the ref calls the grasp rule even though he was throwing....and 3rd down brings Rashean Mathis with a pick 6 for the SCORE!

That was quick. 7-0 Jags after the kick.

"They've been a running team ever since Franco Harris" - John

I guess John forgets the Steelers of the early 2000s when they were as pass happy as anyone with Tommy Maddox. You really can't blame him though, I mean who else besides me actually remembers Tommy Maddox. - JFein

Most Steeler fans have blacked him out. Najeh Davenport returns the kickoff past the 25. After two incompletions, the Glove (who isn't wearing one, but I prefer calling him that rather than Ben) hits Santonio "John" Holmes for a frist down at the 43. Pittsburgh is barreling through, running with both Moore and Davenport. Moore catches a pass and heads down to the 31.

Another personal foul on the Jags puts the Steelers at the J'ville 15. The Glove hits up Heath Miller at the 3. Another play fake to Miller, and it's a TOUCHDOWN!

Kick is up and good, 7-7 tie.

John and Al were talking about Jags D-lineman John Henderson, and we can't talk about John Henderson without this video:



You got to make blood come out of the mouth, people. There was a better, longer version of the same ritual, only done on the road, but the NFL Network pulled it off YouTube.

Maurice Jones-Drew takes the kickoff out to the 20. Taylor drops a screen pass, but then rushes for a yard. David Garrard then hits Matt "White Pony" Jones, whom I am surprised has escaped ridicule as much as he has -- dude got caught with coke on his nose and he's playing! Taylor gets one on the next carry. Garrard's next throw is out of the reach of anyone.

The third down throw hits Walker for a first down. At the Steeler 40, Garrard bombs for the White Pony, and he gets dragged down in the end zone by Ike Taylor, who's gonna get flagged for pass interference.

Maurice Jones-Drew gets the yard for a TOUCHDOWN, Scobee adds the extra point, 14-7 Jags.

"He burrowed in there." - John. Al said something about a double entendre from John that I missed after that.

The Glove hits Nate Washington on 1st and 15 (after a false start) at the 25 for a 2nd and 5. Another false start makes it 2nd and 10. The next pass is incomplete, but then the Glove hits Ward for the 3rd down conversion at the 33. Another pass to Ward will finish off the 1st quarter.

Did someone reset Frank Caleindo's 15 min clock? - JG

Blame TBS for giving "Frank TV" another season. Moore goes to the 45 yard line on the next carry, getting a first down. Glove hits Ward at the 22 yard line, but there's a flag -- and it gets picked up because Glove was outside the pocket. Moore gets a few more, and we're set up with a 3rd and 3 at the 20. Glove threw off his back foot to Moore, and it was underthrown. Jeff The Exhibitionist will kick a field goal try from 38 yards out -- up and good. 14-10, Jags.

Witherspoon takes the kickoff back to the 39, stopped only by Reed from getting to the end zone. The Jags are stuck with a 3-and-out, here comes the punter. Steelers have it back at the 18, and the slant to Holmes gets out to the Pitt 37. Moore gains a yard on a carry.

"Exotic Blitzes"? Isn't that a strip club a block down from Soldier Field? - Mal

OK, I missed that first down play...but the Glove bombs it to Nate Washington and he's in fox the touchdown. Kick is up and good, 17-14, Steelers take the lead.

@Mal - yes it is, but all the strippers look like Buddy Ryan's relatives - Rob in WI

"He squirts down the line." - John, via 49er16

Nate Washington just redefined wide open on that touchdown pass. - JFein
Wow... no WR should be that wide open... unless it's like, a middle school game. - Rob in WI
William James must change his name to "Gullible DB". - SSReporters

Cruel. The Jags start with a carry by MJD on their own 7.

"He just runs right through. He's like a missile. I start a defense, I'll take him" - John, as the Jags suffer another three and out, this time deep in their own territory. Holmes takes the return back to the Pitt 45, and there are flags on an illegal block in the back. So, that's going back to the 37. A first-down pass across the 50 will be negated on holding, making it 3rd and pretty long, but the Glove goes for Nate Washington and is incomplete. 4th down.

