SNF Live-Blog: PHI-NYG, 4th Quarter

Sunday, September 30, 2007


Still with me? Okay, good, we'll get through this together. Fortunately, it looks like the Eagles are getting something resembling a "drive" going.

"buckhalter tries to corral it"
-Al Michaels was probably working on that pun all commercial break - Sam

Bears/Packers next Sunday.

Can't they "flex" yet? - Anon

Seriously. I'm not looking forward to an interception fest full of Favre fellatio, but I'm going to do it for you. McNabb gets whaled on on first down, and a screen pass doesn't work on 2nd. And Sack #9 comes on 3rd down. Akers is going to try a 50+ yard field goal...oh, wait. Time out.

Is this "Cute Couples" week on AA? - OPS

You're calling Tara Reid cute?

Here's a good question....is Elisha drinking an MGD in that photo? - AA

Looks like a match to me based on label. David Akers hits a 53 yard FG, making it 16-3, Giants.

"The Pulse, Philadelphia hasn't had much of one offensively." - AM

Eagles force the Giants into another three and out, and Philly will start (or try to) at their own 29. Mitchell drops a near pick that Buckhalter couldn't handle. That's sack #10 on McNabb, I think -- although he may have been at the line of scrimmage -- yes it is, and there's #11, and number 5 for Osi Umenyiora. Eagles punt it back, and I think we just got My Chemical Romance for the bump music.

OH DAMN! Did you see Matthews broken finger! - AA

Yes, and it was straight out of that Sprint NFL commercial where dude is in the training room and they fix a dislocated finger. Giants are playing ball control now, rushing it with Ward for another first down.

I love how all the analysts and media are so high on Eli this year. He's done the same thing every year and falls apart once the temperature dips below 50 degrees. I can't wait for November to roll around. Maybe we can get the Man Whale under center - Jeremy

Man Whale, huh? That's a new one. I'm still sticking with the Pillsbury Throwboy.

Wasting more time on a 3rd and 5, and an incomplete. Giants will be punting, and of course, Michaels makes a uniform reference. Punt is taken back around the 25 of Philly or so.

"No one could have liked those uniforms." - JM
"They're strictly for the birds." - AM

Very punny, Al. Buckhalter rushes for a first down. Philly is rushing it, Buckhalter gets to the 45 on a pass, and McNabb sneaks it for a first down. I'm fairly sure they're out of time outs or only have one left, and are getting it going as fast as they can. McNabb completes to Kevin Schobel to get into Giant territory. Buckhalter catches the next pass, gets a first down, and gets out of bounds.

NBC just flashed the Oakland-Miami score, which is a sufficient basis for me to point out that I started Daunte Culpepper on both my teams today, which will give me two of the biggest bullshit wins in fantasy football history. - OPS

The Culpepper Vengenace Tour: betcha people who got burned by him the last two years when he was on their teams got burned when someone else picked him up today.

McNabb almost got hit for sack #12 and throws it incomplete on 2nd and 14. He then hurls it to Reggie Brown in the end zone, but McNabb was across the line of scrimmage. Loss of down, five yards back, and 4th down with 18 to go -- McNabb goes down again via Osi Umenyiora, and as an Anon mentioned in the comments, Winston Justice is not making USC look very good right now.

"There's no justice because they didn't give Justice any help, which would have been more jsstice than Justice got." - JM. Huh?

Has anyone ever considered that Winston Justice is actually under a lot more pressure than the white left tackles? - Anon

Two minute warning. The nightmare is almost over. Reuben Droughns gets the last first down to put this game away.

What's longer, the first-down chain, or Madden's tie? - OPS

That's a lot of gut to cover. Final score is 16-3, Giants. Thanks for coming by, and see you next week for Packers-Bears. Drop by Signal to Noise some time, won't you?

Oh, and I didn't want to jinx it -- but we made it through the entire game without that annoying "1,2,3,4" iPod commercial airing (at least in my area). Small victories.

SNF Live-Blog: PHI-NYG, 3rd Quarter

Shockey and Tara really looked like a fitting couple.

Getting reaction from Peyton Manning on Brett Favre's record during the halftime show, plus the utterly useless "Line of Scrimmage" skit on high school football, especially since I read about the whole Texarkana showdown in SI this week. Olbermann finally gets a "Worst Persons in the NFL" right for once with the Chargers' Dean Spanos and A.J. Smith.

Andrea Kremer is looking more and more like an adult Macaulay Culkin every day. It's frightening.

Eagles get the ball to start, and the Giants defense is absolutely destroying Philly's O-line early, and McNabb throws an incomplete. Mattias Kiwanuka sacks him on third down, and that's going to be a three and out at a time they didn't need one.

Either Genesis or Phil Collins on that music bump. I don't know and I don't care which one it actually is.

Did John Madden just say he could eat something for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Who could doubt him?

Derrick Ward just gets assaulted while trying to get on the outside -- but of course! Another Philly penalty for a 15-yard face mask! Ward gets less on the next carry in Eagles territory. He gets some positive yardage on the next carry. A 3rd and 9 pass doesn't get the yardage, and Feagles' punt is downed at the Philly 1 yard line. Kylie Minogue for music? What connection does she have to Jersey?

"'I love Peanut Butter, I eat it for Breakfest, Lunch and Dinner ' - JM. What dinner meal involves peanut butter" - Cory

Oh, I'm sure you can come up with something.

"I own John Runyon." - Michael Strahan, who really shouldn't be talking about owning ANYONE with his divorce settlement. Another sack for Osi Umenyiora -- number 4 on the game -- and eventually his uniform number is just going to rub off and bleed all over McNabb's.

"I'm confounded...how does NY give up 45 to the 'Boys, the Eagles drop 56 last week, and then the NY defense is absolutely manhandleing the Eagles. Someone please explain." - Dummy

Ask and ye shall receive:

"Well dummy, Andy Reid calls a pass play 80% of the time. Makes the defensive coordinators job really easy." - Brett
"I would guess it has something to do with the fact that Philadelphia hasn't done a single thing to discourage a pass-rush intensive defensive unit from pinning their ears back, and almost totally ignoring a tailback that is more productive than the passing game." - OPS

Now that's hard hitting analysis. The Eagles punt is brought back across midfield, and the Giants are getting every advantage on the field right now.

I swear, there must be a factory where they produce "Our Country"-like songs for TV ads with plenty of mountains, amber waves of grain, all the stuff you find in flyover country -- because that's where they got that "Changes' crap for Coors (or, in my vocabulary, Colorado Kool-Aid.)

Ward gets another couple of rushes to set up a 3rd and 3, and the Giants are playing it fairly conservatively for a team up only by a touchdown with a full quarter and more left -- and as I type that, Toomer can't reel in the pass, and the Giants will be punting. I hate to start espousing theories from the Tuesday Morning Douchebag at ESPN's Page 2, but if you've got it on your opponent's 35 with less than five to go and you've owned them all night, fucking go for it.

Nelly's "Hot in Herre" takes us out. I think I misspelled that properly.

