The Pam Ward Chronicles: Week 1

Saturday, September 01, 2007


Welcome to the first weekly installment of The Pam Ward Chronicles. I'm going to be keeping track of the Announcing Quotes throughout the day and I ask that you join in. Please leave any that you come across in the comments.

We're starting today with a few gems from Colin Cowherd's night in the booth. As much as I can't stand the guy's voice he wasn't really THAT bad. I'm a big fan of Rob Stone and Sean McDonough and they counteracted any nonsense Cowherd or Spielman put out there.

OMDQ's goodness will still be going on below this post so be sure to check out his posts as well. Enjoy the day of football folks!

"It seemed like Syracuse’s line was better in the first 8 to 9 minutes. Now Washington’s line is better lines.”- Colin Cowherd

“Looks like Syracuse is going on for it on 4th and 7”- Sean McDounough
“What do they have to lose?”- Chris Spielman
“And here’s the quick kick again and Cuse punts it.”- SM
“That was the right call.”- CS
“You just said What do they have to lose? Which is it?”- SM

"Ohio State has to replace a High School trophy winning quarterback in Troy Smith"- Gerry DiNardo (Via Matt)

"You know when the Hokies say 'We are Virginia Tech' they're going to mean it."- Lee Corso (Via Anon)

"He did kick a 51 yarder in a JV game."- Mike Tirico on VT's kicker (there's JV in college?)

"When you play Virginia Tech you cant put your quarterback in the same spot every play". – Todd Blackledge (Via Steve)

Did ESPN really just put up stats from the VT shooting??? That's pretty bad.

"That by the deepest penetration"- PAM WARD! (Via Critical Fanatic)

"And Hans Pumping Up! the App State faithful."- Rece Davis

"I have to tell you I watched every episode of the Bachleor. You should have picked Trish."- Stan Verrett to Jesse Palmer

"Blown protection, right in the quarterback's sternum."- Bill Curry

"These officials are amazing in how often they are correct." - Bill Curry (Via Steve, and I agree...he is a gold mine)

"Frank Beamer's interior threesome"- Mike Tirico

"You're telling me when you played you never had a down performance week!"- Lou Holtz

"I drank the Kool Aid last year and picked Notre Dame."- Doug Flutie
"I think you drank more than the Kool Aid."- Craig James

"They're insuperior to Michigan"--Mark May on App State- Mark May (Via Anon)

"It's like trying to hunt a bear with a stick!"- Tim Brandt (Via Sheep's Line)

When Calvin Johnson was asked by the NBC sideline reporter if he was impressed by the team, he replied, "Oh, I'm very impressioned." (Via Signal To Noise)

"He's been more patient than Job here"- Pat Hayden (Via Steve)

"Bennett kinda scrambled like Tony Bennett"- Pat Hayden

"He goes by the nickname of Duece but right now he's been aces for Georgia Tech."- Bob Papa (Via Steve-O)

"As the quarterback you have to produce offense."- Joe Theismann being interviewed by Alex Flanagan

"That's absolutely stuffing the box"- Pat Hayden talking about the Notre Dame D

"Special Teams, they're allowed to score as well."- Pat Hayden

Jesse Palmer has called Mizzou's quarterback "Chase Daniels" about 9 times so far. (for the record, it's "Daniel")- Via Anon

"Jeremiah Johnson....Jeremiah was a bullfrog.....no?"- Anthony Newman (Oregon Sports Network)

"It's good that [Bret Bielema] is young. It's good that he's single. He's one of the guys." - Griese (Via Signal to Noise)

That is the early leader in the clubhouse! Hilarious. What the hell does that even mean?

"Get ready for a show about 3 guys not trying to reinvent the wheel because they've already invented it. Caveman about my family....Caveman watch it....funny!"- Paul Maguire

"We head to the 4th quarter and we're just about set to Jump Around at Camp Randall."- Brad Nessler
"Everyone in the stadium just stands up."- Bob Griese
(Or jumps around?)

"The Bulldogs defeated three top teams at the end of last year, including West Virginia." - Mark Jones(They did not play West Virginia, Mark. They played Virginia Tech!- Anon)

Mike Gottfried is a trainwreck (Purdue/Toledo game on ESPNU). He just yelled out Git r' Done during a Dicks Sporting Goods spot.- Via Justin

There's our friend Mike! Pam says she misses you. XOXO.

