SNF Live Blog: SD-NE, 1st Quarter

Sunday, September 16, 2007

I don't know quite why. I just love that picture. Al and John have now joined us after another week of that craptastic theme, and let's do this.

I want to cut Al for calling the camera scandal "Spy-Gate." I ranted about this earlier in the week at my place, and it's still going on at every level. It's stupid and incredibly lazy. (End shameless self-promotion.)

Our first bump music: Buffalo Springfield's "For What It's Worth," and....THIS IS OUUURRR COUNTRAY! I'm not gonna make it through another season of this ad, I just know it.

Hobbs takes the kick-off, goes to the 20-something, and let's meet the Pats offense (what is Rand University? Didn't Moss go to Marshall?) Brady to Watson for nine yards right off the bat, and it's back to Watson again for the first down. I need both Moss and Wes Welker to have big days -- and, speaking of, there's a catch for Randy.

The new Charger unis aren't bad, although I wish they'd gone completely powder blue for home again.

Over/under on oral fellatio of Brady during the game: 15 instances. And there's Wes for a big gain off a Brady pass for 1st and goal!

I forgot: NE by 4 points tonight, just because they're at home. Maybe I should modify this, because Brady just hurled it to Watson for six.

"Give me Tom Brady and I wouldn't need any cameras either!" - JM, sounds vaguely dirtier than it is. 7-0, Pats.

"A song about hippies/beatniks getting their civil rights abused by police officers. I've heard it used for African Americans, Katrina, and so on. And they're using it to promote a football game. Go to Hell. Go directly to Hell. Do not pass 'Go.'" - Anon @ 8:24

Agreed, but you might have to take Stephen Stills with you.

Inauspicious beginning for Phil Rivers, as he gets picked by Roosevelt Colvin on a bad read. "Master of disguise," sayeth Michaels. I expect to see signs across the Boston area reading: "Now Performing Weekly: Colvin The Magnificent!"

SD's defense manages to keep Brady and Co. out of the end zone. While there are no moral victories, it's probably best not to go down 14-0 early. And Gostkowski misses, so the score stays as is.

Eddie Guns! Is he contractually required to work every Sunday night game? Please, let it be so. Fantasy Jesus gets his first handoff for a couple of yards after a penalty on the first snap, and we've got the right tackle for the Chargers down on the ground.

Also, back to an earlier comment about SNIFNIA. It is substantially better than the rest of the pregames. I also think their production elements and penis drawing graphics are the best in the business. - AA

I don't care who you are, that's just funny.

Randall Gay would have had that last pass by Rivers if it had been inbounds. He's totally staring at NORV!'s controller. Speaking of, we're waiting on the first instance of NORV! Face. Gates gets a 10 yard catch on third down, but they'll be punting this time. Wes Welker brings it back to around the 25, and we're breakin'.

Koolaid Maroney (I don't care if the facebook was fake, he still gets that name) takes the handoff to the 32, and Madden's talking about the defensive play wristbands. Can't we just get the D-coordinators a headset and a helmet for the middle linebackers with a radio? Welker catches another ball for a 1st down. Maroney gets the rush again for another couple of yards. Moss catches another Brady ball for 10 yards and another first -- Bolts need to get some pass penetration going, bend Brady over, pound him to the ground...

Sorry about that. False start on the Pats.

"Can you believe Ed Hoculi didn't have a postseason game last year?" No, I can't. Not only because he's entertaining to all of Blogfrica, but because he's actually good at what he does. More games with Eddie Guns as ref, please.

Wes Welker just put the juke on the SD safety for an extra seven yards and a first down on that catch. C'mon, guys, can't let a white boy do that to you -- people might think he's more than a possession receiver!

Wes Welker reminds of someone who plays with grit and passion despite his size and his whiteness. Very David Eckstein'esqe. - AA

Let me guess. He's a "good, dependable possession receiver." Just like Tim Dwight. - Anon

Right on cue, people! Grit, hard work, and determination!

Pats at the 25 of SD, and it's Brady to Moss for six. Straight cash, homies!

