The Pam Ward Chronicles: Week 9

Saturday, October 25, 2008



Time for another installment!

Your College Football Announcing Schedule For Week Nine


Let's get started.

"Kansas, right back in this football game." - Andre Ware, after Kansas ties it up. They were only down 7-0 before.

"It's like an Arena Football game, whoever gets the most stops wins." - Dave Pasch

That's not fair to college football, comparing it to the AFL.

"You need a need a short term memory and a resume at the ready."- Rob Stone talking about Big 12 defensive coordinators (via JG)

"He could roll right off the field and into a Halloween party." - Andre Ware, on Tech's Brandon Carter, who wears Mankind make-up under his helmet.

He's dialing up diamonds right now." - Doc Walker on the BC offensive coordinator, BC took the opening drive for a FG. (Via JG)

"You're asking me to remember what happened last week. I can't remember what's going on right now." - Andre Ware, after being asked a question (via RockChalkJayhawk)

"The Badgers with the lead." - Pam Ward, going into commercial, as Illinois is up 7-3. (via StalkingErinAndrews)

"He had too many Wheaties for breakfast" - Doc Walker on a high snap by BC's center (via JG)

"Our AFLAC trivia question, who is the second youngest head coach in FBS?" - Pam Ward
"Let me look in my crystal ball." - Ray Bentley
"And that's the answer...Mario Cristobal." - Pam Ward<

"He's tough to bring down at 214 yds." - Dave Pasch on TX Tech WR Michael Crabtree (via JG)

"That is definitely college football right there." - Andre Ware as the camera man zooms in under a cheerleader who is being held in the air (via Fairplay)

"Nothing is as good as it seems, nothing is as bad as it seems, reality lies somewhere right in the middle." - Lou Holtz, waxing philosophical.

"They've got blankets and comforters out there." - Doc Walker on the coverage of UNC's DBs (via JG)

"Minnesota on the road at Ross-Aide Stadium. For the Boilermakers, it's been more like First Aid Stadium." - Rece Davis, via Tas, who notes he's used this one two or three times so far.

"That's a big hit by Curry in the secondary!" - Dave Armstrong after a sack by Wake Forest LB Aaron Curry (via Anon)

"That's a maintenance pass right there." - Kelly Stouffer after Nebraska completes a pass for first down (via JG)

"They're going to have to sell out against Graham Harrell. You are dying a slow death, but it's death nonetheless." - Andre Ware

"43 yard run by Marve, now the Canes are in marvelous shape." - Dave Armstrong (via Gangsta D)

"[Illinois hasn't] found that back with a hot hand, who can take it out the other end so far today." - Ray Bentley (via Jim). That's kinda gross.

"What are you gonna be for Halloween?" - Doc Walker
"Myself. I'll scare everyone." - Steve Martin (via JG)

"If football doesn't work out for Brandon Carter, and he doesn't wind up playing on Sundays, I got a career for him." - Andre Ware, suggesting the pro-wrestler track yet again.

"You know he's not going to allow the punter to miss him in space." - Dave Lapham, after OU returns a punt for a TD, after the punter whiffs on a tackle. (via mreleganza)

"Hey there, how you' doin'? When did you cut bait on the game?" - Rob Stone
"We left at about halftime." - KU Fan #1
"Way to show support for the team. So, are you looking forward to basketball?" - Rob Stone
"Basketball season can't come soon enough." - KU Fan #2

"Some people are going back. Where are you guys headed?" - Stone
"To drink some beers." - KU Fan #3
"Oh...are we allowed to talk about that or are we going back to the game?" - Stone

"We're about to get Who-concerted out here." - Rob Stone

"Who is this guy over here your husband or your boyfriend?" - Rob Stone
"Boyfriend." - Kansas girl
"So you're saying there's a chance?" - Stone (via Charlie)

What, Heather Mills and Julie Foudy feeling up on him during soccer telecasts isn't enough for you, Rob?

"We're actually double-fisting on Kansas and Texas Tech over here." - Stone (via Tas)

"Chris Crane looking for a friend on the sidelines" - Steve Martin on the BC QB after his third interception, which was run back for a TD (via JG)

"You asked (Central Michigan HC) Butch Jones at halftime about simply lathering up the hot ball carrier." - Michael Reghi, via mreleganza

"When you're up 63 my friend..." - Andre Ware talking when the score is 63-21 (via Anon)

"Time to put some clean uniforms in. Their motors will be running to get some stats." - Doc Walker on UNC substituting up 45-17 with 6 minutes left in 4th

"This is when 5-9 is a disadvantage. 6-5 blocks the sun out." - Doc Walker on the height difference between a UNC DB and BC WR.

JG is now our official Doc Walker Ambassador. He's doing a service for those of us too cheap to cough up for GamePlan.

Also, I'd like to raise a middle finger to ABC because instead of OK State-Texas, I've got UCLA vs. Cal. Oof.