After a bad run on 1st, Buckhalter barrels through to the nine. 3rd and 2, and a first down for Tony Hunt. Now, we've got Andrea Kremer in ghostly echo.

I'd guess Philly fans would be really wrecked about how badly they're playing, but they're probably all getting soused, celebrating the Phillies. McNabb goes down again, this time via Kiwanuka -- that's number 8.

Cameron Diaz is in a cave at the stadium apparently. - AA
Who gives a flying fuck that Cameron Diaz is at the game? Seriously. - Anon
I don't give a fuck that she is at the game, but would fuck her at the game. - Dummy

Agreed, but I would care more if it was Mask-era Diaz as opposed to the tree branch currently going by the name of Cameron Diaz. Oh look, Philly punted again. Eli rolls it out to Jeremy Shockey past midfield and again into Eagle territory.

heh.

mcnabb completions = 6

number of eagle punts = 6.

RACISM. - odessasteps

The Eagles offensive line doesn't care about black quarterbacks.

Eli goes deep and Philly gets a PI flag for knocking Amani Toomer out of the path. 1st and goal, Ward gets fuck-all nothing. Manning throws incomplete to Toomer on 2nd and goal.

"I think Eli Manning finally has this game down." - JM. Um, sure, passing to Burress behind the line of scrimmage on 3rd down shows he and this coaching staff have the game down. Throw it to the end zone. Lozo must be pissed. Tynes FG is up and good, 10-0 Giants.

A completed McNabb pass, another flag -- this time on the Giants. ANOTHER fumble by McNabb on the no-huddle during the handoff, and Sam Mitchell picks it up and takes it in for six. Philly fans are too drunk celebrating the Phillies to care, and Andy Reid is now challenging whether it was a touchdown or Mitchell was down.

"the giants d line let Brett Favre and Tony Romo roam free, but as soon as a black QB comes to play, Jason Cambell and Mcnabb, they turn up the heat
this is despicable, i demand a town hall meeting" - Sam

I don't care who you are, that's just funny.

"John Madden is calling Eli Manning calm.

Somewhere, Tom Brady is realizing that being called calm by John Madden is not really a compliment." - OMDQ

Play is upheld, and so is that touchdown. Kick is up -- and it hits the upright. 16-0, Giants.

Eagles manage to get a first down out to their own 36. Nice of you to show up, Kevin Curtis. If you jumped on Curtis for your fantasy team after last week, you're probably really disappointed.

And that's the end of the third quarter, I believe. 16-0, Giants.

SNF Live-Blog: PHI-NYG, 2nd Quarter

I wonder where that picture was actually taken. As Eli Manning hurls a deep pass that Plaxico can't reel in, I'm stuck marveling at the genius snippet of dialogue from the Bionic Woman promo: "I'm ready to give this saving the world stuff a try."

How do you get a delay of game penalty if you're on the first offensive unit? And the Eagles give it right back with an offsides penalty. A tipped pass on third down, and Reno Mahe takes the punt back for not much.

Is that more Springsteen I just heard?

I don't know about this game, but the episode of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition I'm watching right now is terrible. - OMDQ

Wife has the clicker and you've bargained on this to be able to watch the Pats on ESPN tomorrow night, right?

McNabb bombs one a bit too far for Reggie Brown after Michaels goes on a very big spiel about quarterback rating and Johnny Unitas, who didn't have a very good one, but was, of course, one of the all-time greats. Buckhalter gets about one or two yards max. McNabb is sacked yet again, and Rocca boots another one to McQuarters, who gets to midfield.

Ah, finally, our first Bon Jovi bump! There should be a "Bump Music Request" feature for SNF. It'd get us out of the usual ruts here, although if anyone picked My Chemical Romance or Thursday, we'd have to kill them. Eli hits Toomer in the numbers, but it's another flag on the play -- fortunately for the Giants, it's on Philly and is declined. Toomer gets another catch at the 14 on the next play, and I'm wondering just how teams think, "Well, this guy's tearing it up; let's not put a body on him at all." Ward barrels to the 8 yard line through the pile.

Manning throws a beauty of a pass to the back corner and Burress pulls it in for the six. Kick is up and good, and it's 7-0, Giants.

"The only NFC East team worth watching is the 'Boys. BTW, How 'bout dem Cowboys! Even if we did beat up a bunch of girls..." - Dummy

You can say that for now, Dummy. It's the NFC East. Teams will find some ways to make it close. Plus, Wade Phillips coaching a team = some fuck-up losses down the road.

J.R. Reed takes the kickoff back, but there's another flag on the Eagles -- and it's called on Hank Baskett. Hey, wasn't he a starting receiver last year? How much did Hank Baskett suck that Reggie Brown and James Avant overtook him?

Who here had Journeyman done in four episodes? And of course, the "star" of the show is in the crowd. Does NBC tell its stars, "Look, it's in the contract that you have to be in the stands for at least one game we do for a camera shot"? False start on McNabb? I didn't know that was possible.

"Wait a second, Journeyman isn't about Steve Perry? I'm definitely not watching now." - Oops Pow Surprise. +1 to you.

McNabb finally gets a first down by slinging it to Reno Mahe just before Osi Umenyiora can knock him into New York. Buckhalter gets one on the next play. Donovan throws one to a nameless tight end for another first down after Andrea Kremer tells us about the trash talking between Strahan and John Runyon. Strahan gets a sack, with a shot of the man he eclipses for the Giants' team record, Lawrence Taylor, who just looks like he's thinking about doing some drugs.

Congratulations, Mike. A sack record you didn't need help from Brett Favre for. You should be very proud of yourself.

"Proof that I am smarter than Andy Reid:

1) Block Osi Umensomething on 3rd down, since all you ever do is pass;

2) Start giving the ball to the guy who gets 9 yards a carry more than twice per drive.

Oh holy shit, 2nd and 13, they give it to Buckhalter, first down. What a shock." - OPS

You know, you might be on to something here. Maybe, with a 50-50 pass/run play calling scheme, you could take advantage of opponents by keeping them guessing! What a concept. Buckhalter gets stopped up a bit on this one, but he's got 69 yards already in less than a half. McNabb calls time out.

OK, after the third "Our Country", I'm ready to put a shoe through the TV. That's if I wasn't desperately broke and could replace it.

"If I hear one more person say "Lawrence Taylor redifined the linebacker position," I'm gonna fucking kill somebody.

Yeah. Linebackers never tried to rush a quarterback before L.T. got into the NFL.

And how can Lawrence Taylor "redefine" the position, when Rickey Jackson did the same stuff in New Orleans--AND HE WAS ALSO DRAFTED IN 1981!!!!!!!!!!!!!" - Anon

Being in New York and playing on good teams instead of crappy Saints teams has to have had something to do with it.

The Eagles get inside the Giant 30, but can't do jack with it, and Akers has a 42-yard FG attempt that misses. Still 7-0, Giants.

I don't know if someone else kind of noticed that one breast of the statue of liberty seems to be hard. - minnesotasoxfan

French designers will do anything to offend our uniquely American sense of modesty!

