Update: Zero Teams Interested in Allen Iverson

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Or so says Scoop Jackson. I can't believe that this hack still has a job. I've only enjoyed one article of his ever (The Rucker HOF one), and I routinely get mad after reading anything else. Not like "I don't enjoy this writer" Mad.....but "I f'ing hate this f'er" Mad.

Side note: I know that I shouldn't be the one to harp on this, but please....PLEASE!.... Stop with the one/two sentence paragraphs. It's very annoying, and destroys the flow of an article. And no I'm not picking on African-American writers. Even though Scoop and SAS are famous for it....Bill Plaschke perfected it. And he's as white as they come.

Anywho, Scoop is weighing in on Allen Iverson.....Let's see what he has to say....."Neither Side Will Like The Answer"

After being shopped – honestly – for six years (especially if you include the summer of 2000, when the Sixers tried to trade him less than a year before he would take them to the NBA Finals and win the MVP award), Allen Iverson has finally reached that point most parties reach in a broken marriage.
Scoopster....first off let's get something straight. If you are going to use parenthesis don't put the worst run-on sentence ever inside them. And two, don't make the entry longer than the rest of your paragraph! It defeats the whole purpose of parentheticals. Also, we don't need the honestly....everyone and their mom knows this. It's not like you're breaking new ground here.
They've been done. He's literally done. The differences are beyond irreconcilable … it's Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston time.
What differences? Is it the fact that he is tough to coach and somtimes doesn't show up to practice??? Because if that's the case any team he goes to....will have the same problems. Or are the differences the fact that he hates management, is on the one of the worst teams in the NBA, and he needs a change of scenery. Because if that's the case, those aren't exactly differences they are problems.....you are comparing apples to oranges here.
But there's one problem: No one wants him. For so many reasons that have nothing to do with basketball, it seems none of the 29 teams outside the 215 area code want anything to do with Allen Iverson.
Umm what??? Are you kidding me?!?!?! I'm confused. Why then are there at least nine reported teams involved in trade talks with the Sixers?
Why? Because the only difference in today and almost every offseason this century is "the demand." The one that AI apparently put on Sixers GM Billy King when he walked into his office Tuesday and verbally cosigned his walking papers.
Oh okay.....wait.....cosigned his papers? There needs to be two people to CO-sign something, or you can sign for someone else. I'm confused. And the the word "in" does not need to be there....extra words confuse me (and apparently his editors).
Ever since he came into the NBA in 1996, Iverson has done things he was not supposed to be able to do. Every season, he has proved people wrong.
Scoop....buddy.....he was the first pick of the 2006 Draft. I think you can safely say he has lived up to that pretty big burden. He hasn't succeeded because he has done things he wasn't supposed to do, but because he did the things he WAS supposed to do (and more).
Still they doubt. Still they say that one day his smoke and mirrors will be exposed, the David Blaine act over. He has been over-the-hill, over and done with, over and out'd since he was 25. He's 31. He's 16 months younger than Steve Nash. But you'll never hear any GM concerned over trading for Nash, reluctant because his game is on the verge of falling off.
Just a dumb dumb dumb argument. First of all you can't compare the two players. They play two different styles of ball and they play different positions, but hell let's do it anyway(s). Is the reason they would take Nash over Iverson because he's over-the-hill as you say, or because he's hard to coach? Or is it because he misses practice and team functions? Because his style of play paves the way for more injuries? Or even that his body has to be that of a 70-year old by now?...............Or because Nash is a pass first point guard and two time MVP?
P.S.- The race card is bullshit if you have no backing when you use it.
So, let it be said that the Allen Iverson Sweepstakes will not be the bidding war that many would expect for a player of his brilliance. Instead, the unfortunate dark side of the game is about to reveal itself in the form of 15 teams fighting not to make a trade for Allen Iverson.
Let it be said that you are an ass. I have only the slightest idea of the point he is trying to make, but he does the worst job in trying to make it. And how did we go from zero teams to 15 in 500 words?
Sit back and watch how one of the game's best players gets treated in the open market. See how a player of Iverson's value learns how hypocritical "value" can be in the business of the NBA.
"Hypocritical Value"?!?!?!?!?!?! What in the world does that mean. Well I'll try to define it for you.....

Hypocritical- adj., a person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess

Value- noun, relative worth, merit, or importance.

Hypocritical Value- A term used completely wrong by a hack writer that makes zero sense.

The term is meant for the "sociological" value....i.e. the ideals, customs, institutions, etc., of a society toward which the people of the group have an affective regard. Not for the monetary/trade value that you are using it with. How about going with devalued, weakened, watered-down, weakened, or even depreciated if you want to stick with the Economic angle.

P.S.- Who did you try to steal that term from Karl Marx?

Posted by Awful Announcing- at 12:09 PM

7 Comments:

Read this sentence one more time...

See how a player of Iverson's value learns how hypocritical "value" can be in the business of the NBA.

He's not saying 'hypocritical value.' He's saying 'hypocritical "value."'

This still doesn't excuse the fact that the whole article is nonsense, but yeah.

fpandy said...
Dec 13, 2006, 5:15:00 PM  

You're right. I didn't read it correctly, but he's still using it in the wrong context.

You cannot use value=worth with the word hypocritical.

Good eye though.

Awful said...
Dec 13, 2006, 5:23:00 PM  

The best part about the article is that even if you assume Scoop's asinine premise, (no team will give the Sixers proper trade value for AI because all teams hate black people) he still fails to deliver his conclusion. In no way does this negatively impact AI in any reasonably deleterious way.

In the worst case (from AI's perspective) he's stuck playing out a contract he signed for the team he signed it with. No matter how much the Sixers suck, you'd be hard pressed to define that as "unfair". If Philly does make a trade, but only gets back shitty players because AI is so undervalued, that doesn't hurt AI either, it hurts the Sixers.

It takes a special kind of journalist to be wrong even if he's right.

Adam said...
Dec 13, 2006, 11:58:00 PM  

Here's why Scoop Jackson sucks so hard: when you compare his column on Iverson to Bill Simmons', Simmons is the better writer BY FAR.

And I hate writing that about Simmons most of the time.

C. said...
Dec 14, 2006, 12:28:00 PM  

It's sad how many hyperboles and contradictions that Pooper Scooper goes for in an article every time he writes. Much like everyone in the US, I agreed with his Holcombe Rucker article. Everything else he or Jemele (In my opinion, the female Scoop or 2nd Oprah. Choose one.) has done is completely full of shit...

Rich said...
Dec 14, 2006, 2:16:00 PM  

Yeah, while he gushes a little too much over him, Simmons' article on AI was pretty dead on. Team's would be absolutely retarded not to trade for him.

Then again over half of the NBA teams are run by general nitwits so.....

Chip Wesley said...
Dec 14, 2006, 2:34:00 PM  

A little off topic, but I had just one thought after reading the Simmons column on Iverson yesterday:

When did these two start dating?

Okay, a second thought:

Does anyone else love the fact that Simmons singles out his two favorite teams - the Clippers and Celtics - as the absolute best spots for Iverson to end up?

Brian said...
Dec 14, 2006, 2:42:00 PM  

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