"When you watch Tiger Woods, you're in awe of what he can do with a seven-iron. Watching Matthew Stafford from up here, he's head and shoulders above most college quarterbacks." - Gary Danielson

"That's lazy defense. That's stuff you do in practice. Asher Allen can't do that on third and long." - Gary Danielson, after a flag gets thrown for what looked like PI, but it was picked up.

"Andre Brown hits a stone wall there. It was mano against mano in there." - nameless sideline hack at NC State/MD game, via Anon (I would name him but I can't find that game in AA's schedule)

"Now listen to the crowd. (Quiet). Don't listen to the crowd, they don't follow cues." - Verne Lundquist, after a near INT by LSU.

"[Garth Brooks] has retired more than Muhammad Ali" - Brad Nessler on Garth Brooks
"As long as he keeps singing" - Bob Griese
"He'll sing once a year and everyone is happy" - Nessler (via JFein)

"There's a shot of Norm Chow's forehead."-David Norrie (via 49er16)

"He's 20 out of 22, with one pass dropped. It's sometimes hard to do that playing catch on the backyard." - Brad Nessler

After they showed a stat of how McCoy has not thrown an INT at home this year, Nessler says "And he won't on this play either". That play was a running play. - JFein


"He's got arms down to his knees, and big hands." - Griese on OK St WR Dez Bryant (via JG)

"Knowshon Moreno, he's like a karate expert or something. He uses your force and pings off it." - Gary Danielson

"No more playing it safe! You got to go for it here" - Gary Danielson (before a 3rd and 11) (via Joe)

"As [Quan Crosby] went to the huddle, he said I lost it in the sun. He made such a beautiful catch, though. I don't think he lost it in the sun." - Paul Maguire, who apparently knows more than the receiver who made the TD catch and would know if he lost it for a bit on the sun. And looking at the replay, you could tell he was struggling to find the ball in the sun. (Via JFein)

"Remember, the ground can cause an incompletion."- Ed Cunningham, during a replay review of a completed pass. (Via Ted, who adds a "no shit" for good measure)

Have to make a shopping run. Keep leaving the good stuff!

-----

OK, back in.

"He looks a little hot." - Terry Gannon referring to UCLA coach Rick Neuheisel (via 49er16)

"(LSU quarterback) Lee has thrown two touchdowns...the first was returned for a touchdown on the very first play of the game."- Verne Lundquist (via LSUTigerFan19, who notes that the first one was a pick six)

"Oklahoma State has how many rush yards in the first half, 111 yards per carry?" - Doug Flutie, via Anon

"Oklahoma State, winless." - John Saunders, who corrected himself after that (via SSReporters)

"Down goes Frazier!" as Brandon Minor pancake blocks a defensive end on a Michigan sweep. - Chris Spielman (via Anon)

"He Heisman'ed the umpire to get the extra yards!" Chris Spielman referring to Michigan quarterback Threet using a stiffarm on the Umpire on a draw play (via Anon)

"This is the largest crowd to ever watch a football game in Texas. And they do everything big in Texas so that's saying a lot." - Brad Nessler (via JFein)

Still very pissed that I couldn't watch that game on TV.

"Are those fans saying anything to you as you block their view of the game?" - Bob Griese
"No, they like it, they really like it. They love staring at the back of my head" - Paul Maguire (via JFein)

"He was a general today" - Trev Alberts on Navy player Brian Dobbs who had 4 TDs and over 200 yds rushing (via JG, who notes that the top rank in the Navy is admiral, not general)

"I dont know who's happier, Mr or Mrs Stafford. If that keeps up there might be a little Matthew coming." - Gary Danielson after a shot showing them celebrating a good play by Georgia.

AWK-WARD. More so than pointing out John Parker Wilson's hot momma.

"Still number one by an eyelash." - Brad Nessler, via JFein

"Look at all those empty seats. It's like a Kurt Gibson homerun." - Gary Danielson (via JFein, did he actually say "Kurt" instead of "Kirk"? I was out.)

"When that collection plate comes around, you better put some cash in!" - Chris Spielman, talking about Javon Ringer's parents (Dad is a pastor, Mom a black belt in karate), via Anon

"If you scraped the cheese off those vegetables, I'd just eat the cheese." - Mike Patrick, after Todd's Taste of the Town sent us to a steakhouse, with a 20-oz strip and sides of potatoes and broccoli casserole.

(Todd also loses my respect by ordering his steak well done. Be a man and order it bloody!)

"This is why going for it on 4th Down is a terrible idea when you fail. You turn the ball over." -Doug Chapman during the Toledo-Central Michigan game

"Alabama rolling over the Volunteers of Texas 22-3." - Wendi Nix

"These balls are coming out in a few seconds!"- Brad Nessler

Posted by Signal to Noise at 12:00 PM

134 Comments:

LeBron stinks as an analyst.

http://globalhawkeyenation.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...
Oct 25, 2008, 12:05:00 PM  

Not a quote but what about the fact that I can't see Texas/OSU today because ABC is showing V Tech FSU!!!! I imagine large parts of the country can't see the here-to-fore best game of the year! ABC has the rights to too many games and can't show them all. I can watch Kansas St. OU but not OSU Texas? So horrible. (I have direct tv with full sports package and cant get the game)

Colt McCoy said...
Oct 25, 2008, 12:08:00 PM  

It would have been great if LeBron picked Penn State over OSU. He already picked against the Browns and Indians for more popular teams over the past year.