Bob Davie: "Those questions from the 1960's are not in my wheelhouse."
Mark Jones: "Not in mine, either, bro."
(Awkward silence)
Mark Jones: "Hahahaha."
More Jones (to Stan Verrett):
Mark Jones: "Stan, if this game were a bowl of gumbo you would appreciate it...'cause it's getting spicy."
Stan Verrett: "Okay, Mark."
(Via Anon)

"2 Saplings and 1 Mature Tree...3 for 1 is a very good deal if your a tree hugger" - Brent Mustberger (Via Anon)

"The university has promised to plant three for every one they cut down.Three for one is a very good deal if you're a tree-hugger."- Brent Musburger (Via Anon)

Brent Musberger, referring to a Tennessee player who made a key tackle as being "from Chattanooga . . . and he brought the choo-choo." (Via Anon)

"This is not an upset." - Lou Holtz on App State beating Michigan on College Football Final. (Via Michael)

When asked by Holly Rowe at halftime about how his new offense was working out, Bobby Bowden replied, "Our offense and defense are not working very good. It's blocking and tackling. They're blocking, and we're not. They're tackling, and we're not. If we could turn that around, we'd probably be leading." (Via Michael)

"Great catch and then he was batted around like a pinball"- Mike Patrick

"If you have a chance to tackle him you HAVE to take it"- Todd Blackledge

38 Comments:

It's a special day. Virginia Tech takes the field again, and Lee Corso puts a gigantic cock on his head.

Sheep's Line said...
Sep 1, 2007, 12:01:00 PM  

"When you play Virginia Tech you cant put your quarterback in the same spot every play". – Todd Blackledge

Steve said...
Sep 1, 2007, 12:48:00 PM  

Nothing quite like hearing Pam Ward say:

"That by the deepest penetration"

Sep 1, 2007, 1:20:00 PM  

Not a comment, but I REALLY hope that Appalachian State beats Michigan today.

I want to see Mike Tirico cry.

Anonymous said...
Sep 1, 2007, 1:28:00 PM  

did Bill Curry just say "falacious" on the air?

Steve said...
Sep 1, 2007, 1:58:00 PM  

It sounded like he said "that's a falacious thing" instead of hellacious thing.

Steve said...
Sep 1, 2007, 1:59:00 PM  

These officials are amazing in how often they are correct. - Bill Curry

This dude's a gold mine.

Steve said...
Sep 1, 2007, 2:04:00 PM  

Tirico's starting to get bitter about Michigan. He just talked about how stupid the new 1AA division name is before they went to commercial.

Anonymous said...
Sep 1, 2007, 2:39:00 PM  

They still manage to go on and on about Michael Vick. Unbelieveable.

Ehh, believeable on second thought

RyanMcD29 said...
Sep 1, 2007, 3:12:00 PM  

Pam Ward "Jehuu Calcrick wins the Bentley award, and you can't argue with his numbers"

Ray Bentley "And you can't argue with where he came from either"

(BTW..Jenuhuu is from Liberia

Matt said...
Sep 1, 2007, 3:18:00 PM  

"They're insuperior to Michigan"--Mark May on App State

Anonymous said...
Sep 1, 2007, 3:30:00 PM  

Tim Brant: It's like trying to hunt a bear with a stick!

Sheep's Line said...
Sep 1, 2007, 3:37:00 PM  

Just a little bit of fun here: ESPN is already reporting that if Appalachian State makes it all the way to the 1-AA championship game this year, Michigan should get a rematch.

Anonymous said...
Sep 1, 2007, 4:04:00 PM  

When Calvin Johnson was asked by the NBC sideline reporter if he was impressed by the team, he replied, "Oh, I'm very impressioned."

I'm not impressioned by the Georgia Tech academic tutors for athletes.

Signal to Noise said...
Sep 1, 2007, 4:08:00 PM  

He's been more patient than Job here - Pat Hayden

Now there's more biblical figures playing for the Irish.

Steve said...
Sep 1, 2007, 4:25:00 PM  

Pat Haden, the (pre Republican-sellout) Dennis Miller of college football.

Anonymous said...
Sep 1, 2007, 4:29:00 PM  

He goes by the nickname of Duece but right now he's been aces for Georgia Tech. - PBP guy who's name escapes me

Steve said...
Sep 1, 2007, 4:47:00 PM  

The ENTIRE Joe Theismann interview with Alex Flanagan.to quote the geico caveman. "uh, what?"

Steve said...
Sep 1, 2007, 5:09:00 PM  

Evan Sharpley has his helmet on Jimmy Claussen does not and that's usually pretty evident on who is going to play. - Pat Hayden

Steve said...
Sep 1, 2007, 5:17:00 PM  

Jesse Palmer has called Mizzou's quarterback "Chase Daniels" about 9 times so far. (for the record, it's "Daniel")

Anonymous said...
Sep 1, 2007, 5:18:00 PM  

"I threw him (Paul Maguire) out of the booth. I got tired of all the sounds and smells." - Bob Griese

Guess Paul ordered chili dogs in the booth again.