And the Steelers get bailed out on a taunting penalty. First down at the 40. Jack del Rio looks like he's about to explode on the sidelines. Moore gets hit behind the line on 1st, and the next two plays go nowhere. Another punt coming, and it goes into the end zone. Jags will start at their own 20.

The Jags are burrowing using the run, trying to get the run started, and it's making me kinda sleepy -- and they get denied on 3rd down, so it's punt-trading. Holmes brings the punt back to the Pitt 29. Gary Russell hits the outside, rushing for a first at the 43. The Glove throws it to Miller at the J'ville 39, and we've hit the two minute warning.

Did Al just say that one of the Steelers linemen was doing a good job? Is he watching the sames Steelers games we are? Can't he at least pay someone to watch tape and tell him that "The Steelers line is like a sieve"... especially since they went on and on about how The Glove was getting hit again and again?

I never thought I'd say this, but Al Michaels needs to go. - Rob in WI

We pick up with the Steelers at the 25 of J'ville, and The Glove overthrows John Holmes. The porn-star-in-training brings the pass in at the 5 for a first in goal on the next play, and pays for it with the business end of a hit from a Jaguar. Hines Ward couldn't get both feet in and hang on to the pass on 1st. Moore gets a yard on 2nd. The Glove throws one to where nobody actually is. The Exhibitionist should be coming on to kick a figgie. 23 yard kick is up and good. 20-14, Steelers.

NBC has shown like, 3 JAX cheerleaders... I'm beginning to think that all women in Jacksonville are either a) strippers, b) whores, or c) both. And not the good kind, either. The kind that have been at their job just about 5 years too long. - Rob in WI

Who looks older, Dan Rooney or Al Davis? - 49er16

I'm voting Davis. After a couple of busted plays, the Jags take a knee. 20-14, Steelers at halftime.

"There are a lot of Terrible Towels here." - John
"There are a lot of Jaguars fans crying in their towels." - Al

See you in the 2nd half thread.

69 Comments:

Fun Fact: Not pictured is his dick hanging out while some Asian girl blows him.

Anonymous said...
Oct 5, 2008, 8:16:00 PM  

I am not sure who to root for I hate the steelers and the Jags are the Titans

KR said...
Oct 5, 2008, 8:17:00 PM  

Good to know I'll watch a football game after seeing the Seahawks play this morning.

ssreporters said...
Oct 5, 2008, 8:18:00 PM  

This is the first time I recall John Madden with a brown jacket.

@ ssreporters: Ah, cheer up, you play the Eagles in a few weeks..

JFein said...
Oct 5, 2008, 8:21:00 PM  

Andrea Kremer looks like she just got out of bed 1 hour ago.

ssreporters said...
Oct 5, 2008, 8:22:00 PM  

@ Jfein, but I'll still have to watch the Eagles so that means even less quality football.

ssreporters said...
Oct 5, 2008, 8:23:00 PM  

Note to Jacksonville: Don't make Mewelde Moore look like Walter Payton.

ssreporters said...
Oct 5, 2008, 8:25:00 PM  

Just wondering what sort of blackmail the Steelers have on the schedule makers, they have been on SNF or MNF nearly every week

jg said...
Oct 5, 2008, 8:25:00 PM  

"They've been a running team ever since Franco Harris" - John Madden

I guess John forgets the Steelers of the early 2000s when they were as pass happy as anyone with Tommy Maddox. You really can't blame him though, I mean who else besides me actually remembers Tommy Maddox.

JFein said...
Oct 5, 2008, 8:27:00 PM  

Rashean Mathis = Ben Roethlisberger's bitch.

Anonymous said...
Oct 5, 2008, 8:29:00 PM  

Roethlisberger loves throwing to Mathis.

ssreporters said...
Oct 5, 2008, 8:29:00 PM  

The white jerseys, Ben throw it to the guys in the white jerseys.

jg said...
Oct 5, 2008, 8:30:00 PM  

Anon, I think you mean that the other way around.

Signal to Noise said...
Oct 5, 2008, 8:30:00 PM  

That was a nice Jacksonville bridge I guess

KR said...
Oct 5, 2008, 8:33:00 PM  

S2N

I thought that didn't look right either.

BoSox with a 3 run single that barely got out of the infield. Ooops.