Anonymous said...
Oct 25, 2008, 12:11:00 PM  

"You need a need a short term memory and a resume at the ready"- Rob Stone talking about Big 12 defensive coordinators

jg said...
Oct 25, 2008, 12:15:00 PM  

"He's dialing up diamonds right now" - Doc Walker on the BC offensive coordinator, BC took the opening drive for a FG

"Perfect no hitters" - Doc Walker on the lack of blocking by BC's WRs on a QB bootleg

jg said...
Oct 25, 2008, 12:24:00 PM  

Technically Ohio State has a larger fanbase, so he did pick the team that benefits him the most

Anonymous said...
Oct 25, 2008, 12:25:00 PM  

Ron Dayne looks like a homeless man.

Anonymous said...
Oct 25, 2008, 12:27:00 PM  

who won the week 8 pammy?

Anonymous said...
Oct 25, 2008, 12:31:00 PM  

"they needed this like a duck needs water." - Doc Walker after UNC completes third down pass for first dow. UNC trails 10-0.

jg said...
Oct 25, 2008, 12:34:00 PM  

Andre Ware, after being asked a question, "You're asking me to remember what happened last week. I can't remember what's going on right now."

RockchalkJayhawk said...
Oct 25, 2008, 12:44:00 PM  

Pam Ward, going into commercial - "The Badgers with the lead." Um, Illinois is up 7-3

Oct 25, 2008, 12:52:00 PM  

anon, I know the Buckeyes have a larger fanbase and it would benefit him to align himself with them. I was thinking of more pissing off the Ohio sports fans if he chose Penn State like when he picked the Yanks and cowboys when they played his hometown teams. But actually, it would have been better if he professed he is a huge Notre Dame football fan.

Anonymous said...
Oct 25, 2008, 12:55:00 PM  

"He's deprived of the crowd noise" - Doc Walker on a UNC WR wating for video review of a TD catch.

"He had too many Wheaties for breakfast" - Doc Walker on a high snap by BC's center

jg said...
Oct 25, 2008, 1:00:00 PM  

Whomever is the clown doing color on the NW-Indiana game.

"If I'm Pat Fitzgerald, I take the points."

This is after Indiana got called for leaping on the made NW field goal.

The penalty result is half the distance to the goal and an automatic first down. And this idiot wanted to keep the FG.

Anonymous said...
Oct 25, 2008, 1:03:00 PM  

Let's try this interaction between ray and pam....

Pam: Our AFLAC trivia question, who is the second youngest head coach in FBS?

Ray: Let me look in my crystal ball

Pat: And that's the answer...Mario Cristoball

......

JUST AWFUL

Matt said...
Oct 25, 2008, 1:06:00 PM  

"He's tough to bring down at 214 yds" - Dave Pasch on TX Tech WR Michael Crabtree

jg said...
Oct 25, 2008, 1:08:00 PM  

Who won week 8? Results?

fairplay said...
Oct 25, 2008, 1:11:00 PM  

"That didn't take any time at all, to rule that it was a completed pass." Pam Ward, after the referee announced that the ruling was being challenged, and was on his way to the review booth.

Oct 25, 2008, 1:12:00 PM  

Can't tell you who won week 8, I've got no access to the votes. AA might have forgotten last week's winner post.

Signal to Noise said...
Oct 25, 2008, 1:13:00 PM  

"That is definately college football right there." Andre Ware as the camera man zooms in under a cheerleader who is being held in the air.

fairplay said...
Oct 25, 2008, 1:13:00 PM  

most of these are pretty funny, but Pam's are just sad? how did she get this job???

Anonymous said...
Oct 25, 2008, 1:21:00 PM  

"They've got blankets and comforters out there" - Doc Walker on the coverage of UNC's DB's

jg said...
Oct 25, 2008, 1:24:00 PM  

Charissa Thompson has gone blonde again on BTN. Can't she make up her mind???

Anonymous said...
Oct 25, 2008, 1:29:00 PM  

JG - is there anything we can do to get ESPN to give Doc a contract? This stuff is too good (bad?) to limit to regional.

Signal to Noise said...
Oct 25, 2008, 1:36:00 PM  

But I like the AFL...

And wow, first time I ever really paid attention to these quotes, and it makes me wonder if announcing was always this odd, or if it is just a "rose colored glasses" sort of thing.

Talon Lardner said...
Oct 25, 2008, 1:37:00 PM  

S2N

I dont know, but if that happens the name of this post might have to cahnge. Imagine pairing him with Pam Ward.

jg said...
Oct 25, 2008, 1:38:00 PM  

"We have to play better defense. We're not slowing them down."- Kansas coach Mangino to Rob Stone at halftime.