"I was watching him [Ward] yesterday, I think he's got the biggest calves of any running back I've ever seen." - JM

Go on, John, you know you'd like to stroke those up. And Philly gets another penalty, a personal foul face mask at the end of the run. Two-minute warning.

Wrestlemania victories:

LT: 1
Jackson: 0

End of debate. - OPS

Also, the man did enough drugs to kill at least two lesser men, or so I have read. This gives him the victory over Jackson. Also, being a better player helps LT's rep immeasurably. Another dumb Philly penalty, and Andy Reid might be considering breaking into his son's personal stash.

Manning converts another third down and gets it to Ward inside the Philly 20 -- and Manning is promptly picked off by an Eagle linebacker. Eli gives us a bit of the slackjaw Manning Face we all know and love in response. Eagle ball in Giant territory, and of course -- Philly gets a flag again. And ANOTHER false start. Andy Reid is now considering finding his elder son's firearm collection.

Why doesn't anyone ever claim that Lawrence Taylor redefined broadcasting?

When he broke Theismann's leg, it forever altered the course of humanity as we know it. - OMDQ

That is the only black spot on LT's football career, as far as I'm concerned. The series concludes with a McNabb fumble of the ball back at the Eagle 44, so they managed to perform the rare feat of losing major yardage after starting at the Giant 43 or so.

The Giants run the clock out, and they're up 7-0 on Philly. See you for the third quarter (also: Lozo is owning me tonight.)

Strip-sack? is that a cut of beef? - Dummy

I don't know, but you've made John Madden hungry.

SNF Live-Blog: PHI-NYG, 1st Quarter

I guess Kenny Chesney has a special relationship with both Manning brothers. Al and John are coming up.

By the way, Brian Westbrook is out tonight, I believe, so make it Eagles 21-17. I think McNabb will step up again and get a bit of help, but it's going to be close.

I've developed Stockholm Syndrome when it comes to "Our Country," so much so that I've caught myself singing along at times. I should go cut my tongue out now.

Oh, and Westbrook is a confirmed scratch. Manning and the Giants offense will start on their own 20 after a touchback on the kickoff. Derrick Ward rushes for 8, and the Giants get off to a rousing start by getting called for holding immediately on that play.

"There is no 68." - AM, as the ref calls it on a phantom offensive lineman (it's eventually corrected.) Sgt. Hartman (Tom Coughlin) proceeds to bitch out Phantom O-Lineman as he floats towards the sidelines.

"Chris Gocong, Cal Poly-San Luis Obispo." It's kind of weird to hear that Cal Poly produces NFL players. Seriously. Most of what we're good for up here and known about in terms of football is for unleashing John Madden upon the world. Giants go three and out after the holding call, and Jeff Feagles punts it to Reno Mahe -- who promptly fumbles while being tackled, and there's another flag on the play. Philly keeps the ball, but the flag sends 'em back a bit.

Note to Michael Strahan: calling it "THE Texas Southern University" does not necessarily make it more prestigious or impressive. It's still douchey. And McNabb is sacked for a three and out, so maybe there is some extra arrogance provided behind the "THE." Or maybe it's just that the Eagles offensive line stinks early. Punt to McQuarters, and he's nailed after a few yards.

We're at the Meadowlands, and the music bump is, of course, Springsteen.

Over/under on how many times Eagles punter Sav Rocca's nationality is mentioned: 5.

First play is a dropped pass by Amani Toomer. He reels in the next Manning throw for our first 1st down of the game.

Derrick Ward was academically ineligible to play at Fresno State TWICE. My understanding, based on working with some folks who have gone to Fresno State, is that doing that takes a lot of work. He was also a gofer on a movie set, doing thankless work that apparently taught him "humility."

Toomer catches another one for another first down. Eli hooks up with Plaxico Burress for another first down.

"Burress is the kind of guy that would be Allen Iverson's favorite player. Practice?!? Practice?? He does anything but practice." - AM

Ward takes the short pass from Manning and has what looks like a first down -- and this Eagles defense looks awful real early, real fast. Reuben Droughns gets stuffed on a 3rd and 1; always amusing when the so-called "short yardage back" can't get the short yardage. Here comes Tynes, and the kick is wide right. The Eagles' offense will get it with decent field position.

Correll Buckhalter reels off 25 rushing yards on the first two plays on this drive -- and then gets hit in the backfield on the next play.

"If you hit someone like that, that's the way you do it. You could put on a clinic." - AM

Another Eagle first down at the Giant 39, via Buckhalter and another 10+ yard run. McNabb tosses an incomplete to Kevin Curtis, who slips a bit. Curtis then proceeds to drop the next pass as it goes through his hands. Looks as if all his magical Possession Receiver Powers are lost when not wearing the ugly-as-fuck throwbacks from last week. McNabb gets sacked, and Rocca punts it.

"Rocca tries to pooch-punt, and that was a runt." - AM

Why the fuck am I watching highlights and opens of Brett Favre? Oh, any excuse will work, even a short QB recap. Still, annoying overkill. Yes, Al and John, we know you would suck Favre dry if given the opportunity in real life like you do on air. No need for more.

Nice hurdling of the defensive player by Ward. Dare I say at this point that he's being used in a Westbrook sort of manner right now.

"I thought Brett Favre retired, didn't you?" - AM
"Uh, no," - JM, followed by more Favre fellatio.

Just stop it, guys. Please. It has nothing to do with the game currently on the television. First quarter is over, in a scoreless tie, and they've talked more about Brett Favre than the game on the field.

That, plus Lozo's live-blog of this live-blog is getting more comments. It's gonna be a long night.

SNF Live Blog: PHI-NYG Pre-Game Open Thread

S2N here again, ready to join you for another evening of Sunday Night Football, this time between the Eagles and the Giants. Weirdness of the schedule: Dallas and the Giants have been on SNF twice in the first four weeks.

I know this photo is likely from when Al and John were still Disney employees, but it's still funny to me, as if Madden is looking ready to eat Lisa Guerrero.

OK, prepare to document any atrocities from Football Night in America here, and let's see how many times Tiki Barber can rip his former team yet again in the open thread.

(Also: Lozo is insane enough to live-blog this live-blog tonight.)

The Press Buffet: Upset City

Several surprising upsets in college football land this weekend. Rather than throw any BS analysis your way, since I was only able to watch one or two of these, I will turn it over to the hometown newspapers of the victors.

Manhattan Mercury (Kansas State):

AUSTIN, Texas — Money doesn't always buy wins.

That was demonstrated again Saturday as Kansas State, with a 10th place $36 million budget, defeated the $100 million Longhorns from the University of Texas, 41-21, at Darrell K Royal - Texas Memorial Stadium.

In the premier men's sports, Kansas State has now defeated Texas in three straight competitions.

Last year the wins came in football, 45-42, at Bill Snyder Family Stadium, and in basketball, Bob Huggins' Wildcats pulled off a 73-72 thriller on the UT campus.