Rob in WI said...
Oct 5, 2008, 8:34:00 PM  

Well Jacksonville, you're making Moore look like Emmit Smith, Walter Payton, and Barry Sanders combined.

ssreporters said...
Oct 5, 2008, 8:37:00 PM  

"With Ben beaten up, they have to give him good pass protection." - John "Captain Obvious" Madden

ssreporters said...
Oct 5, 2008, 8:40:00 PM  

Holy Wide Open Batman!

ssreporters said...
Oct 5, 2008, 8:41:00 PM  

The Glove throws his 2nd TD pass of the night

jg said...
Oct 5, 2008, 8:42:00 PM  

I fucked Barack Obama, I love big dicks so I gotta go black.

Sarah Palin said...
Oct 5, 2008, 8:46:00 PM  

Rather quiet in the comment area.

ssreporters said...
Oct 5, 2008, 8:50:00 PM  

Very entertaining game so far, and Ike Taylor costs the Steelers.

ssreporters said...
Oct 5, 2008, 8:53:00 PM  

"That was a nice Jacksonville bridge I guess"

It's either that, or the Waffle House's at every other intersection.

Sam Walker said...
Oct 5, 2008, 8:55:00 PM  

Did someone reset Frank Caleindo's 15 min clock ?

jg said...
Oct 5, 2008, 8:58:00 PM  

I love how John can't get words out of his mouth.

Anonymous said...
Oct 5, 2008, 9:03:00 PM  

A TV show that has Christian Slater with a split personality? Doesn't it deny the law of physics to say you can split something that does not exist in the first place?

Mal said...
Oct 5, 2008, 9:14:00 PM  

The Madden cruiser will be burning some serious rubber this week. Jacksonville to SD.

Exhibit A of what can go wrong when
scheduling based on last year: Pats vs Bolts

jg said...
Oct 5, 2008, 9:16:00 PM  

"Exotic Blitzes"? Isn't that a strip club a block down from Soldier Field?

Mal said...
Oct 5, 2008, 9:17:00 PM  

Even worse, they got to go back to Tampa for Seahawks/Bucs, which I can't figure out how it got put on the schedule regardless of how those two played last year.

ssreporters said...
Oct 5, 2008, 9:18:00 PM  

@Mal

yes it is, but all the strippers look like Buddy Ryan's relatives.

/shudder/

Rob in WI said...
Oct 5, 2008, 9:18:00 PM  

"He squirts down the line."_ John Madden

49er16 said...
Oct 5, 2008, 9:19:00 PM  

Nate Washington just redefined wide open on that touchdown pass.

JFein said...
Oct 5, 2008, 9:20:00 PM  

Wow... no WR should be that wide open... unless it's like, a middle school game.

Rob in WI said...
Oct 5, 2008, 9:20:00 PM  

William James must change his name to "Gullible DB".

ssreporters said...
Oct 5, 2008, 9:20:00 PM  

Wow... no WR should be that wide open... unless it's like, a Seahawks game.


Fixed your post.

ssreporters said...
Oct 5, 2008, 9:22:00 PM  

@ Rob - very nice follow up.

BTW - If you took the "under 36" that was for the first half, right?

Mal said...
Oct 5, 2008, 9:22:00 PM  

Seahawks and Bucs play on Sunday Night??? Wow...who was high when they were scheduling the SNF games this year?

JFein said...
Oct 5, 2008, 9:22:00 PM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
JFein said...
Oct 5, 2008, 9:23:00 PM  

SSR 9:18

Wouldnt that be up against a World Series game ?

I mean it might be worth watching, being a Genius Bowl and everything

jg said...
Oct 5, 2008, 9:23:00 PM  

@ ssrreporters - you're just being redundant. Isn't that the same thing? Po-tay-to. Po-tah-to.

Mal said...
Oct 5, 2008, 9:24:00 PM  

Hey, the main networks blew their wad on the Browns so.....

ssreporters said...
Oct 5, 2008, 9:25:00 PM  

Napoli just homered in the 5th to put the Angels back on top 4 to 3.

Mal said...
Oct 5, 2008, 9:27:00 PM  

"Wouldnt that be up against a World Series game?"


The World Series doesn't start that early dude.



