Saturday, March 22, 2008
West Virginia vs. Duke (2:10pm)- Craig Bolerjack and Bob Wenzel
Kansas State vs. Wisconsin (4:20pm)- Kevin Harlan and Dan Bonner
Purdue vs. Xavier (4:40pm)- Craig Bolerjack and Bob Wenzel
Notre Dame vs. Washington State (6:40pm)- Gus Johnson and Len Elmore
Marquette vs. Stanford (6:45pm)- Dick Enberg and Jay Bilas
Kansas vs. UNLV (6:50)- Kevin Harlan and Dan Bonner
Michigan State vs. Pitt (9:10pm)- Gus Johnson and Len Elmore
UCLA vs. Texas A&M (9:15pm)- Dick Enberg and Jay Bilas
Hi, folks. S2N here, and I'll be helping AA chronicle the announcer atrocities (and monitor upsets) for the day with you (that is, unless I am beckoned to the sports bar.)
How's your bracket doing today? In today's group of 2nd rounders, I only missed by thinking Winthrop would upset Wazzu, but I'm totally screwed everywhere else. As usual, leave the good stuff in the comments and I'll update the post as long as I can.
Watching pre-game: the Lopez twins sound awful when they talk at the same time. It's double the stereotypical dumb jock voice (and those boys are smart.)
Please tell me someone is watching CBS pre-game. This McAlarney piece has got to be the worst television ever. I live in Staten Island, NY, so i know all about McAlarney and his history of basketball. He is a great player, but a complete moron. He was busted for Marijuana at ND and was stupid enough to be caught with it. How is that worthy of a piece on CBS? Basically that whole thing has how Mike Brey was a good coach helping a stupid kid get out of trouble. - Marc
Yup, saw that. Cringed, but I've seen much, much worse in terms of sap pieces. The one done on J.P Prince was good, though.
Time for WVU/Duke....god, I hate Bolerjack and Wenzel, but it'll be good for some material.
"The Blue Devils are not shooting the basketball from three point range." - Bob Wenzel (via SSReporters, who notes that there was probably supposed to be a "shooting well" in there.)
"Number 1 in this uniquely American event." - Wenzel. Not sure what that was in reference to. This is going to be a long couple of hours.
"The one-and-done format in the tournament brings out plenty of aggression!" - Wenzel, after a foul on Wellington Smith for an illegal screen on Greg Paulus.
Watching Paulus throw his arms in the air to get the crowd into it is inherently hilarious. This is why he's uniquely hateable -- he's the Doofy White Dude writ large.
"Zoubek does not have a wide enough stance to avoid those kinds of turnovers." - Wenzel, getting his Larry Craig references on.
Scheyer's flopping already too. Jesus, this is bad.
"That's a real foul." - Wenzel. Hmmm....does that imply the others aren't?
"I think Smalligan's name should be Talligan." - Glenn Consor, on the Westwood One radio call (via Rick James Bible Owner)
"Mr. Greenlight!" - Wenzel, after some Dukie I've never heard of hits a shot.
I hope that this game is good down the stretch so that I can hear Bolerjack and Wenzel tryout to be the next WWE announcers again. Watch out Jerry "The King" Lawlor, Bob Wenzel is coming for you! - Brandon
"There musta been some instruction by that guy (Coach K) yesterday. Even with a 104-degree fever, he's still getting after 'em!" - Wenzel
OW. MY BRAIN.
"Four white jerseys, still has the strength to get it up." - Wenzel (via SSReporters)
"Alexander should get 5 points for that effort." - Wenzel (via JX)
I now have a vein throbbing in my forehead.
"You wanna talk about good defense? There's 35 seconds of it!" - Wenzel
In case you didn't know, Duke is playing well on the defensive side of the ball.
That was a sick three by Ruoff, and all silly Raftery-and-Gus-like exclamations by Bolerwenzel are excusable.
"Ruoff, you are sitting on the bench right now because that's how far you were from the basket when you hit that free throw!" - Wenzel
Except for that one.