This one blew me away - in large part because my Kansas Jayhawks will be facing the
Wildcats next week, and I thought they'd be ripe for the picking. I guess that crazy guitar-playing wildcat video really works.

St. Petersburg Times (University of South Florida):

In four games, the Bulls have forced 17 turnovers, including 11 against the Tigers and Mountaineers. They're on pace to obliterate the school record of 36, set in 2002, and more than double last year's total of 25 turnovers.

The difference? Great hands on defense, thanks to a renewed priority on pass-catching skills in practice.

"We do a lot of ball drills," safeties coach Troy Douglas said. "Basically, the DBs and linebackers are doing the same stuff the receivers do. It's helped us tremendously.

I like this kind of reporting - the writer actually gaines some insight into how this seemingly miraculous turnaround came about. It really shows how coaching and game prep can show up on Saturday (or Friday).

The Boulder Daily Camera (University of Colorado):

"That No. 3 ranking didn't mean anything to us," CU cornerback Terrence Wheatley said. "You have to have that mind-set. It's not like that ranking gives them superpowers or anything like that. They didn't come out there with capes on."


Indeed, it was Wheatley who seemed to have the cape on - he was flying around the field, and if a ball was in his sights, he would make the play. This is why they play the games - OU's ranking was built on 50-point shellackings of overmatched OOC opponents, and it showed.

Opelika-Auburn News (Auburn Tigers):

(Freshman kicker Wes Byrum) appeared to hit the game-winner on his first attempt, but officials ruled Florida head coach Urban Meyer had called timeout just before the snap.

That forced Byrum to line up for another shot at the game-winner.

But he wasn’t fazed.

"I really just stopped thinking, because I just did it once," Byrum said. "I stood back there, took my steps and just did it again."


Ohhhmmmmmmmm............

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution (Georgia Tech Yellowjackets):

Tashard Choice toted a sledgehammer as he led Georgia Tech onto the field Saturday afternoon.

A two-game losing streak had to be smashed. An excruciating memory had to be crushed. No. 13 Clemson had to be hammered.

And that's just what Tech's defense and special teams did.

The Yellow Jackets held the ACC's highest-scoring offense without a touchdown and converted a blocked punt and a punt-return fumble recovery into 10 points en route to a 13-3 victory over the Tigers.


I know... meh. But that's still the best quote the AJC could muster. I guess the biggest newspapers don't always have the most interesting articles.

And, finally, for our dear host AA, the Maryland victory over #10 Rutgers (and it couldn't happen to a nicer bunch of future-military-officer cursing fans).

The Washington Post (Maryland Terrapins:

Maryland backup quarterback Chris Turner and quarterbacks coach John Donovan talked in the locker room at halftime Saturday, coach and player simply trying to make the best of a bad situation.

Starter Jordan Steffy had just suffered a shoulder injury and a concussion, making his return to the game questionable at best. As if that news wasn't daunting enough, the Terrapins had just allowed two touchdowns in 46 seconds, allowing No. 10 Rutgers to erase a deficit and seize the momentum right before intermission.


Dude, I totally saw this on "Friday Night Lights" last season. We all know the backup overcomes the odds and leads his team to victory. Get a better scriptwriter.

That's it for this week!

--Extra P

How About A Louis Gossett, Jr. Interview? Can We Make That Happen?

(posted by OMDQ)


Someone mentioned this in a News Team email thread earlier in the week, but I had forgotten until just a few minutes ago: Ian Eagle is the play-by-play guy for today's Jets-Buffalo game (Solomon Wilcots is his wingman). If ever there was a name that had to be heard to be fully appreciated, it's Ian Eagle. I giggle every time he says it.

Posted by One More Dying Quail at 1:37 PM 1 Comments Links to this post

AL Central Teams Cannot Stop Joey Gathright

(posted by OMDQ)

Joey Gathright has played 72 games for the Kansas City Royals this season, hitting a career-high .305 and serving as the team's regular left-fielder over the past two months, but he will always remember 2007 for a pair of big base hits.

On August 20 against the White Sox, Gathright led off the top of the ninth against Chicago closer Bobby Jenks. At the time, Jenks had retired 41 consecutive batters, matching the record originally set by San Francisco's Jim Barr in the early 1970s. A career .265 hitter, Gathright turned on a Jenks offering and crushed a 67-hopper that found the hole between third and short, ending the streak and leaving Barr's name in the books as a co-owner.

And he wasn't done. On Saturday, with the Royals and Indians tied 3-3 and Cleveland needing a win to have a chance at homefield advantage in the playoffs, Gathright's eighth inning single scored Justin Huber with the eventual winning run. THAT hit came on the heels of another big play earlier in the game in which he threw a runner out at home to preserve what was at that point a 3-2 Royals lead.

It's a cliche to suggest that when teams are eliminated from the postseason, either mathematically or philosophically, they suddenly gain some greater sense of purpose and unite to play the largely mythical role of "spoiler." Most of the time, that's a load of crap. Teams that are far out of the race at this point are more concerned with going home and ending an awful season than with helping another team's fortunes. As far as individual effort goes, however, I feel quite comfortable labeling Joey Gathright an official Spoiler. He's earned it.

Posted by One More Dying Quail at 2:10 AM 1 Comments Links to this post

Pam Ward Does Not Know What A Punt Is

See after Touchdowns the scoring team sets the ball on a tee for what they call a KICK-OFF. It's a tough concept I know.


Also, what was with Ray Bentley's diatribe on lifting weights all about?

Posted by Awful Announcing- at 12:00 AM 3 Comments Links to this post

The Pam Ward Chronicles: Week Five

Saturday, September 29, 2007


Welcome back to our weekly installment of The Pam Ward Chronicles. I'm going to be keeping track of the Announcing Quotes throughout the day and I ask that you join in. Please leave any that you come across in the comments or feel free to email me at AwfulAnnouncing@Gmail.com. Other goodness will be happening underneath this post so be sure to check it out.

Now I don't know if we're going to get a Mike Patrick-Britney Spears moment again, but I'll be looking for it.

Here are the standings after four weeks........

1. Chris Spielman (23)
2. Gary Danielson (19)
3. Brad Nessler (18)
4. Bob Griese, Lee Corso (16)
6. Mike Patrick (10)
7. Pat Haden, Dave Pasch (9)
9. Paul Maguire, Mike Patrick, and Gerry Dinardo (8)

Others Receiving Votes: Mark Jones (7), Brent Musburger (7), Sean McDonough (7), Tim Brandt (6), John Saunders (6), Charles Arbuckle (5), Ray Bentley (5), Mike Tirico (4), Dan Fouts (4), Desmond Howard (3), Jim Donnan (3), Doug Flutie (3.5), Pam Ward (3), Erin Andrews (3), Craig James (2.5), Todd Blackledge (2), Andre Ware (4), Gerry Dinardo (1),

College Football Week #5 Announcing Teams (Awful Announcing)
_______________________________________________

We're starting off the day with a couple of great exchanges between Chris Fowler and Craig James.....

