The Pam Ward Chronicles: Week Eight

Saturday, October 18, 2008


Hello, campers. Time for another Saturday of the college gridiron, and grown people saying silly things while calling those games. The matron saint of this here feature is calling Purdue vs. Northwestern.

Your College Football Announcing Schedule

Let's have at it. I think I'll be starting with the Andre Ware Watch today because I want to watch Georgia Tech's offense.

Additional Programming Note: There will be a live-blog of Game 6 of the ALCS at 8pm tonight, for those of you so inclined (barring outside interruption.)

"Georgia Tech is a team you don't want to let get going." - Andre Ware

"Looks like the last guy who walked in borrowed something from your wardrobe, Andre!" - Dave Pasch, after shots of the Tiger Walk and a Clemson player wearing a lavender suit with stripes.

"It comes off as insensitive, immature, and inappropriate." - Dave Pasch, on Cullen Harper's comments about Tommy Bowden deserving to get fired. Yeah, never mind the fact that Harper was right to say Bowden deserved it.

Special Godwin's Law Edition:

"Ya know, Hitler was a great leader too." - Lou Holtz, discussing Rich Rodriguez's troubles at Michigan. (via Deadspin)

"Tough times for your alma mater." - Andre Ware, after highlights show Syracuse down 14-3.
"I'm not a fan of firing coaches in the middle of the season, but it's the end for Greg Robinson." - Dave Pasch

How many Syracuse alums are there in the announcing ranks? Damn.

"No, that's not Andre Ware's pad, that's the president of Clemson's home. We'll be going there for some tea after the game." - Dave Pasch, on a bump shot of the house.

"You hope for a clean game -- turnovers as well as penalties -- and this has been far from a clean game." - Andre Ware

"Cory Sheets is normally good as gold with things in his hand." - Pam Ward (via JFein)

"[Riley] Skinner essentially has a third eye with his great feet." - Mike Hogewood (via Joe)

"He ran into a jackhammer there." - Doc Walker, after a tackle by a MD player whose last name is Wojack.

"Arnu went after it like a dog going for a bone with meat on it." - Doc Walker, the gift that keeps on giving, describing a Wake player chasing a fumble.. Someone get him on ESPN stat.

"So good camera work is a result of good eating." - Steve Martin complimenting the camera work of someone on the crew who apparently ate a large amount at dinner last night.

(Last three all courtesy of JG)

"Marcus Gilchrist will not live that one down in the film room this week." - Andre Ware, after Gilchrist gets tackled by kicker Scott Blair on what should have been a kick return TD.

"They got as much vertical on that as you, Dave." - Andre Ware, after the third GT pick of the game.

"Peterman, resilient in those Himalayan walking boots." - Rece Davis, working in Seinfeld references again with the Northwestern player (he mentioned the Urban Sombrero a few weeks back, quote via Anon.)

"[Joe Tiller] only had one losing season and that was the only season that Purdue did not go to a bowl game" - Pam Ward being redundant, via JFein

"King Kong and Godzilla going at it." - Doc Walker after a MD and Wake player were battling for the ball, via JG

"I tried to clarify my remarks, and I don't think I was able to. I appreciate your understanding." - Lou Holtz, apologizing for his Hitler reference.

"The extra point is no good." - Pam Ward
"The dreaded doink." - Ray Bentley

"I'm not aware of that penalty in the rule book, the slap to the face." - Ray Bentley
"No dope slapping in football." - Pam Ward

"Turner with a bullet to the tuba
section." - Steve Martin after MD QB Chris Turner throws pass out of bounds, via JG

"And you can see his knee come down right here..." (as the replay shows the punter for GT landing on his butt at the 50 after a failed fake punt) - Andre Ware, via Anon

"Jeremy Ebert was part of a Purdue sandwich." - Pam Ward

"Those are the kind of things that are gonna make Coach Tiller jump in his RV and drive cross-country." - Ray Bentley, after an offsides on Purdue gives N'Western a first down.

"IS HE GOING TO GO ALL THE WAY? YOU BETCHA HE WILL!!" - Bill Lamb channeling his inner Gus Johnson in the Texas Tech-Texas A&M game as A&M hit a long pass for a TD. The TD was subsequently called back for a hold, negating a great play, and that scream (via JFein).

(Note: originally identified as Joel Meyers, he wasn't at the game today. Sorry for the error.)

"You can't kick a field goal here if you're A%M, you've gotta get the touchdown here. Tech is a dangerous team and going up by two scores over them would be a great boost for this team." - Dave Lapham, via Jon, who notes that this was being said while A&M was down 16-20.

"There's some cheese grits for you, Andre." - Dave Pasch
"I can eat 'em." - Andre Ware
"I can't." - Pasch

Six sticks of butter in that there recipe. Yikes.

"I think my heart just stopped listening to that recipe." - Pasch
"Get some of those grits up here." - Ware
"You might be eating up here alone." - Pasch

"Nice little acting job by Scott Blair." - Andre Ware
"Oh, you gotta be kidding me." - Dave Pasch, after the GT punter takes his cue from the Italian Men's National Soccer Team and gets a flag to keep the drive going.

"Cory Jackson is all caveman." - Doc Walker on the fullback for the Terps (via Anon)

More Doc fun, next three via JG again:

"I call his name every 4 plays." - Walker on Wake LB Adam Curry, whom we haven't seen on offense or special teams.

"They should go into Neanderthal mode here to put the game away." - Walker suggesting MD should run the ball, the next two plays were passes.