"The Patriots offense has been surgical in the first quarter." - AM. Kick is up and good, 14-0, Pats, and I'm going to write a pilot for an upcoming drama called "Foxboro Medical."

so i guess Brady doesn't need to have the signals in advance, just a heavy dose of Ted Cotrell's defense - Sam

It's the crapfest that keeps on giving to offenses, Sam. Gotta love retread coaches. Michael Turner runs the kickoff up to the 31, and let's see if the Chargers can do something besides embarrass themselves on this side of the ball. LDT gets three yards on the carry, and NORV! has the Alfred E. Neuman look of "What, me worry?" on his face. Tomlinson gets a first down at the 42.

Hm, delay of game on the Pats, trying to fake out the SD O-line. Fantasy Jesus for another 1st down. Adalius Thomas, down on the field. Not something the Pats want to see.

Jeezis I hate it when Al Michaels calls Brady "Tom", so informal and cute. So much love for Tom, like vomit overflowing in a urinal on the South side of Pittsburgh. - hollywood wags

Mmm....that's good bile.

Still kind of in shock that the Browns were capable of scoring 51 points today. Marvin Lewis, defensive genius, everybody!

Vincent Jackson gets a catch on the sideline. All I remember is everyone hyping him as a big fantasy threat this year, and all I can remember is how stupid he was to spin the ball on the ground in the playoffs last year when he wasn't called down....and Colvin The Magnificent smacks up Rivers and causes the FUMBLE! NE ball, as Vince Wilfork falls on it.

Anyone else disturbed by Madden calling Colvin "Rosie"? You don't call a grown-ass man "Rosie." First quarter over. I'll get a second quarter thread started, and it's 14-0, Pats.

29 Comments:

1, 2, 3, 4....

Lozo said...
Sep 16, 2007, 8:22:00 PM  

You and I are on the EXACT SAME PAGE on "(insert noun here)gate." I have been ranting on this same thing this week on blogs and message boards.

And I like how they use "For What It's Worth" to describe whatever the Hell you want to call it. A song about hippies/beatniks getting their civil rights abused by police officers. I've heard it used for African Americans, Katrina, and so on. And they're using it to promote a football game.

Go to Hell. Go directly to Hell. Do not pass "Go."

Anonymous said...
Sep 16, 2007, 8:24:00 PM  

I f'ing hate that damn commercial Lozo!!!

Sep 16, 2007, 8:25:00 PM  

Is this live-blog strictly announcing related?

Because if it isn't, it has no place on this site. Or so I'm told.

Sep 16, 2007, 8:30:00 PM  

Shit, really? Fuck me right in the ear.

Signal to Noise said...
Sep 16, 2007, 8:31:00 PM  

I know, I was shocked too.

But if you can't trust anonymous commenters, who can you trust?

Sep 16, 2007, 8:35:00 PM  

Signal to Noise,

Back to the earlier discussion. Here's what should have happened:

Bob: Which draft pick do they lose, their pick or the other pick.
Roger: They lose their original pick.
Bob: So they keep what could be a top ten pick. Well, that's not f*ing justice.
Roger: Well, we can't take away what wasn't originally theirs.
Bob: Why not? Your the f*ing commissioner! You can do whatever the f* you want!
Roger; Well... (insert talking point and spin here)
Bob: Just answer the f*ing question.

And so on. That's what we should have seen.

Anonymous said...
Sep 16, 2007, 8:37:00 PM  

OMDQ, dude, let it go.

Z said...
Sep 16, 2007, 8:37:00 PM  

Don't worry about it OMDQ. I just saw all of that talk and said my piece. Just last week someone said I should turn the site over to you because I don't post as much or as good as you.

Just keep doing what you're doing....not everyone is going to love everything you do.

Sep 16, 2007, 8:38:00 PM  

Are they going to say that this start just proves that the Patriots are a Super Bowl-caliber team, stealing signals or not? Or do they back down from it for the rest of the night?