Joe Alexander to Singler and Scheyer on consecutive plays: "Get that weak shit outta here."
"They (Duke) need some intestinal fortitude right now" - Wenzel (Thanks, Anon!)
"Backdoor, taking a page from Luke Ford and Belmont!" - Wenzel, who cannot conceive that Huggins could have a backdoor play in his hip pocket well before Belmont. Bolerjack has been fairly inoffensive save his love of the word "tenacious," but Wenzel....whew.
"If you're in the lead, you can wait until later. If you're behind, you have to come sooner." - Wenzel, talking about when to bring a player with four fouls back in. Oh, and that's what she said.
"0-for-13 in threes this half, see where that one hit? Front of the rim. What does that tell you?" - Wenzel
"Tired legs." - Bolerwenzel
Wenzel was blathering about Duke stepping it up on D while WVU executed a wide open backdoor lay-in.
"Up and in, Thoroughman!" - Bolerjack
"He's gonna get votes for Governor!" - Wenzel
Very good possession, two offensive boards by Thoroughman (sp?) for WVU.
"Wave goodbye to the ball, Alex!" - Wenzel, describing Ruoff's follow-through (hat tip to Anon)
"Nobody wants to go home in the NCAA tournament!" - Wenzel (via spartandan, that's the second or third time Wenzel's said this)
"Ball is popped out of there like a cork" - Bolerjack, and didn't he say that two days ago as well? (via Anon)
"Duke is a team with great tradition and great pride, don't be surprised to see a rush here at the end" -Wenzel (Via another Anon, who considers the fact that WVU might have pride too.)
"Bob Huggins, coaching in his hometown of West Virginia..." - Wenzel. Now, West Virginia may be rural, but at least call it the state that it is, Bob...
DUCK FUKE! Your tears taste like candy, Blue Devils.
OK, who's next? Harlan and Bonner on K-State/Wisky.
"You want to play at a fast pace, but you don't want to hurry." - Bonner
"You sound like John Wooden." - Harlan
"I wish I did." - Bonner (via spartandan)
"Here's Beasley with the interception" - Harlan (via Smitty Lite, who's wondering if Beasley's now playing cornerback for Ron Prince)
"Count it for two!" - Harlan, despite it not going in -- which Bonner called him out on. (via spartandan)
"That's the first time we've seen some discomforture." Bonner, making up words. (spartandan tells us it is a word, spelled "discomfiture.")
"At the line is Travon Hughes, a sophomore from The Queens, New York" - Harlan (via Anon)
Harlan, taking a page right from Miss Teen South Carolina:
"Efficiency is the name of the Boilermakers!" - Wenzel (via spartandan)
"Derrick Brown is now shooting 79% during three games in his NCAA career. Two last year, and then the... the second this year" - Wenzel. Ow, ow, ow.
"Winner of this game (Purdue-Xavier) takes on the Duke Blue...oops, Duke wishes it was taking on the winner of the game." - Greg Gumbel, botching the transfer slightly.
"Jason Love should give some Love to Drew Lavender for that pass." - Bolerjack (via Anon)
"And, you can see, the breakfast of champions is popcorn." -Wenzel, as the camera shows Huggins eating popcorn (via another Anon)
Bolerwenzel is a freaking gold mine.
"Beep beep, he's gone" -Wenzel
"Beep Beep! The Road Runner!" -Bolerjack (via Anon)
Oh god, the Bolerwenzel combo just stole Steve Lavin's Roadrunner joke. - spartandan
You know you suck when you're recycling Lavinburger bits.
I'm taking a bit of a break, folks -- gotta cook food at some point. Games will still be on, so keep leaving the announcer stupid in the comments.
OK, I'm done -- if I stare at the quote screen any longer, I'll go bonkers. Enjoy the rest of today's action -- and I hope someone can find video of Stanford coach Trent Johnson getting the heave-ho; I was watching what seemed like a final minute that lasted 30 in Purdue-Xavier.