"He is an eclipse." - Walker on the size of a MD offensive lineman

"I want to chaperone that." - Doc Walker
"I think Chad is." - Steve Martin after a promo for a trip to the ACC championship sponsored by Alltell. (via JG again)

"I really like Cory Sheets. He can run sideways almost as fast as others can run forward." - Ray Bentley, via Anon

"Shakin and bakin to get in the end zone." - Walker on MD WR Danny Oquendo eluding tacklers to score a TD (via JG)

"These guys are pissed off to give up points." - Chris Martin (via Anon, who wonders if you can say that on TV.)

"What gets me is Clemson falls out of the rankings, but Georgia only drops to # 10." - Steve Martin discussing the poll results after both teams lost to Alabama.
"You know why." - Doc Walker implying a hidden agenda in the poll voting. (via JG)

Yeah, I know why. Because Clemson is in the ACC, Clemson makes a habit of mediocrity, and they contracted the Bitch Mentality from Tommy Bowden. Georgia at least plays in a tougher conference and usually plays harder.

"Rutgers gets their first win over a FCS team." - Tim Brando, after the Scarlet Knights beat UConn. Look, it's the Big East, I understand why Tim got confused.

Our car crash team of Nessler, Maguire, and Griese are on OSU-MSU today, apparently, and they're off to the races already:

"Can Ohio State win the Big Ten with a rookie quarterback? That QB is Bea.....Terrelle Pryor" - Bob Griese, apparently confusing Beanie Wells with Terrelle Pryor (via JFein)

"Ahmad Ringer, I think he's got soul and a soldier." - Brad Nessler after they played the Killers' song with that line in it ("I got soul but I'm not a soldier.") Thanks again, JFein.

The song is called "All The Things That I've Done," I think, but the bigger thing is that Nessler thought his name was Ahmad, not Javon.

"Pryor better bend over a little, he runs too straight. They're gonna kill him." - Paul Maguire

"Snead, that's a one-hopper to shortstop." - Verne Lundquist, after Ole Miss QB Jevan Snead throws it away by half-spiking it five yards away.

"Kansas trying to feed you what OU feeds you." - Ed Cunningham on Kansas runiing a hurry up offense (via JG)

"Nick Saban went over to Maize and told him, 'What are you doing? We're trying to win a national championship here, son.'" - Gary Danielson, after an excessive celebration penalty on a TD by Marquis Maze
"That conversation might continue." - Verne Lundquist
"That's probably the only part that I can say on TV." - Danielson

The excessive celebration penalties in college football are so stupid.

"He's trying to get to the right comfort letter." - Tracy Wolfson, she corrected herself and said level on an Ole Miss player's trying to find the right shoes. (via JG)

"I think he made contact, and that'll be the biggest gain of the day for Washington State." - Barry Tompkins, calling an offsides penalty. USC has scored 3 touchdowns in 11 minutes of game time.

"Timmy, style points against Washington State don't count until you're in the 40s." - Gary Danielson, after Tim Brando gives an update on the USC-Wazzu blowout

"He's lobbying to get back in the game." - Jack Arute on an injured Oklahoma player trying to get back in the game.
"They are the most powerful creatures in the countrty today, lobbyists." - Ron Franklin (via JG)

"Their offense always scores a little more than the defense gives up." - Petros Papadakis, on USC (via BSPN)

"If you run for the endzone, a lot of time, you score." - Petros Papadakis (via BSPN)

"He is your new toy, don't wear him out." - Ed Cunningham on the increased role of OU's 240 lb fullback. (via JG)

"My goodness, he drove him back six yards!" - Danielson, after Alabama uses DT Terrance Cody as a fullback on a goal-line play.
"That was seismic!" - Lundquist

"Thompson put one of those 'Can you hear me now?' hits on [Daryll] Clark." - Chris Spielman, as a Michigan defender causes a fumble.

"A catch by Smelley, whose brother Chris is the sometime starter at South Carolina" - Lundquist taking a swipe at the Ole Ball Coach (via JG)

"When he is in the open field, I don't think there is anyone who can bring him down." Bob Griese about Terrelle Pryor as he is tackled in the open field by a single guy (via Anon)

"I'm texting him [Mark Sanchez] right now; they call me the ole textoso!" - Petros Papadakis (via BSPN)

"Now the officials say it's Kansas basketball." - Ron Franklin


"At this rate you're gonna see JoePa come down from the press box to yell at the defense." - Chris Spielman, as the Wolverines go up 10-0.

"He lifted up a 220-lb guy like a sack of potatoes." - Chris Spielman

"I thought golf was a good walk spolied." - Jack Arute channeling Mark Twain.
"Those muscles help him get 300 yd drives." - Ed Cunningham, after some random discussion about OU QB Sam Bradford being an avid golfer, and how the muscles in his chest help his throwing motion and swing. (via JG)

"You know it's a good hit when the running back goes backwards." - Chris Spielman (via JFein)

"If you got a hot hand, ride it!" - Ed Cunningham (via Fairplay)

"We're gonna test that cart." - Gary Danielson, as Terrence Cody was about to be taken off the field on a medical golf cart (via Mal)

"[Rich Rodriguez's] shoes aren't as expensive as yours, though." - Sean McDonough to Rob Stone. Stoner was explaining how RichRod uses his feet to call a play and Stoner was demonstrating by crossing his feet as the camera panned down to his shoes. (Via JFein)

I think the only two songs they play at Beaver Stadium are Blur's "Song 2" and the White Stripes' "Seven Nation Army."