“Bring it to the middle of the field and you will see the right hand of fellowship. Pass the offering plates at this moment”- Craig James
(the next play goes off)
“Along the fletch lines…..demons out.”- Craig James
Ooooookay.- Chris Fowler

James would not stop making jokes about one of Boise State's Player who was a minister. You could tell Fowler was getting pretty annoyed. But then there was this exchange sent in by Anon.....

The Thursday booth got off topic (what a shock with James and Flutie in the booth!) and started talking about Craig James' ranch, and well, Fowler ended up quoting Brokeback Mountain.

"I just can't quit you, Craig" – Chris Fowler

Nice! Brokeback Mountain jokes are still in!!!

"(Wisconsin will win) because Michigan State has a culture of carelessness with the ball" - Desmond Howard (Via Matt)

I caught that one too. A culture Desmond? Really???

"The number was incorrect, but it was offsides anywhere."- Pam Ward

Good morning Erin! Green at Notre Dame huh?



Pam Ward trying to pronounce Cajun names. This is going to be fun. The first one she got wrong was "Guidroz" (it's Gee-droz). Ward #2: It's ZEE-non, not Zinnen (Via Anon)

"Johnson lost himself a fifth grader, about 50 or 60 pounds." - Ray Bentley (Via S2N)

Can Rob Simkjlkmkjjear please stop saying that the special jerseys are raising funds for a big step back or New Orleans. It's the opposite of what you think it is Rob.

Did Pam Ward just say Hurricane Katrina happened 18 months ago? It happened in August of 2005, which is more than 24 months ago. Either Pammy is bad at math or doesn't care about black people. (Via S2N)

And now for a video nomination.....



First of all that Field Goal attempt is crazy. I haven't seen one hit off the top of the upright either. Second, Pam....baby. If a ball hits any part of the goal post it can't be short.

"It almost looks like he hits right on top. Bam...right there it did. I've never seen that before Pam."- Ray Bentley
"Pat, 2 for 2 between 30 and 39 yards, but that one was....short."- Pam Ward

I have to suggest that Pammy was right in calling that kick 'short'. If the kick goes over the upright the field goal is good....but it has to go over the upright. That kick did not go over the upright...it hit it...while it was not short of the goalpost..it was short of being a made field goal.- Matt

I dunno about that Matt....most Field Goals are only called short if they don't reach the goal posts. That kick was definitely not short because it had the distance to be good. Oh well...we can Agree to Disagree!!!

"Sometimes when you're a Quarterback you have to win with your arm."- Andre Ware

Riiiiight Andre. Riiiiight.

"Again, the key to making first downs is moving the chains."- Larry Coker (Via Eric)

Hey a Larry Coker sighting!

Erin Andrews interviewing Purdue Basketball Coach Matt Painter.....

"How do you and Coach Tiller piggyback off of each other."- Erin Andrews

Ewwwwww.

"Architecture is something that people need in New Orleans."- Pam Ward (Via Anon)

"If they can stay close to LSU going into the 4th quarter...get them in that deep water."- Ray Bentley (Via Anon)

What a horrible analogy to use for a city that was covered in water after Katrina. Terrible.

After two kickoffs go out of bounds they show the UConn special teams coach Lyndon Johnson on camera.

“There might be impeachment papers filed if this kick goes out of bounds.” - Bob Wischusen (Via Steve)

This Weekend's Sign of the Apocalypse.....

"Notre Dame is just not a good football team" - Lou Holtz (Via Anon)

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! The end is near if Holtz is talking bad about ND.
________________________________________

I have to separate this out because Pam Ward is going for the all-time record of ridiculous statements in the first half of this game. She is dreadful.

Did Pam just compare New Orleans to Malibu? Because Tulane and Pepperdine are both the Waves?- Anon

Did Pam just call a kickoff a punt????????- Anon

Yes on both accounts. Video of the punt comment will be coming soon.



"There's the little guy Trindon Holloway."- Pam Ward, It's Holliday Pam.

"That'll bring up 3rd and 2...do you think about going for it here?"- Thom Brenanman (Via Matt)

"Stopped for virtually no gain"- Pam Ward (Via Anon)

I hate that phrase. It doesn't tell me anything. Did he gain yards or not?

"LSU is looking like a number two right now."- Ray Bentley, LSU looks like crap. Thanks to my 3rd grade humor that one made me chuckle a bit.

"This is an A Number 1, Class Triple A eating town."- Pam Ward

"They call (Tulane) the 'Stanford of the South.'"- Ray Bentley

I'm from South Louisiana. Nicholls State calls itself "Harvard on the Bayou."That doesn't make it true.- Anon
_______________________________

S2N here, keep all the good quotes coming, folks. I'll be watching Cal-Oregon and stomaching Dan Fouts' play-by-play.

"Golden Tate is what we call a playmaker. Just makes plays." - Andre Ware

ESPN, I'm begging you -- please promote Erin Andrews to color, or something -- just get Andre out of the booth.

Not announcer-related and I can't capture the video, but did anyone else catch the Oregon Duck doing the line-ups with a very, very creepy voiceover?

"Jermaine Gresham is 6'6, 260 yards, er pounds" - Dave Lapham (via Mookie)

"Coming from the blind side, and I don't think [Tyler Donovan] envisioned that." - Brad Nessler, on the Wisconsin QB getting sacked
"You never want to envision that!" - Bob Griese

"I know you watch some of those shows. I know you watched Boston Legal last night." - Nessler to Griese

"It looked like [Dennis Dixon] overthrew him and it just stuck to his gloves like Teflon." - Tim Brant

Um, Timmy, I believe Teflon is supposed to help stuff NOT STICK.

"DAN DIERDORF-ISM ALERT:

Brought to you by Overstock.com. It's All About the "O". - Joel Meyers
And it's "all about the 'O'" for Oklahoma now. - Dave Lapham (thanks Anon!)

There is no better name than Dierdorfism for that. Thanks again.

"Did they get him on the 'grill?'"--Joel Meyers (via Anon)

"We are looking at possibly the biggest upset in college football this season." - Joel Meyers, who was promptly reminded by Dave Lapham that App State over UM is probably still bigger than a CU over OU potential upset.

"'(Cody Hawkins) reminds me of Jon Kitna'--Dave Lapham

Why? Did he say God cured him of a concussion? - Anon"

I don't care who you are, that's just funny.

"That's one of those babies that you hear outside of the stadium." - Maguire, on a helmet to helmet hit by a MSU player on Wisky's Kyle Jefferson.

CU upsets OU because THIS IS DIVISION ONE FOOTBALL, BROTHER!!!

"I like it, because now you don't have to think about how many time outs are left, just look at the top of the screen." - Nessler
"Griese explains the thing every week." - Maguire
"It's still early in the football season, Paul. I'm going to highlight them again later." - Griese
"Bob, you draw the best balls I've ever seen." - Maguire

I hope he did mean on the TeleStrator. Regardless, John Madden would like to take issue with Griese's TeleStrator dick drawing and have a contest.