Captain Obvious has arrived

jg said...
Oct 25, 2008, 1:44:00 PM  

Dave Armstrong after a sack by Wake Forest LB Aaron Curry - "That's a big hit by Curry in the secondary!"

Anonymous said...
Oct 25, 2008, 1:49:00 PM  

"that's a maintenance pass right there." - Kelly Stouffer after Nebraska completes a pass for first down

jg said...
Oct 25, 2008, 1:50:00 PM  

"Minnesota on the road at Ross-Aide Stadium. For the Boilermakers, it's been more like First Aid Stadium." - Rece Davis

He's said it about two or three times since noon, lol.

TAS said...
Oct 25, 2008, 1:51:00 PM  

"43 yard run by Marve, now the Canes are in marvelous shape." Dave Armstrong

Gangsta D said...
Oct 25, 2008, 1:57:00 PM  

I know someone at the WWL favors field level shots of football plays, but this is at least the third kickoff at TX Tech - Kansas that they've done it. If any play should use the high top of the satdium shot, its a kickoff.

Please stop ESPN

jg said...
Oct 25, 2008, 2:01:00 PM  

I don't know anout anyone else but my HD feed from Kentucky-Florida has the stadium sound but no announcer audio. It is surprisingly refreshing.

Utkman said...
Oct 25, 2008, 2:03:00 PM  

Did Andre just say "Regis Benn?"

Anonymous said...
Oct 25, 2008, 2:03:00 PM  

Quick stat from the OU-KSU game..Midway through the 2nd quarter, each team is averaging over 10 yards per play. OU just scored to go up 35-28. Again, there is still 6:26 left in the first half!

RockchalkJayhawk said...
Oct 25, 2008, 2:05:00 PM  

"Clint Bowen is playing dial a defense right now"- Andre Ware on KU's Def Coordinator, apparently he's calling wrong numbers

jg said...
Oct 25, 2008, 2:10:00 PM  

"This is against a top 20 team in #23 kansas."-Dave Pasch while talking about Graham Harrell's performance

RockchalkJayhawk said...
Oct 25, 2008, 2:14:00 PM  

Anon, yeah. Andre, for whatever reason, sticks to calling him Regis Benn rather than Arrelious Benn.

Signal to Noise said...
Oct 25, 2008, 2:15:00 PM  

First I was like, this blog is awesome, it criticizes bad announcers. Then it went to pointing out one-line gaffes. Now it's just one-liner non-gaffe jokes. Booooring.

Pam Ward Pwns U Big Time said...
Oct 25, 2008, 2:18:00 PM  

Ray Bentley: [Illinois hasn't] found that back with a hot hand, who can take it out the other end so far today.

Jim said...
Oct 25, 2008, 2:26:00 PM  

Dave Lapham (after a punt return TD): The final miss was the punter. You know he's not going to allow the punter to miss him in space.

mreleganza said...
Oct 25, 2008, 2:31:00 PM  

"I cant say what they really said because my kids are watching." - the sideline reporter at BC / UNC(Its usually Mike Hogewood, but it is not his voice). On the reaction of the BC coaching staff to an interception by their QB.

"He could be subpeonaed for that on the street." - Doc Walker on a hard but clean hit by a UNC DB. The player did a nice job of avoiding helmet to helmet contact.


"What are you gonna be for Halloween ?" - Doc Walker
"Myself I'll scare everyone" - Steve Martin

jg said...
Oct 25, 2008, 2:33:00 PM  

Michael Reghi, to color man Doug Chapman after an Ontario Sneed touchdown:

"You asked (Central Michigan HC) Butch Jones at halftime about simply lathering up the hot ball carrier"

mreleganza said...
Oct 25, 2008, 2:47:00 PM  

It's Scott Pryzwansky for the BC-UNC game.

Joe said...
Oct 25, 2008, 2:47:00 PM  

"This one is not over yet, boys and girls. It is a 3-point game." - Thom Brennaman, with Indiana up 21-19 on Northwestern

TAS said...
Oct 25, 2008, 3:00:00 PM  

"Chris Crane looking for a friend on the sidelines" - Steve Martin on the BC QB after his third interception, which was run back for a TD



"He gets a triple cheeseburger for that one" - Doc Walker on a block by a UNC OL that leads to a TD run

jg said...
Oct 25, 2008, 3:04:00 PM  

"We're actually double-fisting on Kansas and Texas Tech over here." - more Rob Stone hanging out with KU fans

TAS said...
Oct 25, 2008, 3:08:00 PM  

Sorry to rant here but why do kickers not kick a field goal when they are down 10 with 2-3 minutes left on 4th down? They need a FG anyway at some point and they just basically waste time trying to score a TD, time they could have had after getting an onsides kick.

Of course morons like Pam Ward fail to realize this and is insulting America with her dumb commentary.