"The yellow line is not official." - Lundquist, as the refs mark the ball after an Ole Miss 3rd and short play. (via Mal)

"I believe they will get Oklahoma for cheating." - Ron Franklin, after an OU kickoff return. (via RockChalkJayhawk)

"Lets be a little careful with those open microphones " - Ron Franklin after KU coach Mangino is shown yelling at a player who comitted a 15 yd penalty (via JG)

"He's my top performer of the week because he ate a 20 lb. hamburger and he's only 5'11" 180." -Nessler
"How much weight did he gain?" -Griese
"About 20 lbs." -Nessler (via Anon)

"Here are the possessions of Alabama so far in the 2nd half: Punt, Punt, Interception, Fumble, Punt, and no thats not a rap song." - Lundquist, via Fairplay

"[Kevin Kelly] gets good heighth on [his field goal kicks]" - Chris Spielman, via JFein, who would like to remind you that they do not teach basic English at THE Ohio State University, if Spielman is any indication.

"He had a world of time to throw." -Terry Gannon (via Bazooka Jones)

"If Sam's like me, he could be falling asleep, I mean this sucker has been going on for awhile." - Ron "The Old Man" Franklin, clearly not enjoying a great offensive game -- via Fairplay.

"Put some Ben-gay on it." - Spielman after Stone reported on injured UM QB Steven Threet. (via Anon)

"They put up like a million yards" - Rece Davis, channeling his inner Tony Kornheiser, in regards to KU-OU highlights (via JFein)

"Go for it. You got 'em on the ropes. Knock 'em out". - Chris Spielman giving advice to Penn State that one would normally hear at a boxing match. (Via JFein)

"About the only way to stop these is to get players who start on Sunday across the board." - Ed Cunningham saying you need an NFL defense to stop a Big 12 offense (via JG)

OK, folks. I'm gonna halt the pasting portion here so I can take a break and get ready for the baseball live-blog in about 45 minutes and catch the end of some of these games. Of course, keep leaving quotes from the night games if you'll be watching those, particularly LSU-Carolina, because Mike Patrick guarantees at least four dumb statements in the first quarter or your money back.

"This game will allow one team to get a conference victory."- David Diaz-Infante, as the SEC game between Arkansas and Kentucky begins

"After playing so well this week against Michigan State, I expect Ohio State to play their best game of the year next year, er, next week against Penn State" - Chris Spielman

"Cocky is happy." - Mike Patrick after a shot of a live gamecock

"Tyson Chandler has been passing under pressure all game." - Pat Ryan referring to Mississippi State QB, Tyson Lee, in the 2nd Qtr

"That's why they call it show business, and not show friends."- Mark Jones in reference to Colt McCoy and Texas beating up on his buddy Chase Daniel and Mizzou

"If the ball hits the ground, by rule it's incomplete."- Mike Patrick

"Rich Rodriquez will be a teacher long before he is the CEO of Michigan"- Andre Ware

"Boy if they (Florida) go undefeated, watch out...."- Gary Danielson about Tim Tebow's chances of winning the Heisman this season

Posted by Signal to Noise at 11:45 AM

142 Comments:

Andre Ware: "Georgia Tech is a team you don't want to let get going."

Joe said...
Oct 18, 2008, 12:06:00 PM  

Saw the best gameday sign ever in Austin today: "Chase Daniel has a fupa."

Anonymous said...
Oct 18, 2008, 12:21:00 PM  

"Cory Sheets is normally good as gold with things in his hand" - Pam Ward

Okaaaayyy....

JFein said...
Oct 18, 2008, 12:52:00 PM  

Mike Hogewood (sideline reporter on Raycom ACC games), after Maryland coaches tell him about how to game plan for Wake: "Skinner (Riley) essentially has a third eye with his great feet (or something like that)"

Joe said...
Oct 18, 2008, 12:53:00 PM  

These gems from Wake Forest / MD:

"He ran into a jackhammer there" - after a tackle by a MD player whose last name is Wojack.

"Arnu went after it like a dog going for a bone with meat on it."
- describing a Wake player chasing a fumble, both by Rick "Doc" Walker

"So good camera work is a result of good eating." - Steve Martin complimenting the camera work of someone on the crew who apparently ate a large amount at dinner last night.

jg said...
Oct 18, 2008, 12:57:00 PM  

"Peterman resilant in those Himalayan walking boots"

Reece Davis with the Seinfeld reference.

Anonymous said...
Oct 18, 2008, 1:07:00 PM  

"[Joe Tiller] only had one losing season and that was the only season that Purdue did not go to a bowl game" - Pam Ward being redundant.

JFein said...
Oct 18, 2008, 1:12:00 PM  

"king kong and Godzilla going at it." - Doc Walker afetr a MD and Wake player were battling for the ball

jg said...
Oct 18, 2008, 1:14:00 PM  

"And you can see his knee come down right here..." (as the replay shows the punter for GT landing on his butt at the 50 after a failed fake punt) - Andre Ware

Anonymous said...
Oct 18, 2008, 1:24:00 PM  

"Turner with a bullet to the tuba
section." - Steve Martin after MD QB Chris Turner throws pass out of bounds

jg said...
Oct 18, 2008, 1:26:00 PM  

Holtz should be fired, just like all the other sportscasters and others who've used that line.
It's a no-brainer.

Anonymous said...
Oct 18, 2008, 1:28:00 PM  

"He's built like a block of ice, but he moves pretty well." - Doc Walker talking about a MD fullback

jg said...
Oct 18, 2008, 1:32:00 PM  

"IS HE GOING TO GO ALL THE WAY? YOU BETCHA HE WILL!!" - Joel Myers channeling his inner Gus Johnson in the Texas Tech-Texas A&M game as A&M hit a long pass for a TD. The TD was subsequently called back for a hold, negating a great play, and that scream by Myers.

