Live Blog Tonight- Bengals v. Colts

Monday, December 18, 2006

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Here We Go Again- More From Scoop":

Remember when you used to talk about the announcing? Now is the time to strike, given all of the meaningless games in the NFL and all of the inane / rambling / hype -machine jackassess spewing ridiculousness all over each and ever one of them. Right now - the last two weeks and until after the Super Bowl post-game is over - is when your site has the most potential. Ripping into the ESPN.com guys and all of this other stuff is monotonous (and way, way prone to rambling in itself) but more importantly, doesn't play to your strengths as a writer or a news destination. Criticize piss-poor announcing and make us all laugh like you did for the first 8 weeks of the season. Please. Sorry.

Well, Well, Well Mr. Anonymous. Aren't we a little pushy??? Just kidding. Mr. Anon is a tad bit right though. While I don't agree with his opinion of the ESPN.com stuff (some can be funny and it's always fun to pile on.).......I haven't been going in with "All Guns Blazing". So to speak. So as an early Christmas present to you.....I'm going back to what got me here. All Announcers All The Time.

We'll be starting with tonight's live-blog of the MNF Crew and tomorrow with the opening Bowl Game.....the Poinsettia Bowl. So get some Nog and/or Cider and join me by the AA Fireplace this fine eve around 8. We'll sing carols, exchange gifts, and lay into Mike, Joseph, and Anthony.




For my secret Santa gift I've got someone these. HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!!

8:30- And we're live after the commercial. Let's do this thing. "Colts 60 Bengals 50"- Berman

Asst Coach from Rudy talks trash to Ocho Stinko. Simon says snap the damn ball. Umm what?

Ben Stiller on the helmet, and is just flat out awful. Ugh....here we go.......

Linemen turn into trucks in the Matrix in case you didn't know.

BANH BANH BANH....DO DO DO DO.

8:37- Every Monday there's a battle.....16 Weeks, 16 Trucks, 16 Winners.

ROBERT FERGUSON.....TOUCHDOWN!!!

Can they drag out the start to this thing anymore?

Rowr! Let's hope BJ can pick up 90 points again tonight.

8:41- "I thought who dey was for New Orleans"- TK
"It's who dat"- JT
"As long as it's now Who-Tey.....like Hootie and the Blowfish"- TK

OH YES! Here we go. It's after 8pm and Tony is no longer funny.

"Ain't yo daddy so I don't know Whoyamammais"- Chad Johnson

Rudy fumbles early and Ocho Cinco falls on it. "He's only ever lost one in his career"- TK
Good stat Tony.....keep it up. I'm rooting for you. (Not really)

8:47-Damn look at those shoes! Merton Hanks is a dick.....fined Chad for the most awesomest kicks ever created. Pic tomorrow.

Joe calls the replay as incomplete after the fact. Good job Joe.

God this game is slow as hell already.....they're even putting time back on the clock. Guys/Gals....we're going to be here until 3am.

8:50- Damn Damn Damn......Carson is killed by Freeney. Turnover grabbed by Bogger McFarland. Colts ball in Cincy territory.

8:56- Internet is going in and out because of the windy conditions here in AA land.....bear with me for a bit.

Rashard Jenty....The Human Missle???? Umm okay. Who's Rashard Jentry?

8:59- Timeout Colts.......make that 4am.

FYI- Another early present to you all.......Word verification should be off in the comments. Someone verify for me, and let's get crazy.

Yeah!!!! A FG....now we're scoring.

3-0 Colts.

Another FYI for you in need of a fantasy QB.....Tavaris Jackson is starting for the Vikings this weekend.

9:03- Shut that damn Nintendo Kid the hell up!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Michele Tafoya calls Anthony McFarland......Evan McFarland. Didn't Evan McFarland play basketball for the Oklahoma State Cowboys???

9:08- Joe goes with the Chad Johnson Resurgance angle for the fifth time already tonight.

And Rudi finally shows us why the Colts are ranked last in Rush Defense. As Cato June Kaelin

"If they held him longer they'd be married in some cultures."- TK, You are not funny.