Anonymous said...
Oct 25, 2008, 3:09:00 PM  

"Who is this guy over here your husband or your boyfriend?" - Rob Stone
"Boyfriend." - Kansas girl
"So you're saying there's a chance?" - Stone

Charlie said...
Oct 25, 2008, 3:09:00 PM  

Ray Bentley with the award for biggest over-analysis ever...

Going crazy when Wisconsin takes a delay of game penalty with 6 seconds left up 10. He fails to realize even if Illinois has Usain Bolt on their team there is no possible way they could score twice in 6 seconds.

Anonymous said...
Oct 25, 2008, 3:13:00 PM  

"time to put some clean uniforms in. Their motors will be running to get some stats" - Doc Walker on UNC substituting up 45-17 with 6 minutes left in 4th

"this is when 5-9 is a disadvantage. 6-5 blocks the sun out" - Doc Walker on the hieght difference between a UNC DB and BC WR.

jg said...
Oct 25, 2008, 3:14:00 PM  

"When you're up 63 my friend..."

- Andre Ware talking when the score is 63-21

Anonymous said...
Oct 25, 2008, 3:17:00 PM  

What is up with ESPN's Scoreboard studio cameramen? They never ever zoom in on Wendi Nix, only on that other doofus sitting next to her. I don't get it.

Anonymous said...
Oct 25, 2008, 3:23:00 PM  

Anon - I understand and sympathize.

Hey Four-Letter, we want to see close-ups of Wendi, not Jesse Palmer.

Signal to Noise said...
Oct 25, 2008, 3:27:00 PM  

S2N

I originally bought GamePlan to keep track of MD since I supposedly moved out of ACC country. I didnt realize the goldmine it would be for this site.

jg said...
Oct 25, 2008, 3:37:00 PM  

So let me get this straight... ESPN won't let Herbstreit make a prediction on the OSU-PSU game because he is calling it later and might appear to be biased. Yet, they allow his four kids to run around in OSU jerseys on the set?

Birdman said...
Oct 25, 2008, 3:46:00 PM  

CBS finally got the right idea with Georgia @ LSU! No announcers at all so far the entire first quarter!!!!

vern lundquiest said...
Oct 25, 2008, 3:47:00 PM  

S2N, right with you on the middle finger to ABC, I ended up with Mich-MichSt (ughh!). At least I get to see EA on the sidelines, albeit all bundled up.

Anonymous said...
Oct 25, 2008, 3:54:00 PM  

"You can tell that's his happy face." - Brad Nessler

JFein said...
Oct 25, 2008, 3:56:00 PM  

Ack! So not only do I not get Texas-OK State, but the debaclers of Nessler, Griese, and Maguire are calling it?

Signal to Noise said...
Oct 25, 2008, 4:02:00 PM  

They just interviewed T. Boone Pickens on the Texas sideline, talking about how great it was for them to be in this situation.

Joe said...
Oct 25, 2008, 4:03:00 PM  

announcer in NC State/Maryland game: "Andre Brown hits a stone wall there. It was mano against e mano in there"

Anonymous said...
Oct 25, 2008, 4:06:00 PM  

A defensive struggle (by Big 12 standards): Nebraska beats Baylor 32-20.

jg said...
Oct 25, 2008, 4:11:00 PM  

Jim Knox, the sideline reporter on Oklahoma/Kansas State, just jumped over three Oklahoma cheerleaders in his suit, and he may have fell. Dave Lapham was comparing him to Nadia Comaneci.

Joe said...
Oct 25, 2008, 4:17:00 PM  

Paul Maguire has Texas and Oklahoma St. eye blacks on the back of his head.

JFein said...
Oct 25, 2008, 4:22:00 PM  

14-0 Texas.

JFein said...
Oct 25, 2008, 4:23:00 PM  

"I didnt see a penalty" - Maguire after a pass interference on OK St
where the DB did not turn around to look for the ball. If he had looked there would be no penalty.


"He's 24 yrs old. Transferred from Harvard and a Mormon mission.It didnt take me three minutes to tell that story" - Lundquist on LSU QB Andew Hatch. Can we get a moratorium on this story for the rest of the year ?

"He's got arms down to his knees, and big hands." - Griese on OK St WR Dez Bryant

jg said...
Oct 25, 2008, 4:30:00 PM  

"And Oklahoma State is right back in the ball game" - Brad Nessler on OSU scoring a TD to make it 14-7. I may be the only one, but are really out of the game only down 14?

"The golden toe for the extra point" - Nessler on the OSU kicker who wears gold shoes.

JFein said...
Oct 25, 2008, 4:34:00 PM  

"[Garth Brooks] has retired more than Muhammad Ali" - Brad Nessler on Garth Brooks
"As long as he keeps singing" - Bob Griese
"He'll sing once a year and everyone is happy" - Nessler

JFein said...
Oct 25, 2008, 4:40:00 PM  

"There's a shot of Norm Chow's forehead."-David Norrie

49er16 said...
Oct 25, 2008, 4:41:00 PM  

"He's 20 out of 22, with one pass dropped. It's sometimes hard to do that playing catch on the backyard." - Brad Nessler

After they showed a stat of how McCoy has not thrown an INT at home this year, Nessler says "And he won't on this play either". That play was a running play.

