Chad Johnson Is Guest Editor For ESPN The Mag (Confused Me Greatly)

Tuesday, June 03, 2008


I can't believe I once got a kick out of Chad Johnson's schtick. I feel ashamed and I'm sorry for any videos or posts on him. With that out of the way let's give him one more post since he is apparently interning at ESPN The Mag for the Summer (not really, but he's been in there a lot).

In his piece for the Mag he breaks paragraphs into "chapters" and basically give a 19 part look into his NFL Philosophy in second annual Revenge of the Jocks issue. Here are a couple of highlights (or lowlights)....

CHAPTER 2
TEND YOUR GARDEN
Some people say the grass is always greener on the other side. I say be the gardener. Water it. Feed it. Make your own grass grow. I make the grass greener wherever I am. I'm the gardener.

CHAPTER 5
FOOTBALL ISN'T THE ONLY GAME IN TOWN
It doesn't matter where I am or what I'm doing: My light is gonna shine. I could always work as an editor for The Mag, right? As long as the money's right. Or I could go into acting full-time, team up with George Clooney or somebody. If I can get out of Cincinnati, the sky's the limit. What could I do in a place like Philadelphia or Dallas? It would be ridiculous. It's gonna be like a whole new me, like Ocho Cinco 2.0. Yeah, I like that. Ocho Cinco 2.0.

CHAPTER 9
TWO IS BETTER THAN ONE
I'm not just an athlete, I'm an entertainer. An athletainer? Yeah, I like that. Ocho Cinco 2.0, the Athletainer.

CHAPTER 15
TRY MY SHOES ON FOR SIZE
I love the fans in Cincinnati. They dealt with so much losing before I got there. But they still need to understand that this is a business. I hope they stand up for themselves at whatever job they do.

CHAPTER 17
BET YOU DIDN'T SEE THIS COMING
Am I coming back? Of course I am. I told my coaches I'm going to California to act, but the truth is I may come back to the Bengals as early as June.
I may be crazy but I'm not stupid.
I'm so confused right now. Chad Johnson is a gardener, an athletainer, wants to leave Football, loves Football, is mad at the Bengals Front Office, wants out of Cincy and IS playing for the Bengals next year. I personally am sick of the guy, but I'll give him one thing....he knows how to keep his name in the news.

Have You Hugged Your Boss Today? (ESPN The Mag via PFT)

Posted by Awful Announcing- at 1:07 PM

2 Comments:

And Buzz Bissinger thought that blogs were dumbing down America!

Chad Johnson may have just replaced Michael Irvin as my least favorite player ever.

GMoney said...
Jun 3, 2008, 4:02:00 PM  

Chad Johnson says he is the gardener and he makes the grass greener wherever he goes. In the next paragraph (or chapter or whatever he calls it) he says the sky is the limit if he could just get out of Cincinnati.

Wait, isn't he his own gardener? Can't he make his own grass grow in Cincinnati?

No wonder you're confused! So is he.

Dan Hilton said...
Jun 3, 2008, 7:12:00 PM  

Post a Comment