Signal to Noise said...
Sep 1, 2007, 5:38:00 PM  

"It's good that [Bret Bielema] is young. It's good that he's single. He's one of the guys." - Griese

WTF?

Signal to Noise said...
Sep 1, 2007, 5:43:00 PM  

Mark Jones on UGA:

"The Bulldogs defeated three top teams at the end of last year, including West Virginia."

(They did not play West Virginia, Mark. They played Virginia Tech!)

Anonymous said...
Sep 1, 2007, 7:09:00 PM  

Update: Jones just said UGA beat yet West Virginia again.

Anonymous said...
Sep 1, 2007, 7:12:00 PM  

Mike Gottfried is a trainwreck (Purdue/Toledo game on ESPNU). He just yelled out Git r' Done during a Dicks Sporting Goods spot.

justin said...
Sep 1, 2007, 7:31:00 PM  

Earlier today, Tirico said that

"ECU have to get the ball twice to come back from behind 10".

Seriously, is there a way to come back from ahead?

Mookie said...
Sep 1, 2007, 7:47:00 PM  

Bob Davie: "Those questions from the 1960's are not in my wheelhouse."

Mark Jones: "Not in mine, either, bro."

(Awkward silence)

Mark Jones: "Hahahaha."




More Jones (to Stan Verrett):

Mark Jones: "Stan, if this game were a bowl of gumbo you would appreciate it...'cause it's getting spicy."

Stan Verrett: "Okay, Mark."

Anonymous said...
Sep 1, 2007, 8:24:00 PM  

OK...not a comment...but can someone tell me why Jesse Palmer's faux hawk looks so weird in high definition?

Matt said...
Sep 1, 2007, 8:26:00 PM  

"2 Saplings and 1 Mature Tree...3 for 1 is a very good deal if your a tree hugger" - Brent Mustberger

Anonymous said...
Sep 1, 2007, 8:56:00 PM  

Brent Musberger talking about the tree-huggers behind Berkley's stadium, one of whom claimed that the tree was a war memorial, WWI to be exact...

"You know, this stadium was built in 1923, and when I went to school, World War One was fought before that."

Incoherent, condescending, completely missed the point. Good job, Brent. Have another drink.

P.S."The university has promised to plant three for every one they cut down.Three for one is a very good deal if you're a tree-hugger."

Brent, again.

Anonymous said...
Sep 1, 2007, 8:56:00 PM  

Brent Musberger, referring to a Tennessee player who made a key tackle as being "from Chattanooga . . . and he brought the choo-choo."

Anonymous said...
Sep 1, 2007, 11:24:00 PM  

I have no idea if this is live or not, but Bill Walton has to be high for this Brazil-Argentina game. If he's not, he needs to stop boxing.

We have been treated to a lecture on how Brazil is destroying the rainforests and giving the wood to China, and then a geology lesson that explained how earthquakes don't happen in Brazil, so it's impossible to say that they look as shaken as someone that went through an earthquake.

I'm not sure if that's correct because I couldn't understand what the hell was going on.

Anonymous said...
Sep 2, 2007, 12:24:00 AM  

"This is not an upset." - Lou Holtz on App State beating Michigan on College Football Final.

"Lou, the fact that ESPN still has you around is an upset." - Me.

Michael said...
Sep 2, 2007, 12:50:00 AM  

yes college athletics have JV games for the younger players and redshirt guys so they can get some game "experience"

the great bambi said...
Sep 2, 2007, 4:06:00 PM  

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Sep 2, 2007, 5:43:00 PM  

Lou Holtz attempts to comment on AA as "isabellawilliams." "You young whipperthnappers wiffyur comphuthers andyur LOLthpeek!"

DigitalHeadbutt said...
Sep 3, 2007, 6:26:00 PM  

When asked by Holly Rowe at halftime about how his new offense was working out, Bobby Bowden replied, "Our offense and defense are not working very good. It's blocking and tackling. They're blocking, and we're not. They're tackling, and we're not. If we could turn that around, we'd probably be leading." Clemson led 31-3.

Michael said...
Sep 3, 2007, 10:07:00 PM  

Paraphrased:

Mike Patrick: Delay of game. See that’s the fault of the center, a true freshman.
Todd Blackledge: It’s really the QB’s fault. He’s gotta get the team out of the huddle faster.
Mike Patrick: It’s really hard to blame the center, since he’s a true freshman.

Sorry, I wasn't watching it on the DVR:)

Gangsta D said...
Sep 4, 2007, 8:03:00 AM  

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