JFein said...
Oct 25, 2008, 4:44:00 PM  

"As he went to the huddle, he said I lost it in the sun. He made such a beautiful catch, though. I don't think he lost it in the sun." - Paul Maguire, who apparently knows more than the receiver who made the TD catch and would know if he lost it for a bit on the sun. And looking at the replay, you could tell he was struggling to find the ball in the sun.

JFein said...
Oct 25, 2008, 4:47:00 PM  

"No more playing it safe! You got to go for it here" Gary Danielson (before a 3rd and 11)

Joe said...
Oct 25, 2008, 4:48:00 PM  

Also, Rennie Curran "getting the full monty" on this play (when the HB ran through the middle).

Joe said...
Oct 25, 2008, 4:50:00 PM  

FYI, the Texas receiver on my aforementioned play was Quan Cosby.

JFein said...
Oct 25, 2008, 4:50:00 PM  

"Remember, the ground can cause an incompletion."
- Ed Cunningham, during a replay review of a completed pass.

No shit, really?

Ted said...
Oct 25, 2008, 5:00:00 PM  

After Nessler talks about SMU with Craig James beating Teaxs back in the 80's, he says John, Doug and Craig coming up in 25 seconds.

"Nice timing there." - Griese in response, acting like it was a coincidence.

No I'm sure it was planned.

jg said...
Oct 25, 2008, 5:02:00 PM  

Gary Danielson the MORON who is with Vern Linquest on CBS.... GA 21 LSU 7 in the second quarter and the idiot says "Georgia will start playing CONSERVATIVE" ahhhhhhhhhhhhh Then LSU scores to make it 21... 17.. with 3 minutes left in the half. Now 24 17 and then he says "oh maybe Richt will go into the half without scoring." Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Add Gary Danielson

LSU coach is such A bubba.

Oct 25, 2008, 5:04:00 PM  

"He looks a little hot."-Terry Gannon referring to UCLA coach Rick Neuheisel

49er16 said...
Oct 25, 2008, 5:10:00 PM  

"(LSU quarterback) Lee has thrown two touchdowns...the first was returned for a touchdown on the very first play of the game."- Verne Lundquist

I think Ole Vern means he threw two interceptions

lsutigerfan19 said...
Oct 25, 2008, 5:12:00 PM  

"A hush comes over the crowd in Tallahassee. " - Ron Franklin after VA Tech kicks a FG to go up 13-10, the crowd wasnt very loud to begin with

jg said...
Oct 25, 2008, 5:13:00 PM  

Me thinks ABC will be in trouble for not only playing "American Idiot" by Green Day, but they didn't censor the f-bomb dropped in the song.

ssreporters said...
Oct 25, 2008, 5:13:00 PM  

"Oklahoma State has how many rush yards in the first half, 111 yards per carry?" -Doug Flutie

Anonymous said...
Oct 25, 2008, 5:13:00 PM  

"Oklahoma State, winless." - John Saunders, who corrected himself after that.

ssreporters said...
Oct 25, 2008, 5:21:00 PM  

"Neither wind rain or Mustangs can stop Navy" - Tom Hart at the start of 2nd half of SMU-Navy with it raining sideways and Navy leading 27-0.

"you gotta throw it to the guys who are single covered." - Maguire
DUH!

jg said...
Oct 25, 2008, 5:24:00 PM  

"Down goes Frazier!" as Brandon Minor pancake blocks a defensive end on a Michigan sweep. - Chris Spielman

Anonymous said...
Oct 25, 2008, 5:44:00 PM  

"In Rod We Trust" - Sign in the Michigan stands.

Anonymous said...
Oct 25, 2008, 5:47:00 PM  

Inanimate Carbon Rod > RichRod

Oct 25, 2008, 5:58:00 PM  

"He Heisman'ed the umpire to get the extra yards!" Chris Spielman referring to Michigan quarterback Threet using a stiffarm on the Umpire on a draw play.

Anonymous said...
Oct 25, 2008, 6:08:00 PM  

"McCoy has completed a career high 33 passes, and he's not done yet." - Brad Nessler in a 28-24 game with 11 minutes left. The fat that "he's not done yet" is kinda stating the obvious.

"This is the largest crowd to ever watch a football game in Texas. And they do everything big in Texas so that's saying a lot." - Brad Nessler

JFein said...
Oct 25, 2008, 6:11:00 PM  

"Are those fans saying anything to you as you block their view of the game?" - Bob Griese
"No, they like it, they really like it. They love staring at the back of my head" - Paul Maguire

JFein said...
Oct 25, 2008, 6:13:00 PM  

"Sometimes Colt McCoy does it himself in these situations." - Brad Nessler

JFein said...
Oct 25, 2008, 6:19:00 PM  

"He was a general today" - TRev Alberts on Navy player Brian Dobbs who had 4 TDs and over 200 yds rushing.