JFein said...
Oct 18, 2008, 1:36:00 PM  

Pasch: "I'm not a fan of firing coached in midseason."

Tommy Bowden much?

JamesCraven said...
Oct 18, 2008, 1:41:00 PM  

I missed the Hilter reference by Holtz, but shouldnt "DO NOT SAY ANYTHING GOOD ABOUT HITLER" be on page one of the broadcaster training manual ?

Some of Holtz's brilliance from thursday:

"It is still 11 on 11, it hasnt changed in 50 years."

"Apparently they spent more time recruiting a QB than a left tackle" - Holtz's comment to Mark May. May had just described how Dan Marino as a freshman had replaced a senoir QB at Pitt. They were discussing the QB situation at Ohio St.

jg said...
Oct 18, 2008, 1:44:00 PM  

Potential upset alert: Texas A&M leads Texas Tech 23-20 at halftime.

JFein said...
Oct 18, 2008, 1:46:00 PM  

"You can't kick a field goal here if you're A%M, you've gotta get the touchdown here. Tech is a dangerous team and going up by two scores over them would be a great boost for this team." Dave Lapham

This being said while A&M is down 16-20.

jon said...
Oct 18, 2008, 1:56:00 PM  

If Jimmy the Greek and Steve Lyons were fired, so should Holtz.Today.

Anonymous said...
Oct 18, 2008, 2:02:00 PM  

"only 3 for 10 today not good" - Steve Martin on Wake's 3rd down conversion rate.

"That's the walk of death there." - Martin again after 17 yd punt by Wake, and the camera focuses on the Wake punter heading for the sideline.

jg said...
Oct 18, 2008, 2:06:00 PM  

"Wake is just a touchdown away from being in prefect position." - Doc Walker, Wake currently trails 16-0 with 7 minutes left in 3rd.

jg said...
Oct 18, 2008, 2:16:00 PM  

Cory Jackson is all caveman-Doc Walker on the fullback for the Terps

Anonymous said...
Oct 18, 2008, 2:22:00 PM  

i couldnt agree more about needing to get doc on espn. the nation needs to hear that the card's boldin has been a 'cyborg' in the nfl, linebackers referred to exclusively as 'werewolves', fullbacks called 'cavemen', and the key to md running out the clock is to put it into 'all-neanderthal mode'.

Anonymous said...
Oct 18, 2008, 2:23:00 PM  

"I call his name every 4 plays" -Doc Walker on Wake LB Adam Curry, I havent seen him on special teams or offense

"They should go into Neanderthal mode here to put the game away" - Doc Walker suggesting MD should run the ball, the next two plays were passes.

"He is an eclipse" - Walker on the size of a MD offensive lineman

jg said...
Oct 18, 2008, 2:26:00 PM  

i love how casually doc calls guys werewolves. like its a normal way to describe football players.

Anonymous said...
Oct 18, 2008, 2:32:00 PM  

"I want to chaperone that." - Doc Walker

"I think Chad is" - Steve Martin after a promo for a trip to the ACC championship sponsored by Alltell.

jg said...
Oct 18, 2008, 2:38:00 PM  

"I really like Cory Sheets. He can run sideways almost as fast as others can run forward." - Ray Bentley

Anonymous said...
Oct 18, 2008, 2:40:00 PM  

doc's insane, pretty much everything he says should go up on the blog front page. i actually think if i did win that airplane ride contest i would include doc, just to hear him describe my friends and i as cyborgs and werewolves. that line about the 3 and short pile being a 'fistfight' just made me crack up...

Anonymous said...
Oct 18, 2008, 2:51:00 PM  

"He's a QB not a RB" after analyzing a QB sneak

"They got some home cooking there.", on the spot of the ball for MD, and it being a home game for MD. - Doc Walker

jg said...
Oct 18, 2008, 2:52:00 PM  

I dont have Joel Meyers on my TTech-A&M game. Im pretty sure i'm not mistaken because he has distinctive voice. I do have Lapham(also Bengals announcer and FSN Ohio HS announcer..dude is all over the place).

Anonymous said...
Oct 18, 2008, 2:55:00 PM  

Anon, that was lazy of me. I caught the beginning of the game, but I can't remember the dude's name. It definitely isn't Meyers.

Signal to Noise said...
Oct 18, 2008, 3:01:00 PM  

"These guys are pissed off to give up points." - Chris Martin

...can you say that on TV?

Anonymous said...
Oct 18, 2008, 3:04:00 PM  

"Grothe finds Johnson again." - John Saunders

ssreporters said...
Oct 18, 2008, 3:06:00 PM  

"Shakin and bakin to get in the endzone" - Walker on MD WR Danny Oquendo eluding tacklers to score a TD.

jg said...
Oct 18, 2008, 3:07:00 PM  

Was Joel Meyers actually doing the Tech/A & M game cause I dont hear him now?

Either that was a misidentification or the rare announcer switch.....

stephen said...
Oct 18, 2008, 3:07:00 PM  

It's Bill Land in College Station and that was planned.

ssreporters said...
Oct 18, 2008, 3:11:00 PM  

SS - thank you, will modify.

Signal to Noise said...
Oct 18, 2008, 3:17:00 PM  

"What gets me is Clemson falls out of the rankings, but Georgia only drops to # 10." - Steve Martin discussing the poll results after both teams lost to Alabama.

"You know why" - Doc Walker implying a hidden agenda in the poll voting.