So much for 100-99.......they better open this shiz up in the second half.

Another Field Go Attempt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!

3-3 Game.


9:16- WWE Raw from DC on USA.....in case there's too many points being scored in this game for your taste.

Fun Fact- I actually picked up Ben Utecht in a fantasy league.

First Quarter Over: 33-33 Tie Game.......er, there might be some extra threes in there somewhere.



The Mannings would like you to drink Milk, but only if they can trade Kool-Aid, Tang, and a pick to be named.

9:23- Tony's pretty quiet tonight.....I'm kind of worried.

BJ has left a new comment on your post "Live Blog Tonight- Bengals v. Colts": The Knicks are beating the Jazz right now going into the 4th quarter

Wow. Whodathunkit?

FANENE! Oh no you didn't!


TD.......Manning to Harrison. Does that sound familiar???


10-3 Colts. Rush takes us break! Nice ESPN....."Fly by night....."


Do you think Rashard "The Missle" Jentry has a fat head?


HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY IN THE BOOTH AFTER THE BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS MY LIFE'S DREAM!


"You are a big Redskins fan"- MT
"Oh Yeah....started with Cowboys Indians and then I loved Hamburgers and Chris Hamburger and then on to Joe Theismann"- MMc
"Ooh I like that"- JT


Matty Mc is quiet as hell. Know your role Matt! You are a star....speak up!


Dwight Freeney is a man's man.


"We're already seeing Vince as a leader"- MMc from the closest camera angle ever.


"I've sat next to the sexiest man alive before but it's usually Joe. At least this person has actually been voted for"- TK
"And is actually sexy"- MT
Whoa Mikey. The sexual harassment thing is still on everyone's mind. Be Careful.


TD Rudi J.


10-10.


9:42- Seriously the commercials during this game are ridiculous. Every two seconds I swear.


Brian has left a new comment on your post "Live Blog Tonight- Bengals v. Colts": McConaughey was introduced, then oddly quiet for about five minutes. In that time, was he: a) passed out with his head in Mike Tirico's lap; b) banging a redhead who happened to catch his eye; or c) playing his bongos


D) All of the Above


BJ has left a new comment on your post "Live Blog Tonight- Bengals v. Colts": I just walked it out. They need to play that song every commerial break.


Damn Straight....or you do the Heizzzzzman on that Ho!


9:45- Here comes the movie spot.......Damn Matt is so smooth. Brings up Katrina and 9-11.....I think I just got moist. I'm just saying.


"I've always loved the psychology of sport. Football is the ultimate team sport. If one out of eleven is off....you know where the leak in the bucket is"- MMc


.....and just like that he's gone......."Just keep livin".


9:50- Manning runs for 14 yards and hell freezes over.


Brian has left a new comment on your post "Live Blog Tonight- Bengals v. Colts": Even as great as Matthew McConaughey just was, I still feel cheated, like he could have been better. If ESPN can't even get it right with Wooderson in the booth, what hope is there for the future of this franchise?


A-F'ing-Men Brian. I don't even care about life anymore.


Commercial!!!!!!!!!!!


52-29 Nuggets over the Wizards......maybe the fight did the teams some good.


9:56- "Interestingly enough Peyton Manning looks at all the receivers"- JT, Really??? That's a great idea for a QB.....you should have a training video Joe.


Timeout.......and the upset of the night........no commercial.


Manning......Harrison......Touchdown.


17-10....Colts.


Now we're scoring.


Joshua has left a new comment on your post "Live Blog Tonight- Bengals v. Colts": I think we should replace TK with McConaughey. I know TK is trying to be witty and amusing all the time, but I think as viewers, we would benefit much more from deep philosophical insights such as "keep livin'" all while trying to avoid being the "leak in the bucket" of life.


Just an FYI that this comment is the early favorite for "Comment of Night".


Half......17-10


Wait.....no. One more play for the Bengals. Good call Marv.


And that's the half.....for real. Break time. See you in a few. If anyone hears Berman say anything stupid please post it.