Uh, Trev given the number of Navy games you cover, you should know theyre called admirals in the Navy.

jg said...
Oct 25, 2008, 6:27:00 PM  

"I dont know whos happier Mr or Mrs Stafford. If that keeps up there might a little Matthew coming." - Danielson after a shot showing them celebrating a good play by Georgia.

No comment on what he thought of Mrs Stafford.

jg said...
Oct 25, 2008, 6:32:00 PM  

This doesn't have anything to do with announcing, but more on the stupidity of Oklahoma State. Why on earth with three timeouts would you go for it on 4th down at their own 30? By failing, they have pretty much gave the game to Texas, whereas if they punted, they might have still had a chance.

JFein said...
Oct 25, 2008, 6:33:00 PM  

That Danielson comment about Stafford's parents was very odd from an announcer on a major network.

Anonymous said...
Oct 25, 2008, 6:35:00 PM  

"Mike Gundy's team needs a touchdown and their 99 yeards and four inches away from it" - Brad Nessler

JFein said...
Oct 25, 2008, 6:39:00 PM  

anon 6:35

I think Daneilson has a thing about the moms of SEC QBs. He made a comment about John Parker Wilson mom a few weeks ago.

jg said...
Oct 25, 2008, 6:41:00 PM  

"Still number one by an eyelash" - Brad Nessler

JFein said...
Oct 25, 2008, 6:42:00 PM  

"Look at all those empty seats. It's like a Kurt Gibson homerun." - Gary Danielson

JFein said...
Oct 25, 2008, 6:48:00 PM  

Tim Brando says in his cut-in: "Zac Robinson looking for his all purpose receiver Dez Bryant downfield...it's knocked away and Texas survives..." while the viewer watches Zac Robinson throw a typical Hail Mary pass into a bunch of receivers and DBs(including, presumably, Dez Bryant)

Jim said...
Oct 25, 2008, 6:49:00 PM  

John saunders just said Texas Tech - Texas will be Saturday night game.

And ESPN / ABC, you have a chance to show the end of another game, you go to Mich St-Mich a 14 pt game, but Va Tech - FSU is a seven point game ?

But there is no agenda in that decision.

jg said...
Oct 25, 2008, 6:50:00 PM  

Referee: "Rutgers has taken its final time out."
Tim Pernetti: "Oh shut up."

Gotta love the Rutgers radio network.

Anonymous said...
Oct 25, 2008, 6:55:00 PM  

ESPN/ABC with an agenda.... never heard of such a thing.

Anonymous said...
Oct 25, 2008, 6:56:00 PM  

Chris Carlin: "There's apparently a TV time-out."
Tim Pernetti: "How can there be a TV time-out with no TV?
Chris Carlin: "With 360 I guess" (ESPN360 is covering the game)
Tim Pernetti: "...That's not TV"

Seriously, Rutgers radio is where it's at. And RU just beat a top 25 team on the road for the first time in 20 years.

Anonymous said...
Oct 25, 2008, 7:00:00 PM  

Chris Spielman, talking about Javon Ringer's parents (Dad is a pastor, Mom a black belt in karate) - "When that collection plate comes around, you better put some cash in!"

Also from Spielman, when the Spartans dumped Gatorade on Mark Dantonio - "That's blue Gatorade. Where's the green Gatorade!?!"

God, I miss the Mark Jones-Spielman pairing.

Anonymous said...
Oct 25, 2008, 7:05:00 PM  

Anonymous said...
"In Rod We Trust" - Sign in the Michigan stands.
----------------------------
Rich Rod or Rod Marinelli?

Either way - FAIL

Anonymous said...
Oct 25, 2008, 7:07:00 PM  

"This is why going for it on 4th Down is a terrible idea when you fail. You turn the ball over." -Doug Chapman during the Toledo-Central Michigan game

Anonymous said...
Oct 25, 2008, 7:32:00 PM  

"A good race, speaking of good races, alot of great races took place at the breeders cup today."- Joel Meyers

Anonymous said...
Oct 25, 2008, 7:36:00 PM  

"Who's happier, Mr. or Mrs. Stafford? One more play like that and there might be another little Mathew on the the way!" Gary Danielson or Lundequist after a big GA gain on a great Stafford pass.

Anonymous said...
Oct 25, 2008, 7:44:00 PM  

@ S2N: He probably did say Kirk. I was trying to type fast before I forgot the quote and must have accidentally typed Kurt, seeing as I already forgot a few today.

Aspeaking of baseball, is there going to be some sort of live blog or open thread tonight, assuming the game is played (which it looks like it will with a delayed start time of 9:30)?

JFein said...
Oct 25, 2008, 7:46:00 PM  

JFein - open thread for baseball coming up at 8:15 or so.

Signal to Noise said...
Oct 25, 2008, 7:53:00 PM  

"I drove here from Kansas City and the colors were just spectacular " - Joel Meyers at Colorado / Missouri, obviously looking for something to talk about since Missouri leads 31-0 at the end of first half.

jg said...
Oct 25, 2008, 8:02:00 PM  

I know this is baseball, but Joe Buck just provided a good one. "I'm not smart enough to figure out what all the green stuff means" - Joe Buck on reading a radar map.

