NBA All-Star Game Live Blog- 1st Quarter

Sunday, February 18, 2007














Going live at 8pm.....you don't have anything better to do on a Sunday Night right? Join me won't you? Also, don't head to TNT early or you'll get Rush Hour 2.....that would ruin a man's night if he saw that.

EAST STARTERS- Shaq, Bosh, Lebron, Arenas, Wade
WEST STARTERS- Duncan, Garnett, Kobe, Yao, McGrady

8pm- Oh Wow this intro is BAAAAAAAD! The wise janitor takes us through the basketball oasis. "We always knew they would come. All we had to do was build it"

We're live from the Thomas and Mack Center.....The Hoff, Queen Latifah, James Denton, Michelle Wie, and Dennis Miller are all on hand, and I hope you are too.

Craig Sager is in his Sunday Best looking like a Vegas Pit Boss. Bron has a hat that lights up. The damn game doesn't start for another 40 minutes!?!?!?! Hope you're ready for a long night. Magic, EJ, Kenny, and Barkley on the pregame and half. Your Announcers.......Marv Albert, Steve Kerr, and F'ing Doug Collins......great......way to ruin a great team. It never fails.

For some reason Jay-Z is sitting in front of Beyonce. Trouble brewing?

Shaq break-dancing is one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Good stuff.

Roy looks pretty rough still from that tiger attack. Wayne Newton comes out with about 70 show girls.....this is getting a bit ridiculous. How much do you think of his face is actually real?

"Tha Ballaz Representing Tha EAST!"......Sorry East....but you're getting killed. Oh god.....Wayne is singing again, and singing I feel Good......"This is for you James". Now we're playing with fire. NOW HE'S PLAYING VIOLIN!!!!!!!!! Las Vegas Everyone!

Sorry, I forgot Yao was out.....don't know how that could have happened since he's only been out for 3 months. Damn Crystal Meth messin' with my head again.

MORE WAYNE! Shoot me now........I CAN'T Wait for Christina Ags at halftime. I think Wayne Newton was faking that whole thing. Some chick from Cirque Du' Soleil sings the Canadian National Anthem (the roommate boos as he's playing Madden in the other room.....Madden 2006 mind you). Danny Gans????? Sings the National Anthem.......come on NBA. Pull Beyonce out of the crowd or something.....these dudes are baaaaaad.

Thanks for that Danny Gans.....GAMETIME AFTER THE BREAK!!!!!!

Thanks Lebron.....great introduction. I've got Mehmet Okur as MVP.....who you got? (I really have Wade)

East wins the tip and we're underway. Arenas bricks a three....HIBACHI! Doug Collins already won't shut up.....did you know he coached Jordan? He'll tell you that 40 times tonight. Lotta bricks early....that over of 253 isn't looking so hot. Shaq bricks a dunk, and I think it's time for Howard.

Duncan's in the game??? I thought he was taking a nap on the baseline. 10-4 as the first subs come into the game. Shawn Marion in for Dirk and scores right away......what up UNLV! Arenas hits a three and bests his 1pt. effort from last year.

Someone just yelled like a girl on a rebound....my bet is Bosh.

Gilbert, Kobe, and Wade all dunk in a row, and now we're playing! Kobe's was pretty money. Sloppy start, but we're getting going now.

Hey David Aldridge.....where ya been? TNT keeps t Jason kid on the screen as we miss two plays. Lebron does a massive reverse slam, and more subs come into the game. Steve Kerr does a nice job explaining the Jason Kidd trade situation. Vince will go before him. Dwight and Josh Howard in, and D-Wight.......sends it home without touching the top of the backboard

15-14.....6 mins left.

Shawn Marion offensive goaltends about 4 times, but they aren't calling that. Carmelo in and he hits his first shot. Jermaine O'Neal tips the ball into his own basket after a Josh Howard miss.

(This game is so damn hard to keep up with. My wrists are going to be dead tomorrow.....no.....not because of that! You have a dirty mind!)

West 22-17.

Lebron tries an off-the-glass move and is almost killed. Then he air-balls a three. KING JAMES EVERYONE!

Melo with another jumper, and Dwight Howard throws home a missed Billups shot. Howard Again!

Timeout 30-23 West.

Wow....did anyone see that Sprite Lebron Paint Ball Commercial?!?!?! F'ing weird. Midgets doing cannonballs in the pool very sweet though.

Marv takes us through the throw it off the backboard to yourself timeline......very important stuff. MEHMET!!!!!!!!!!!! OKUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRR!!!!

Doug Collins inexplicably says that "Mehment Okur reminds him of Carmelo Anthony last year." Umm what!?!?!

Early MVP Candidate.........Carmelo Anthony. Vince Carter is a big fan of the twirl. Rip Hamilton gets a score, and Tony Parker scores to close out the quarter.

39-31 West......see you in a new thread folks.

Posted by Awful Announcing- at 7:26 PM

17 Comments:

Craig Sager borrowed his sport coat from Mike Ditka's closet and had it re-tailored.

Blech.

Signal to Noise said...
Feb 18, 2007, 8:05:00 PM  

Ooh, smack: "Charles, I gotta ask: whose blazer is uglier: Craig's or Damon Jones'?"

Signal to Noise said...
Feb 18, 2007, 8:14:00 PM  

shaq - "me and charles are tight like pantyhose"

Feb 18, 2007, 8:15:00 PM  

singing of the national anthem with a "vegas flavor?"

Feb 18, 2007, 8:23:00 PM  

http://youtube.com/watch?v=I-UJXCw6vyk

Anonymous said...
Feb 18, 2007, 8:26:00 PM  

Wayne Newton's voice sounds like he was out partying just as hard as Charles last night.

Signal to Noise said...
Feb 18, 2007, 8:28:00 PM  

Sigfried and Roy may have been the most hilariously awkward moment in sports in a very long time.

That Guy said...
Feb 18, 2007, 8:28:00 PM  

I refuse to believe I just saw Wayne Newton playing the violin and making James Brown's embalmed body spin like s gyroscope.

Someone must have slipped LSD in my beer. Yeah, that's it.

Signal to Noise said...
Feb 18, 2007, 8:38:00 PM  

O Canada? Nash isn't even playing!

Feb 18, 2007, 8:39:00 PM  

the camera just caught wayne newtons blatantly lip synching. Between that and Sigfried and Roy this has to be the most unintentionally hilarious pregame in sports history

Feb 18, 2007, 8:40:00 PM  

I wonder who the MVP of this game was last year

Grimey said...
Feb 18, 2007, 8:48:00 PM  

what an ugly start!! every player looks like they are completely hung over from 3 straight nights of groupies and the ghostbar

Feb 18, 2007, 8:52:00 PM  

grimey it was lebron wasnt it?

Feb 18, 2007, 8:53:00 PM  

Yeah, courtside announcer Mason mentioned it a few times.

And first mention of the kidd divorce!

Grimey said...
Feb 18, 2007, 9:01:00 PM  

And LeBron tries to kill himself.

Grimey said...
Feb 18, 2007, 9:04:00 PM  

Vince Carter, showman.

Signal to Noise said...
Feb 18, 2007, 9:12:00 PM  

Good Wade - Bad Wade Gatorade ad is an early contender for my new personal favorite.

The Good Wade looked like Urkel.

Signal to Noise said...
Feb 18, 2007, 9:15:00 PM  

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