"And you think the biggest factor of the first quarter is...." - Verne Lundquist
"The wind. Gosh, if I close my eyes, a Big 10 game's liable to roll in any second." - Gary Danielson

"Deon Curry making curry powder out of the Wisconsin defense" - Nessler (thank you Anon)

I swear, if it weren't for Pam Ward, this quote board would have to be named for the Nessler-Griese-Maguire triumverate. These guys are good for at least five brain locks/moronic quotes a game.

"Two full time-outs. I could eat lunch with that long." - Gary Danielson

"And now, NC State is movin' but they're MO has been they'll get some things going and can't keep it quite get going."-Charles Arbuckle. (Via Eric, who asks what that means, and to me, it does not compute, much like Tom O'Brien's offense.)

Aside: The sideline reporter on Cal-Oregon just did the crappiest piece on the Duck mascot "serving time" after the fight with the Houston Cougars' mascot a few weeks back.

"Bonnie's [Bernstein] player of the week [Andre Woodson, Kentucky QB]: As soon as she picks him, next week, he gets a pick." - Griese
"Well, he had five TDs today." - Maguire
"But he still had a pick." - Griese

Folks, leave the rest in the comments, and AA will get to them for the best of for Monday. I've got some I-AA football to attend this evening.

________________________________________

Here are the rest of the nominees from yesterday. Thanks S2N for filling in for as long as you could. Much appreciated.

"I was listening to the USC-Washington game on ESPN Radio (presumably to get away from Brent Musberger), only to have them do a flashback to the Colorado-Michigan Hail Mary (for some reason) voiced by Musberger saying that "Brian Westbrook caught the pass from Kordell Stewart." (Via Anon)

"Trev, we talked about how penalties really don't have much of an impact on the game except when they happen in the blue zone or the red zone or whatever you call it."- Tom Hart (Via Eric)

That's just terrible.

Announcers indicate that the final score of the OU @ Colorado game have not been announced and will not be announced. That the PR folks at UT have made a decision to withhold that information. FSN Announcer: "So no one in the stadium knows that OU has lost the game."

Uhhhhhhh? Did the UT administration also shut down all the cell phone towers in the area? And they removed all wi-fi equipment? Not a SINGLE PERSON knows? (Via Bond J. Bond)

They don't have computers? That's just odd.

"They started classes this week, so that was a distraction"- Bob Davie (As submitter HA says....it's COLLEGE Football, I think they're used to classes. Well unless it's Florida State we're talking about)

"He grasps about 85% of our package...."- Quint Kessenich (Via KJ)

"Forget conservative, [Auburn]'re going into Hilary territory on the field."- Mike Patrick on a Tigers 4th down conversion.
(Via CR)

Posted by Awful Announcing- at 11:59 PM 88 Comments Links to this post

Is There Anything Better Than A Baseball Celebration?

I've always wanted to be in a locker room for a celebration like this. Red Sox fans stuck around after the game to see the O's take out the Yankees in ten innings and in turn giving the Sawx the division. Let the champagne spray!



Is it against the law for Curt Schilling to pour champagne into the mouths of minors? If I were the Yankees I'd get him brought up on charges.

Boston Sportz has a bunch of other vids if you want to check them out.

ESPN Quelches Reporter For Leaking Hockey Info

Friday, September 28, 2007


I saw a piece the other day that where John Buccigross had mentioned ESPN was almost certain to get Hockey back on the network. It was in an article by Sports Business Daily, so I jumped over to Buccigross' page to see what the statement was. I couldn't find anything related at all in any of his pieces so I just passed on the item all together.

Well as it turns out there was a reason I couldn't find anything. Via Sports Media Watch....

ESPN has edited a column by SportsCenter anchor and hockey writer John Buccigross to no longer include a reference to a potential reunion between the network and the National Hockey League. Buccigross, writing the season debut of his weekly hockey column, speculated that ESPN would gain the rights to air National Hockey League games for the first time since 2004.

"NHL players want it, the NHL wants it and ESPN wants it," Buccigross wrote, "NBC and Versus somewhat holds the cards however, so we will have to wait and see; but my guess is yes. ESPN will have a piece of the pie."

That entire portion of the article has now been omitted.
That is actually a good move by ESPN since the decision is solely that of NBC, but blogs scare the hell out of me. Putting up un-edited content like that is horrible and cannot be tolerated! (I kid, I kid)

Barry Melrose is rolling over in his grave.......What's that? He's not dead??? Well then.....warm up that mullet my friend.

ESPN deletes Buccigross speculation (Sports Media Watch)

Is The Success Of Boxing Directly Related To ESPN's Coverage Of It?


I had to pass this amazing article that Unsilent Majority penned for No Mas this morning. It's a perfect account of why boxing is not getting the same respect it has in years past and how that's directly related to coverage on ESPN and SportsCenter.

Boxing Isn't Dead, But ESPN Is Burying It (No Mas)

How boxing is considered a failing sport when they set a record for PPV views with the De La Hoya-Mayweather fight just doesn't make sense, and I think UM sheds a lot of light on the situation. Here are some of UM's points....

The lone "boxing" stories that I've seen crack SportsCenter's rotation this week have involved Pretty Boy Floyd dancing like a fool and the downward spiral that is Mike Tyson's life. The last time SportsCenter featured any real boxing coverage the commentators were debating whether or not two fading stars could "save" the sport.

Ever since ESPN bought up the Arena Football League, Tony Graziani's name has been on the lips of SportsCenter anchors more than Kelly Pavlik or Andre Berto or any of the other emerging marketable stars. It makes sense for any major corporation to "keep things in the family" but Disney goes off the deep end.

The primary component of the company's boxing coverage is Friday Night Fights which offers compelling live cards and analysis of the larger boxing scene. So what do they have planned for this week's episode? Uh...well nothing really, apparently the season is over. I didn't even know boxing had seasons... well played ESPN.
Great job by UM to give just another example of the hypocrisy ESPN is throwing right in all of our faces. It's like they're not even trying to hide it anymore. ESPN is so desperately trying to the UFC on-board that they're ignoring (still) one of the most popular Sports in the Country and hell....the World.

Max Kellerman is rolling over in his grave.......What he's not dead??? Oh.

FOX Releases MLB Playoff Information


I know I don't have to tell you this, but Joe Buck and Tim McCarver are back to ruin yet another American League Postseason. It will be good fun tearing them apart, but dreadful listening to them at the same time. FOX is also keeping their regular on-field reporters Ken Rosenthal and Chris Meyers, but they're adding a crazy number of people to the pre/post game shows. Here's the list.....

Jeanne Zelasko, Kevin Kennedy, Joe Girardi, Mark Grace and Eric Karros.

It doesn't list them as backup announcing teams, which have yet to been named, but as anaylsts for the pregame. They'll most certainly add Eric Byrnes if the D-Backs don't make the playoffs, so they'd be reaching SNIFNIA territory with that crew.

(Psst....Fox.....you are also working with MLB.com for some online content, which gives you access to Harold Reynolds. No one watches that online crap at all. You're more than likely going to employ Thom Brennamen again, so why don't you pair him with HR and Girardi? Seems like a great idea right? Right.)