JFein said...
Oct 25, 2008, 8:02:00 PM  

football saturday ruined brent didnt not say "you are looking live" look forward to that all week

mike said...
Oct 25, 2008, 8:19:00 PM  

After Rece Davis cut in and said the World Series was in a rain delay, all the ticker at the bottom for 5 minutes was the game is in a rain delay.

ESPN agenda alert !

jg said...
Oct 25, 2008, 8:25:00 PM  

"World Series still postponed by rain" - Matt Winer.

Notice the word choice....

JFein said...
Oct 25, 2008, 8:31:00 PM  

"He had Norwood, in a hole, wide open." - Brent Musberger giving me a bad mental picture.

JFein said...
Oct 25, 2008, 8:40:00 PM  

just wondering should the loser of Notre Dame - washington fire their coach on the spot ?

jg said...
Oct 25, 2008, 8:41:00 PM  

"Trying to wedge out a little running room" - Mike Patrick on run up the middle by Alabama

jg said...
Oct 25, 2008, 8:44:00 PM  

@jg 8:41:

You should've suggested that for the Michigan State-Michigan game.

Side note: Chocolat Dun-kers?
/Pizza Hut sucks.

Oct 25, 2008, 8:47:00 PM  

"I say that's a good play by a shortstop. Does anyone want to disagree with me?" - Brent Musberger

If you're not watching the game, the ball shorthopped into the arms of the Ohio State receiver (I didn't catch who). And yes, Brent, I want to disagree with you because if that's doing the exact same thing in a baseball game, there's a chance that that's a base hit.

JFein said...
Oct 25, 2008, 8:51:00 PM  

"He's not shooting a free-throw, folks" - Brent Musberger on Kevin Kelly's field goal attempt.

JFein said...
Oct 25, 2008, 9:17:00 PM  

"Those boats in Lake Washington aren't sinking yet." - Mark Jones


Timely joke considering we just had a fishing boat from Seattle sink off the coast of Alaska, killing 4 people.

ssreporters said...
Oct 25, 2008, 9:22:00 PM  

"They're breaking out the towels. That's normally a rally cry, but tonight, it's a helpful apparatus." - Jeanne Zelasko

JFein said...
Oct 25, 2008, 9:36:00 PM  

From Colorado/ Missouri game:

"Daniel slides it in there like a surgeon" - Whoever was doing the analysis after Chase Daniel throws a TD pass.

"Daniel better get out of bounds" - Joel Meyers on a run by Daniel and two Colorado players coming for him Mizzou was up 48-0 at the time.

"You live in America. You go to college in Colorado. You have it better than 90% of the people in the world" - Sideline reporter Emily Jones quoting a speech by CU Dan Hawkins trying to give his players perspective.

CU played the role of homecoming opponent well losing 58-0

jg said...
Oct 25, 2008, 10:04:00 PM  

"Speaking of strong, they party strong in Tucson" Michael Eaves.

bspn said...
Oct 25, 2008, 10:07:00 PM  

"I hate to see a coach who wins nearly 70% of his games lose his job" - Blackledge on Phil Fulmer

Condidering the coach Blackledge played for (Paterno) is getting a free pass for running a fine impression of the 1990's U of Miami outlaw program, not surprising.

jg said...
Oct 25, 2008, 10:20:00 PM  

"Alabama rolling over the Volunteers of Texas 22-3." --Wendi Nix

(I started typing "Longhorns of Texas" there.)

Anonymous said...
Oct 25, 2008, 10:29:00 PM  

These balls are coming out in a few seconds!

-Brad Nessler

Anonymous said...
Oct 25, 2008, 11:20:00 PM  

I didn't have a chance to get this one in earlier but here you go..."If Penn State can get in the endzone here, they'll take the lead."- My dad when Penn State was driving and the score was 0-0. Way to go Captain Obvious!

Jeremy said...
Oct 25, 2008, 11:21:00 PM  

Being that football and WWE are my two passions in life, I have to wonder WTF is meant by saying that Texas Tech player was wearing "Mankind style facepaint?' Mankind/Cactus Jack/Mick Foley has never worn face paint in his career, so........yeah. Awesome reference......

Jason said...
Oct 26, 2008, 12:34:00 AM  

@ Jason: I didn't see the game so I don't know, but possibly the way his paint looked on him resembled the Mankind mask. Agreed, that is a good reference. Very few people probably got it, but a good reference, nonetheless. It's been awhile, but I used to watch WWE, myself..

JFein said...
Oct 26, 2008, 3:03:00 AM  

Emmitt Smith on Sunday Sportscenter on Tebow tying his Florida rushing TD record:

"He's done it in 4 years, I did it in only 3." (It's actually been 2.5 years for Tebow)

Anonymous said...
Oct 26, 2008, 10:28:00 AM  

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