13 minutes till Verne and Gary, I dont know if thats enough recovery time

jg said...
Oct 18, 2008, 3:19:00 PM  

i'm pretty sure tim brando just said "rutgers gets their first win over a FCS team"

they beat uconn

wishmewell said...
Oct 18, 2008, 3:28:00 PM  

Sorry about the misidentification of Lamb. I got the game through Comcast Sportsnet Philadelphia, so I wasn't familiar with the voices and seeing as I missed the beginning of the game, I got the names from AA's roster posted on Tuesday. My bad.

JFein said...
Oct 18, 2008, 3:31:00 PM  

"Can Ohio State win the Big Ten with a rookie quarterback? That QB is Bea.....Terrelle Pryor" - Bob Griese appearently confusing Beanie Wells with Terrelle Pryor.

JFein said...
Oct 18, 2008, 3:34:00 PM  

"Ahmad Ringer, I think he's got soul and a soldier" - Brad Nessler after they played the Killers' song with that line in it ("I soul but I'm not a soldier")

JFein said...
Oct 18, 2008, 3:36:00 PM  

OK, it's Ole Miss-Alabama on CBS. Who thinks Gary is under orders not to point out John Parker Wilson's hot momma?

Signal to Noise said...
Oct 18, 2008, 3:39:00 PM  

I wonder if Danielson had a staffer locate where John Parker Wilson's mom is

jg said...
Oct 18, 2008, 3:42:00 PM  

He's got a long way to go, and a short time to get there", Brad Nessler referring to Ringer on the screen pass.

Anonymous said...
Oct 18, 2008, 3:45:00 PM  

I'm pretty sure I heard him say Ahmad....

JFein said...
Oct 18, 2008, 3:48:00 PM  

Tracy Wolfson better be careful, Lundquist said Joe Namath was there

jg said...
Oct 18, 2008, 3:49:00 PM  

I'm pretty sure I heard him say Ahmad....

And yes the song is called "All the Things that I've Done", I was just quoting the line of the song.

JFein said...
Oct 18, 2008, 3:50:00 PM  

"Kansas trying to feed you what OU feeds you." - Ed Cunningham on Kansas runiing a hurry up offense

jg said...
Oct 18, 2008, 3:51:00 PM  

JFein - oh, totally understood. I just wanted to put the name of the song in there too.

Signal to Noise said...
Oct 18, 2008, 3:56:00 PM  

"He's trying to get to the right comfort letter" - Tracy Wolfson, she corrected herself and said level on an Ole Miss player's trying to find the right shoes.

jg said...
Oct 18, 2008, 4:07:00 PM  

"A lot of people call him (Pete Carroll) the prince of Los Angeles" Petros Papadakis

bspn said...
Oct 18, 2008, 4:13:00 PM  

"He's lobbying to get back in the game" - Jack Arute on an injured Oklahoma player trying to get back in the game.

"They are the most powerful creatures in the countrty today, lobbyists" - Ron Franklin



"there is a large shadow in front of me" - Ron Franklin on the OU center's possible reaction to Kansas's 340 lb nose tackle

jg said...
Oct 18, 2008, 4:13:00 PM  

"They're offense always scores a little more than the defense gives up." Petros Papadakis

bspn said...
Oct 18, 2008, 4:14:00 PM  

Michigan State is right on time for their annual midseason collapse.

Anonymous said...
Oct 18, 2008, 4:18:00 PM  

A kid at the Washington State game was wearing a shirt that said "Michael Vick should have used Huskies"

bspn said...
Oct 18, 2008, 4:21:00 PM  

ESPN on ABC is showing great creativity by once again playing "All The Things that I've Done" and the same line of "I got soul, but I'm not a soldier"...

JFein said...
Oct 18, 2008, 4:24:00 PM  

"If you run for the endzone, a lot of time, you score" Petros Papadakis.

bspn said...
Oct 18, 2008, 4:25:00 PM  

"He is your new toy, dont wear him out" - Ed Cunningham on the increased role of OU's 240 lb fullback. Isnt 240 light for a fullback these days ?

jg said...
Oct 18, 2008, 4:30:00 PM  

"Do you think he (Mark Sanchez) has trouble getting dates?" Barry Tompkins.

bspn said...
Oct 18, 2008, 4:34:00 PM  

"A catch by Smelley, whose brother Chris is the sometime starter at South Carolina" - Lundquist taking a swipe at the Ole Ball Coach

jg said...
Oct 18, 2008, 4:37:00 PM  

"When he is in the open field, I don't think there is anyone who can bring him down." Bob Griese about Terrelle Pryor as he is tackled in the open field by a single guy.

Anonymous said...
Oct 18, 2008, 4:40:00 PM  

"Northwestern beat Purdue sad to say" - Lundquist getting a dig in at Danielson

jg said...
Oct 18, 2008, 4:46:00 PM  

"I'm texting him right now; they call me the ole textoso!" Petros Papadakis

bspn said...
Oct 18, 2008, 4:51:00 PM  

"Now the officials say it's Kansas basketball." - Ron Franklin

Anonymous said...
Oct 18, 2008, 4:52:00 PM  

Verne just dropped it, but if I NEVER hear the term "trickeration"
ever again, it will be too soon.

God what a stupid announcer cliche.


#2 - for example, 1:30 remains on the game clock. Calling this "A Buck Thirty to play". Nevermind the difference between 60 seconds in a minute and 100 cents in a buck....yuck.