Completely disregard that. I forgot FOX is only going to need one team because they are only doing the ALCS and WS. TBS takes over the role FOX had last year with multiple announcing teams in the first round of the playoffs.

ALCS on FOX schedule
(Schedule subject to change/all times Eastern)

Date Game Location Time
Friday, Oct. 12 Game 1 TBD 8 p.m.
Saturday, Oct. 13 Game 2 TBD 8 p.m.
Monday, Oct. 15 Game 3 TBD 4 p.m.
Tuesday, Oct. 16 Game 4 TBD 8 p.m.
*Thursday, Oct. 18 Game 5 TBD 8 p.m.
**Saturday, Oct. 20 Game 6 TBD 4 p.m.
*Sunday, Oct. 21 Game 7 TBD 8 p.m.

World Series on FOX schedule
(Schedule subject to change/all times Eastern)

Date Game Location Time
Wednesday, Oct. 24 Game 1 American League City 8 p.m.
Thursday, Oct. 25 Game 2 American League City 8 p.m.
Saturday, Oct. 27 Game 3 National League City 8 p.m.
Sunday, Oct. 28 Game 4 National League City 8 p.m.
*Monday, Oct. 29 Game 5 National League City 8 p.m.
**Wednesday, Oct. 31 Game 6 American League City 8 p.m.
*Thursday, Nov. 1 Game 7 American League City 8 p.m

Kevin Everett Can Move His Legs And Is Kicking Cops

This may not be on of the most tasteful videos I've ever put on the site, but it made me laugh. A News Channel mixes up the tape of a Kevin Everett story and a man being rolled on a wheelchair into court. The irony is just too much to handle.....

Posted by Awful Announcing- at 9:54 AM 4 Comments Links to this post

Yahoo! Hires Kenny "The Jet" Smith As NBA Writer

Thursday, September 27, 2007


Yahoo!, who picked up blogger extradonaire J-Mottram last week, has hired NBA Analyst Kenny Smith as a Senior NBA Analyst. Smith will provide the content the Steve Kerr used to last year and will still stay on at his other gigs with TBS, MSG, and Sirius.

“Steve generated a lot of traffic for us, so this was a role we definitely wanted filled before the start of the season,” said Yahoo Sports Exec Editor Dave Morgan. “Kenny’s obviously great in his TV roles, but we think there’s additional sides of his personality that will come out with us. He may not write as much as Steve did, but you’ll definitely see a lot of video from Kenny.” (Via SBD)
We can only hope that Mottram is his boss and forces him to write about the dumb stuff Charles Barkley does on a daily basis. Oh wait....that's me during the NBA season.

Joe Theismann At ESPN, 1998-2007


Joe Theismann is officially done with ESPN. According to ProFootballTalk, Joe and the "Leader" have reached a settlement and Sunshine is officially released from his contract....

ESPN spokesman Mac Nwulu tells us that Joe Theismann is no longer affiliated with the network.

Here's the official statement: "We have reached a settlement with Joe Theismann to end his association with ESPN. We thank Joe for his many years of work for us and wish him well."
Seems like a smart idea considering they were paying the guy millions to do nothing. Oh I take that back....he had this article at the end of August on young players to watch. Great article....445 words of pure million dollar journalistic genius. Happy trails Joe. I'm sure our paths will cross soon enough (as soon as FOX signs you to a 10-year contract).

THEISMANN OUT AT ESPN (PFT)

The Longhorns Crank Dat Soulja Boy!

Timeouts in College Football are intense. There are coaches yelling, previous plays being analyzed, and......umm.......dance routines? Guess so. Hey when you're the Longhorns and you're playing Central Florida (and you don't care about covering the spread a**holes!) you mind as well break it on down.



Now Watch Me Doooooo........Crank Dat Soulja Boy! Try to get that out of your heads the rest of the day.

You Create The Caption #89

(Usually) Everyday I'll throw out a photo from the AP or one of the bigger sites and you provide the caption. Hilarity ensues. I'm also adding a handful of links at the bottom of the page that you should check out each day.

Yesterday's Winners.....


"Satisfied with how much he can screw up the team on the floor, Mitch Kupchak turns his attention to the Laker Girl roster."- Anon

"It's not good when more people can name these three rockettes then those four lakers..."- gusjohnsonforgod

"Okay guys, Kobe says the team needs more talent if it's going to win now. Let's show him what kind of talent we've got! ... Remember to kick on the off-beat."- Underbruin

"Alright, ONE of you girls has got to be a better point guard than Smush"- JK
____________________________________

Are you funny enough to make a caption for this photo of a random girl running onto the field during Barry Bonds' last game with the Giants?


Daily Links:


Baby Brady Is Sooooo Cute! (Boston Sportz)
So Is Chad Henne Playing This Weekend Or What? (We Suck At Sports)
Lambeau, Not So Cool (Rumors and Rants)
Byrnes Is Running For President. Greaaaat. (AZ Sports Hub)
Charles Barkley's Top 5 Moments (Halfcourt Heave)
Using Bill James Like Fancy Stats To Show You Who The Real MVP Is (Vegas Watch)
NHL Is Back (Pop Jocks)
An Awesome Collection Of Actresses That Played Cheerleaders (Barstool Sports)

Dan Patrick Won't Be Making Any Friends In Radio Anytime Soon


Dan Patrick is officially on KLAC-AM in Los Angeles and to make room the roster is getting trimmed. T.J Simers Fred Roggin are the first show hosts to get the ax from a major market and there will certainly be more to come. Via SbB comes this quote from Roggin....

"This is going to be our final show together on KLAC. Yesterday, [we received] the somewhat sobering, yet exciting news. As many of you know, Dan Patrick, who worked for ESPN for many years, left that network and became a free agent and decided to go with syndicated radio."

"As the story goes, as the crow flies, as the wind blows, Clear Channel, which owns this station, signed Dan Patrick. Dan Patrick needed a Los Angeles home. Given the fact that from the very beginning of our go-round here, it had been trumpeted that it was only going to last a year."
So that's one radio show axed. How many more do you think will perish at the hands of DP? I'm officially calling this the Dan Patrick Effect and hope everyone in radio doesn't hate him for firing half of the country's Sports Talk hosts.

PATRICK LANDS FIRST RADIO AFFILIATE - ON L.A. STATION (SbB)
Dan Patrick Joins KLAC for Mornings (LARadio.com)

Posted by Awful Announcing- at 12:14 PM 8 Comments Links to this post

Skip Caray Snubbed By TBS, Takes Shots At The Network And His Replacements


I don't know if Skip Caray was promised anything beforehand, but he's pretty upset that he's been left off the TBS Postseason Announcing roster. Skip has just gotten back into the booth for The Atlanta Braves (TBS) after a hospital stay for heart complications, but TBS went in a different direction.

Well Skip is pissed that no one has told him anything and has decided to not only take on the network that snubbed him, but the announcers that are there in his place....