@ Mal, well played, but Seattle is at least high school caliber.

ssreporters said...
Oct 5, 2008, 9:27:00 PM  

Well, good to know that given the three headed fantasy monster of Rongratsname, Marmalard and Elisha, I will always start the wrong one.

Rob in WI said...
Oct 5, 2008, 9:29:00 PM  

Did Al just say that one of the Steelers linemen was doing a good job? Is he watching the sames Steelers games we are? Can't he at least pay someone to watch tape and tell him that "The Steelers line is like a sieve"... especially since they went on and on about how The Glove was getting hit again and again?

I never thought I'd say this, but Al Michaels needs to go.

Rob in WI said...
Oct 5, 2008, 9:31:00 PM  

I guess the defense caught on with the Great Nate Washington

KD said...
Oct 5, 2008, 9:32:00 PM  

The Jags are a really dumb football team......stick to getting arrested.

ssreporters said...
Oct 5, 2008, 9:32:00 PM  

Al: "They started jawing each other".

Followed by:

John: "That will make a coach let the air out of himself".

Mal said...
Oct 5, 2008, 9:33:00 PM  

Given the recent problems, having referees waering glasses is probably bad PR

jg said...
Oct 5, 2008, 9:34:00 PM  

Did anyone else's screen just get bigger?

ssreporters said...
Oct 5, 2008, 9:34:00 PM  

@ssreporters - yes, but just during the Cialis commercial.

Mal said...
Oct 5, 2008, 9:36:00 PM  

If you mean TV, I just had a blip, like there was a temporary interruption in the signal, but everything is the same size as before.

jg said...
Oct 5, 2008, 9:37:00 PM  

Jacksonville's offense looks almost as bad as the 49ers offense looked today against New England

49er16 said...
Oct 5, 2008, 9:39:00 PM  

I got the same TV problem...ah well.

ssreporters said...
Oct 5, 2008, 9:39:00 PM  

This game makes the Baltimore-Tennesse game today look like a thriller

49er16 said...
Oct 5, 2008, 9:41:00 PM  

This $5 footlong commercial with women showing what a footlong is is sexually suggestive.

manbearpig said...
Oct 5, 2008, 9:41:00 PM  

NBC has shown like, 3 JAX cheerleaders... I'm beginning to think that all women in Jacksonville are either a) strippers, b) whores, or c) both.

And not the good kind, either. The kind that have been at their job just abotu 5 years too long.

Rob in WI said...
Oct 5, 2008, 9:41:00 PM  

I love these Bud commercials where the people have to act frozen rather than through special effects. Very clever.

Mal said...
Oct 5, 2008, 9:42:00 PM  

Alright - my picture is ocassionally glitching. Is that NBC, Directv or Mal TV?

Mal said...
Oct 5, 2008, 9:44:00 PM  

Who looks older, Dan Rooney or Al Davis

49er16 said...
Oct 5, 2008, 9:45:00 PM  

@49er

Dan at least looks lucid. I think that's more important.

Rob in WI said...
Oct 5, 2008, 9:46:00 PM  

Jacksonville is doing everything they can to underachieve and perform below expectations like they usually do.

ssreporters said...
Oct 5, 2008, 9:47:00 PM  

Rooney has to be older. In Al's case, once you start to decompose, I think counting one's age officially stops.

Mal said...
Oct 5, 2008, 9:47:00 PM  

@ rob in wi
I guess you are right.

49er16 said...
Oct 5, 2008, 9:48:00 PM  

That series of plays was from the Andy Reid goal line offense handbook.

jg said...
Oct 5, 2008, 9:50:00 PM  

How thick are the ref's glasses? Good lord. Don't look into the sun or you'll sear your corneas.

Mal said...
Oct 5, 2008, 9:52:00 PM  

"Jackonville has alot of crying towls, with the way their playing."- Al

49er16 said...
Oct 5, 2008, 9:52:00 PM  

John: "I noticed a lot of terrible towels here".

Al: "The Jag fans will be using a lot of crying towels for this half".

Mal said...
Oct 5, 2008, 9:53:00 PM  

In case you were curious, those shoes Maurice Jones Drew is holding are the Creative Recreation Classic Cesario Lo.

ben said...
Oct 5, 2008, 11:46:00 PM  

Post a Comment