/end rant

Anonymous said...
Oct 18, 2008, 4:53:00 PM  

"My favorite part of the day" - Ed
Cunningham after Franklin reads the trivia question. No cheating yet.

jg said...
Oct 18, 2008, 4:53:00 PM  

"Royster breaks free. Heading to the endzone. One man to catch him and he won't" - Sean McDonough. He said that last sentence as Royster was crossing the goalline and the guy behind him that had a chance of catching him was at least 5 yards behind him.

JFein said...
Oct 18, 2008, 5:04:00 PM  

"You know it's a good hit when the running back goes backwards" - Chris Spielman

Actually you know it's a good hit when the running back falls down.

JFein said...
Oct 18, 2008, 5:07:00 PM  

"I thought golf was a good walk spolied" - Jack Arute channeling Mark Twain.

"Those muscles help him get 300 yd drives" - Ed Cunningham, after some random discussion about OU QB Sam Bradford being an avid golfer, and how the muscles in his chest help his throwing motion and swing.

jg said...
Oct 18, 2008, 5:16:00 PM  

S2N, in response to your rhetorical question regarding Syracuse alums in broadcasting...you do know that SU is one of the tops in the nation for broadcasting in general, with sports obviously high up on the list.

Costas, Marv Albert, Stockton, Tirico are just the tip of the iceberg.

GRobs PR Guy said...
Oct 18, 2008, 5:24:00 PM  

"[Rich Rodriguez's] shoes aren't as expensive as yours, though" - Sean McDonough to Rod Stone. Stoner was explaining how RichRod uses his feet to call a play and Stoner was demonstrating by crossing his feet as the camera panned down to his shoes.

JFein said...
Oct 18, 2008, 5:24:00 PM  

"If you got a hot hand, ride it!" Ed Cunnigham.

fairplay said...
Oct 18, 2008, 5:25:00 PM  

"he wants to have a practice that means something. Shame on him." - Ed Cunningham on Kansas basketball coach Jeff Capel not having a Midnight Madness event. I think Cunningham was being sarcastic.

Also, Kansas WR Devon Briscoe has 193 yds receiving in the first half. They just said that would be good enough for the fifth highest full game total in Kansas history

jg said...
Oct 18, 2008, 5:27:00 PM  

Is it just me or does Mangino look especially heavy today?

fairplay said...
Oct 18, 2008, 5:28:00 PM  

Gary D: "We're gonna test that cart" - as Terrence Cody was about to be taken off the field on a medical golf cart.

Mal said...
Oct 18, 2008, 5:30:00 PM  

Chris S.: "Mark that down that may make a difference" - after a struggling Penn St. missed a FG attempt. Really? Losing out on three points might be important in a tackle football game?

Mal said...
Oct 18, 2008, 5:38:00 PM  

Before the 2nd down throw on the last Michigan drive, they showed a shot of RichRod, and the backup QB was sending in a signal that looked like he was smoking a joint.
That would explain a lot.

Oct 18, 2008, 5:41:00 PM  

I just saw the USC score. When does the mercy rule kick in ?

jg said...
Oct 18, 2008, 5:42:00 PM  

grobs pr guy - Yeah, I know....but the reach is startling sometimes.

Signal to Noise said...
Oct 18, 2008, 5:49:00 PM  

@ jg: Oy ve....and USC just got an interception and have the ball inside the red zone.

JFein said...
Oct 18, 2008, 5:57:00 PM  

Verne, as the refs were marking the ball after a 3rd and short play by Ole Miss: "The yellow line is not official". First time I've heard that one before.

Mal said...
Oct 18, 2008, 5:57:00 PM  

I think it was Ron Franklin after OU was flagged on kickoff return. "I believe they will get Oklahoma for cheating."

RockchalkJayhawk said...
Oct 18, 2008, 6:13:00 PM  

"Hello anybody home ?" - Ron Franklin after Kansas scores a rushing TD up the middle with no OU player in sight.

jg said...
Oct 18, 2008, 6:14:00 PM  

"Lets be a little careful with those open microphones " - Ron Franklin after KU coach Mangino is shown yelling at a player who comitted a 15 yd penalty

jg said...
Oct 18, 2008, 6:17:00 PM  

"He's my top performer of the week because he ate a 20 lb. hamburger and he's only 5'11" 180." -Nessler
"How much weight did he gain?" -Griese
"About 20 lbs." -Nessler

Anonymous said...
Oct 18, 2008, 6:22:00 PM  

"Theyre 0 for 5 on 3rd down" - ron Franklin
"I dont think theyll get this one either" - Ed Cunningham. It was
3rd and 19.

jg said...
Oct 18, 2008, 6:23:00 PM  

"He got shallacked" - Sean McDonough

JFein said...
Oct 18, 2008, 6:31:00 PM  

"Here are the possessions of Alabama so far in the 2nd half: Punt, Punt, Interception, Fumble, Punt, and no thats not a rap song."

Verne Lundquist

fairplay said...
Oct 18, 2008, 6:32:00 PM  

"[Kevin Kelly] gets good heighth on [his field goal kicks]" - Chris Spielman

Heighth: Not a word in the English dictionary

JFein said...
Oct 18, 2008, 6:37:00 PM  

"He looked like the first guy out to practice" - Ron Franklin on OU player Gresham was wide open for a pass.

jg said...
Oct 18, 2008, 6:39:00 PM  

"He had a world of time to throw." -Terry Gannon

On an unrelated note, YEAH TERPS.
As heard in the press box:
First shut-out of a ranked team since 1955.

Bazooka Jones said...
Oct 18, 2008, 6:39:00 PM  

Also, the Maryland linebacker whose name sounds like "Wo-jack" is actually spelled Wujciak.