"It hurt my feelings, and I'm mad at myself for thinking there was any loyalty left in this business," Caray, the longtime Atlanta Braves broadcaster, said in an interview Wednesday. "I should have known better. They can do whatever they want to do," Caray said, "but I've done a lot of good work for these people, and it's hurtful that they apparently don't think I can do good work anymore."

"I feel like I can do a better job than a tennis announcer or a football-basketball announcer," Skip Caray said. "I'm not knocking Ted Robinson and Dick Stockton, but point of fact is they don't do baseball anymore and I'm there every day."
Ouch. Someone sounds a tad bitter, but I think I would be too. I feel bad that his hospital stay probably played a role in TBS' decision (it's like when an injured QB comes back to the backup playing well), buuuuuut it is a little childish to call out your peers like that. It's not their fault.

TBS has also released a statement in response to TBS and it's as exciting as you'd think it would be: "TBS has put together four telecast teams that we feel will best serve our national baseball audience. ... We appreciate Skip's abilities as a play-by-play announcer and look forward to his [Braves] calls for us next year on Peachtree TV, but we decided to go in another direction as we look to brand our new MLB-on-TBS playoff package."

It stinks when no one gives you any reasoning, but you have to be bigger than that Skip. This happens every year....just do better next year and hope for the best. And don't worry I'll be watching and if a Tennis/Football Announcer says something dumb you'll hear about it.

Skip Caray left off TBS' postseason lineup (Atlanta Journal Constitution)

ESPN Employs Jamie Foxx For Monday Night Intro


In ESPN's latest effort to colloborate with every movie that ever comes out will be before next week's Monday Nighter. The movie this time......Kingdom. Jamie Foxx is set to appear in the opening spot playing his character from the movie who is an FBI Agent....

In the dramatic 65-second intro, Foxx, waving a flashlight over some files, hits upon his confirmed targets: “Tom Brady [stats] - three Super Bowls, three Pro Bowls, one supermodel. Primary target - Randy Moss, fresh corn rows.”

As for Cincinnati, Foxx finds a photo of “Carson Palmer - Heisman Trophy winner, Pro Bowl MVP, cleft chin. What does that mean? Chad Johnson - you don’t want him dancing on you in the end zone.”

Jamie, channeling his on-screen G-Man, wraps up saying, “We got all we need. There’s going to be a shoot-out in The Jungle tonight.”
Hot damn! The Disnergy just can't be stopped. I can't wait for the week after when Dallas travels to Buffalo and Larry The Cable Guy figures out why they call them buffalo wings if they're actually chicken. Good times.

Our current list sits at: Die Hard 4, 3:10 to Yuma, The Game Plan and now Kingdom

Secret agent man (Boston Herald)

Update.....found a photo from the spot that I thought I'd share. Isn't JFoxx dreamy? I love a man in uniform.

Posted by Awful Announcing- at 10:05 AM 21 Comments Links to this post

Dan Dierdorf Says What We're All Thinking, Or Rather Yelling About Kornheiser

Wednesday, September 26, 2007


Far be it from me to bash Tony Kornheiser (sarcasm folks), but now his peers are taking the Monday Night Football Analyst to task. CBS' Dan Dierdorf was on the Fox Sports Radio program "Out of Bounds" today and had the following to say about his counterpart at ESPN....

“I think people tune in to watch a football game because they want to watch a football game. If they wanted to watch a stand-up comedy show on HBO, that’s where they’d go” – Dan Dierdorf (Quote via SBD)
Burrrrn. You have to take note when people in your same industry are getting soundbytes at one of your employee's expense. Or do you? I guess any press is good press in this regard.

Or as some pointed out in the comments....it's pretty bad when a terrible announcer calls out another one. Can we let them just eliminate each other?

Out Of Bounds (Fox Sports Radio)

You Create The Caption #88

(Usually) Everyday I'll throw out a photo from the AP or one of the bigger sites and you provide the caption. Hilarity ensues. I'm also adding a handful of links at the bottom of the page that you should check out each day.

Yesterday's Winners.....


"Ten bucks says that this leads tonight on SportsCenter."
Orton: "Boobies""- Anon

"Why is Kevin James playing the Tin Man? Is this some sort of cross-promotion for the King of Queens box set?"- Anon

"Kennedy: Shelley, is that a bale of hay in your pants or are you just happy to see me???"- G-Money

"The "No Heart, No Brain, No Courage" promotional campaign was not the Yankees marketing department's finest hour."- Joel
____________________________________

Are you funny enough to make a caption for this photo of the Lakers kickin' it with the Rockettes? (Via The Association)


Daily Links:


When You Ask A Group Of People If Dogfighting Is Okay, And They Respond With Cheers, Something Is Seriously Wrong (Deadspin)
Here's Your Guide To Understanding Said Town Hall Meeting (NOIS)
John Henry Is A Wacky Guy (Boston Sportz)
Jeter And A-Rod Fighting Over Dinner Tab (Warning Satire Alert) (Serious Sports Network)
Introducing People Mag's Sexiest Fan Contest (Hugging Harold Reynolds)
Paps In Playgirl? (Red Sox Monster)
The Top 5 Freak Injuries In Honor Of Milton (AZ Sports Hub)
Chinese Athletes Are Like Magicians (Blog of Hilarity)
R.I.P. Bill Wirtz (Chicago Bull)
A Pretty Funny Fantasy Football Video (Fantasy Humor)
A Long Overdue Matt Stover Tribue Video (Sons of Sam Malone)
Austria Doesn't Want It's Own Team In Euro 2008 (Lion In Oil)

Lastly......

What's with all of the mascot fights? Former JMU Alums like myself need to be outraged by this cheap shot from the mascot of Coastal Carolina. It's on Chanticleers!!!

Chicken cheapshots our beloved Duke Dog (Youtube via Campus Clicks)

NBC Football Ratings Kill And Their Fancy Website Wins An Award

Sunday Is Football Night In America is absolutely racking up the viewers every weekend. While this isn't anything new for the Sunday Night broadcast it's pretty amazing that a boring game that turned into a blowout was the most watched program since Fox's American Idol finale.

NBC earned an 11.8/19 final Nielsen rating for its “Sunday Night Football” broadcast of Cowboys-Bears this week, up 18% from a 10.0/16 for Broncos-Patriots last year. The 19.0 million viewers was up 22% over 15.6 million for Broncos-Patriots. Sunday night's game was the top-rated TV broadcast since Fox’ “American Idol” finale on May 23, and NBC's "SNF" was the top-rated program of the week for the third consecutive week.- Sports Business Daily
Also the website that NBC paid $10 million dollars for has won a major industry award. The Web Marketing Association Web Awards feature "96 industry categories and each site goes head-to-head with other sites in their categories and the highest score is selected Best of Industry winner in that category". Sunday Night Is Football Night won for "Outstanding Achievement In Website Development".

I guess you get what money buys you, but I have to admit that site is pretty amazing. Now if we could only fix the halftime show.

Sunday Night Is Football Night (NBC)

Posted by Awful Announcing- at 12:37 PM 20 Comments Links to this post