Anonymous said...
Sep 16, 2007, 8:42:00 PM  

Also, back to an earlier comment about SNIFNIA. It is substantially better than the rest of the pregames. I also think their production elements and penis drawing graphics are the best in the business.

Sep 16, 2007, 8:42:00 PM  

Anon:

Bob Costas only has a spine when it comes to attacking Barry Bonds, or any other player easily disliked.

Challenging the power in the leagues? Ha. They only go after Selig because he makes it so easy, and there are still kid gloves on to an extent with MLB. And despite Donaghy, Stern still gets the benefit of the doubt.

Rant over.

Signal to Noise said...
Sep 16, 2007, 8:42:00 PM  

SNIFNIA is also better for the obvious reasons: They show highlights, talk about serious issues (in a glossy sort of way), limit the synergy to the Keith's WPIA, don't give us a bunch of crap like players talking about their car collections, and they don't have a bimbo weathercaster.

Although I would probably like a bimbo weathercaster.

Oh yeah. And no 10 year old analyst.

Double oh yeah. And they don't have a dozen ex-Cowboys.

Anonymous said...
Sep 16, 2007, 8:47:00 PM  

the Andrea Kramer (sp?) segement in the begining about SpyGate was overkill...did she really need to tell us NORV! treated his plays like high security government documents? on the same note, im pretty sure the Pats are gunna poop on the Chargers tonight.

GusJohnsonForGod said...
Sep 16, 2007, 8:48:00 PM  

What exactly was Billy Boy writing downs when they showed the split screen of Billy Boy and Norv?

I wonder if he'll have to hand over those notes too.

Dummy said...
Sep 16, 2007, 8:48:00 PM  

Wes Welker reminds of someone who plays with grit and passion despite his size and his whiteness. Very David Eckstein'esqe.

Sep 16, 2007, 8:48:00 PM  

Let me guess. He's a "good, dependable possession receiver."

Just like Tim Dwight.

Anonymous said...
Sep 16, 2007, 8:50:00 PM  

Eddie Gunz!!!

Sep 16, 2007, 8:50:00 PM  

Wes Welker is very Ed McAffreyish

Dummy said...
Sep 16, 2007, 8:52:00 PM  

Just like Steve Young was a lot like Drew Bledsoe.

Anonymous said...
Sep 16, 2007, 8:53:00 PM  

so i guess Brady doesn't need to have the signals in advance, just a heavy dose of Ted Cotrell's defense

Sam said...
Sep 16, 2007, 8:55:00 PM  

"Foxboro Medical."

Episode one: A single pregnant woman shows up at the ER ready to deliver. But daddy is on a date with a supermodel.

Anonymous said...
Sep 16, 2007, 8:58:00 PM  

Jeezis I hate it when Al Michaels calls Brady "Tom", so informal and cute.

So much love for Tom, like vomit overflowing in a urinal on the South side of Pittsburgh.

Pastries looking real strong.

hollywood wags said...
Sep 16, 2007, 8:59:00 PM  

Notice that the comments are pretty vanilla? It's boring when you don't have the "Mike & Mike & Mike" goldmine.

And I've said it before and I'll say it again. The "first and ten" graphic that NBC displays on the field looks like that crappy "candycorn" you get at Holloween and Thanksgiving.

Anonymous said...
Sep 16, 2007, 9:01:00 PM  

Was Philip Rivers just SMILING on the sideline, or did I misread his facial expression?

Sep 16, 2007, 9:06:00 PM  

Anon, it is a bit less of a shit storm but anything Madden is involved in has a chance to be just as fruitful.

Sep 16, 2007, 9:09:00 PM  

...comes naturally...smooth.....like silk.

Uhh, Johhnny, you're creeping me out.

Dummy said...
Sep 16, 2007, 9:10:00 PM  

See he just said Brady is like silk. How great is that?!

Sep 16, 2007, 9:10:00 PM  

Could someone tell Al Michaels to reach over to Madden's nose and start picking away?

The vibrations, clicks and rumblings from his swollen, stuffed-up honker are making me physically sick.

hollywood wags said...
Sep 16, 2007, 9:10:00 PM  

Post a Comment