Bazooka Jones said...
Oct 18, 2008, 6:42:00 PM  

Bazooka

On the jersey, it looked like Wojack, maybe someone made a mistake putting the name on the jersey.

jg said...
Oct 18, 2008, 6:46:00 PM  

"If Sams like me, he could be falling asleep, I mean this sucker has been going on for awhile."

Ron "The Old Man" Franklin, clearly not enjoying a great offensive game.

fairplay said...
Oct 18, 2008, 6:51:00 PM  

"They put up like a million yards" - Rece Davis, channeling his inner Tony Kornheiser

JFein said...
Oct 18, 2008, 6:53:00 PM  

"Put some Bengay on it".
Speilman after Stone reported on injuried Michigan QB.

Anonymous said...
Oct 18, 2008, 6:55:00 PM  

USC 69, Washington State 0.

Holy shit....

JFein said...
Oct 18, 2008, 6:56:00 PM  

@fairplay

Yea when did the Big 12 become an outdoor version of the Arena League ?

jg said...
Oct 18, 2008, 6:57:00 PM  

"Go for it. You got 'em on the ropes. Knock 'em out". - Chris Spielman giving advice to Penn State that one would normally hear at a boxing match.

JFein said...
Oct 18, 2008, 6:58:00 PM  

FYI, that Rece Davis quote was him talking about the Kansas-Oklahoma game.

JFein said...
Oct 18, 2008, 6:59:00 PM  

"About the only way to stop these is to get players who start on Sunday across the board." - Ed Cunningham saying you need an NFL defense to stop a Big 12 offense

jg said...
Oct 18, 2008, 7:02:00 PM  

No doubt JG. One wideout had 200 yards with 2:00 minutes left in the first half. Who knows how many yards Texas and Missouri will put up tonight.

fairplay said...
Oct 18, 2008, 7:05:00 PM  

I think anonymous 4:21 PM needs to be deleted.

BTW, who wants to wager that College Gameday goes to Columbus next week? The Ohio State University and The Pennsylvania State university have opened up the cans of whoopass on The Michigan State University and The University of Michigan.

JamesCraven said...
Oct 18, 2008, 7:07:00 PM  

"1st and goal at the one foot line" - The referee of the Michigan-Penn State game who appearently is not aware of how a football field is set up....

JFein said...
Oct 18, 2008, 7:10:00 PM  

Referee on the Michigan-Penn State game:

"The ball will be on the one foot yard line..."

JamesCraven said...
Oct 18, 2008, 7:10:00 PM  

Petros Papadakis was talking about texting D'Marco Farr and Michael Eaves in the studio.

bspn said...
Oct 18, 2008, 7:11:00 PM  

"Worst. Tent. Ever. Seriously." - Rob Stone upon seeing the tent he was going to sleep in in Paternoville. That was a great segment; it may be worth a video.

JFein said...
Oct 18, 2008, 7:14:00 PM  

"Wherever these guys are going to dinner, you either dont need reservations or they are later." - Ron Franklin on the officiating crew's dinner plans.

I think Franklin has somewhere he needs to be with the comments on the game length.

jg said...
Oct 18, 2008, 7:14:00 PM  

"Prevent defense prevents you from winning!" James Washington

bspn said...
Oct 18, 2008, 7:16:00 PM  

More fun with Stoner in Paternoville. Stoner was holding up a paper with a lot of numbers on it and afterwards Spielman replied, "Rob was trying to figure out the BCS formula". Classic.

JFein said...
Oct 18, 2008, 7:16:00 PM  

"This game will allow one team to get a conference victory." David Diaz-Infante, as the SEC game between Arkansas and Kentucky begins. (Thanks Captain Obvious)

fairplay said...
Oct 18, 2008, 7:18:00 PM  

"I don't recall a team starting out so poorly and turning it around so much like Virginia has this year" - Chris Spielman who appearently forgets about Michigan last year.

JFein said...
Oct 18, 2008, 7:21:00 PM  

Yeah JG, I think it's past Franklin's bedtime.

fairplay said...
Oct 18, 2008, 7:23:00 PM  

"Coach Tressel has played a lot of things close to the chest, no pun intended" - Chris Spielman

I think that pun was intended. If no other reason because I have not heard the expression "close to the chest" before...

JFein said...
Oct 18, 2008, 7:24:00 PM  

"When you're handing out flyers saying come on and play quarterback for us..." - Chris Spielman on Washington State losing 66-0 to USC.

JFein said...
Oct 18, 2008, 7:25:00 PM  

"After playing so well this week against Michigan State, I expect Ohio State to play their best game of the year next year, er, next week against Penn State" - Chris "I have absolutely no bias whatsoever" Spielman

JFein said...
Oct 18, 2008, 7:28:00 PM  

"It's really not a lack of effort, just a lack of talent" - Sean McDonough on Michigan.

Ouch. Can't say I disagree though...

JFein said...
Oct 18, 2008, 7:44:00 PM  

jg

Trust me, I wouldn't lie to ya. I work in the Maryland Athletic Department- his name is Wujciak.

Also, the photo of the real life Rudy on the linemen's shoulders... One of the linemen is Alex Wujciak's dad. (Yeah, random, I know.)

Bazooka Jones said...
Oct 18, 2008, 7:45:00 PM  

"Heyward-Bey has been M.I.I. the last few weeks."
-Chris Miller on the Terps highlight during Caps intermission

Bazooka Jones said...
Oct 18, 2008, 7:47:00 PM  

"Look for turnovers [in the Mizzou-Texas game]. Chase Daniel threw 3 interceptions last week. Colt McCoy is good doesn't throw picks. Look for him to protect the ball" - Mark May, contradicting himself.

JFein said...
Oct 18, 2008, 7:52:00 PM  

I am so sorry everyone. I made a terrible mistake. I said the score of the USC-Wash. St. game was 66-0. I was wrong. It was 69-0.

JFein said...
Oct 18, 2008, 7:54:00 PM  

"The last time Missouri won in Austin was in 1896. Now I know what you're thinking Kirk, I was not the play by play man for that game." - Brent Musberger

JFein said...
Oct 18, 2008, 8:03:00 PM  

Bazooka

I dont doubt you, I was just saying what it looked like on TV. They were quick shots of the jersey, and its possible I didnt see all the letters.

jg said...
Oct 18, 2008, 8:25:00 PM  

Four play of awfulness tonight:

Musberger/Herbstreit,Patrick/Blackledge, Jones/Davie and Joe Benninati on VS covering Oregon St @ Washington

jg said...
Oct 18, 2008, 8:29:00 PM  

Holly is talking about the trainer making bats. Who gives a flying fuck? This has nothing to do with the game

Anonymous said...
Oct 18, 2008, 8:34:00 PM  

"You're right, I think the butterflies are all gone" - Mike Patrick

Todd's Taste of the Town is next...

JFein said...
Oct 18, 2008, 8:45:00 PM  

"It's actually nice to see him in a place that doesn't have a garden hose to wash it was down" - Mike Patrick

"It's nice to see you in a place that's a little more upscale" - Mike Patrick showing concerns for the health of Todd Blackledge

JFein said...
Oct 18, 2008, 8:49:00 PM  

"You can tell that Garcia is one of those guys with a short clock in his head. He goes 1, 2, I gotta get out of here" - Mike Patrick

JFein said...
Oct 18, 2008, 8:51:00 PM  

"He rode the receiver right out of bounds" - Mike Patrick

Nice to know.....

JFein said...
Oct 18, 2008, 8:52:00 PM  

USC kicks a tieing FG
"Cocky's happy" while showing a roaster on the sideline.
Actually, no Mike. That's Sir Big Spur. Cocky is the mascot in the chicken suit.

Anonymous said...
Oct 18, 2008, 8:57:00 PM  

jfein

I dont think fried shrimp and sausage with grits and gravy is exactly healthy.


"Cocky is happy" - Mike Patrick after a shot of a live gamecock, tied @ 3 end of 1st. How dump / delay buttons do they use for a South Carolina game ? I'm surprised Patrick could say that.

jg said...
Oct 18, 2008, 8:59:00 PM  

"If this was a fight they would stop it on cuts." - Rece Davis channeling Billy Packer while updating Mizzou-Texas, after Texas scores its 3rd TD with 12 min left in 2nd qtr.

jg said...
Oct 18, 2008, 9:13:00 PM  

"Tyson Chandler has been passing under pressure all game." - Pat Ryan referring to Mississippi State QB, Tyson Lee, in the 2nd Qtr.

Anonymous said...
Oct 18, 2008, 10:10:00 PM  

It wouldn't be the Pammies without the obligatory Mark Jones corny remark. He said this one in reference to Colt McCoy and Texas beating up on his buddy Chase Daniel and Mizzou:

"That's why they call it show business, and not show friends."

Anonymous said...
Oct 18, 2008, 10:42:00 PM  

bspn wins the Rudy Martzke Memorial All-Cliche Team Award.

JamesCraven said...
Oct 18, 2008, 10:54:00 PM  

Anytime South Carolina's on TV, it's perfectly okay to say "Cocks." ;)

JamesCraven said...
Oct 18, 2008, 10:58:00 PM  

Mike Patrick, after a Kenny McKinley catch where the ball nearly hit the ground before the catch:

"If the ball hits the ground, by rule it's incomplete."

Thanks, Mike.

BCS-Sucks said...
Oct 18, 2008, 11:04:00 PM  

"Rich Rodriquez will be a teacher long before he is the CEO of Michigan" -Andre Ware, after a discussion on coaches being teachers

Huh? The CEO of Michigan?

Dave said...
Oct 19, 2008, 1:27:00 AM  

Eli Gold: On Alabama-Ole Miss game (radio), "John Parker Wilson, hit like a pinata and sacked." Joe Namath was also in the Alabama booth yesterday, as he had a guest appearance.

Joe said...
Oct 19, 2008, 10:18:00 AM  

"Boy if they (Florida) go undefeated, watch out...."- Gary Danielson about Tim Tebow's chances of winning the Heisman this season

Maybe Gary forgot but Florida lost a few weeks ago in a game that he called


"This Ole Miss team defeated Florida a few weeks ago in the Swamp. This same Ole Miss team went to Baton Rouge last year and beat LSU in triple overtime."

Last year's contest was at Ole Miss and LSU won 41-24

lsutigerfan19 said...
Oct 20, 2008, 3:52:00 AM  

"This Ole Miss team defeated Florida a few weeks ago in the Swamp. This same Ole Miss team went to Baton Rouge last year and beat LSU in triple overtime."- Verne Lundquist on Ole Miss

Last year's contest was at Ole Miss and LSU won 41-24

lsutigerfan19 said...
Oct 20, 2008, 3:56:00 AM  

Has Pam Ward put her fondness for "gaping holes" behind her, or has it just been a while since she was assigned to a Wisconsin O vs. Indiana D match-up. "A huge hole, a gaping hole!" Pam doin' porn in front of millions!

Anonymous said...
Oct 24, 2008, 1:06:00 PM  

Post a Comment