AND WE'RE BACK!


10:15- 2nd Half underway.


Bengals stuff the Colts on the first drive of the second half. Questionable run on 4th down there.

10:24- And then the Bengals make the exact same mistake by running on third and a yard.

Seriously.....stop running the ball.


17-13 Colts.

Knicks beat the Jazz....in OT. Wow.

10:30- Again with the Rush.....ESPN is screwing up again with the song purchases. The use "Fly By Night" thinking the ball will be flung around all over the place.

Why would you ever put up an AFC Finalist Banner? That's just stupid. It's like rubbing it in Peyton's face that he is Awful in the playoffs.

Addai for about 40 yards and gets hurt.

I know I'm probably not the first person to call them this, but the Denver Thuggets are up 77-61 in the third.

10:34- Ad Nausum.......Peyton......Harrison.........TD.


24-13 Peyton.

Joshua has left a new comment on your post "Live Blog Tonight- Bengals v. Colts":

TK, I underestimate your power of reasoning and logical deduction. I knew the Colts were scoring touchdowns, but I had no idea that "Cincinnati is going to have to score more than field goals to catch up." You my friend, are the epitome of everything a color commentator should be. I retract my request to replace you with Mr. McConaughey, because while his looks may be sexy, your commentary is far sexier.


On top of that.....

"Carson Palmer feels the need to score here"- TK, Umm yeah. right

10:45- Joseph Addai is probably out.......and his mom doesn't watch his game.

"She almost fainted once when he was bit by a dog."- Michele Tafoya

FYI- I've never seen a more important game feel like it was getting less important by the minute. It just feels like week one all over again. I mean even the announcers are getting bored.

"Peyton Manning hasn't gone downfield because he hasn't had to. His receivers haven't had a miscue."- JT, this comes two minutes after Joe blammed the receivers for Peyton's three incompletions. God he is the king of double-speak.

10:50- Manning......to Wayne..........TD

31-13.....Turn Out The Liiiiiiiiiights.

Chad Johnson is out of the game. A contusion of some sorts.

10:53- I have no idea why the Bengals are still trying to run the ball.

As I say that they screen to Kenny Watson.....FROM?!?!?!........and he picks up about 50.

31-13.......Colts. End of the third.

The Rehab of Chili Palmer begins now! Let's go Cincy!

"Here's the decision Marvin Lewis has to make. You have to kick the FG here and let your defense stop them"- JT, Umm what game are you watching? I don't see much stopping Joe.

DeeeeeeeeSiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiRE! Yeah U2!

31-16 Peytons.

Thuggets were up 30.......Wizards have cut the lead to 3. Wow. Having no bench will do that to you. And Gilbert just mean mugged the Pepsi Center.

11:03- "Don't give up the big play.....we can still win this."- Bengals D Coordinator, Umm yeah....not sure about that one.

Bengals ball at the 50........do something please.

Chad Johnson's back in the lineup. And Marvin Harrison is now hurting......looks like a jammed finger.

Brian has left a new comment on your post "Live Blog Tonight- Bengals v. Colts": Guys, I'm only half paying attention to this game...but did Theismann just correctly call a replay review?

Ummm......I'd give that a maybe. The jury is still out on that one.

11:16- Update: Is it just me or has Tony K. not said a word in this second half? It's like....as soon as Matthew McConaughey left the booth he just took a nap.

FA!NENE!

11:21- Ricky Proehl is wide open and Peyton throws behind him.....Joe blames it on the fact that "Ricky just doesn't know the offense well enough to sit down on that route." Never ever the QB's fault Joe.

Interesting note: The Bengals have a total of 52 return yards. On 7 Returns.

11:26- The Bengals offense looks stagnant......just an awful game.

Freeney again with a Forced Fumble and it's still Bengals ball.

AND THEY PUNT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! What??? That makes no sense with 4 minutes left. Absolutely none.

Joshua has left a new comment on your post "Live Blog Tonight- Bengals v. Colts":

Right now, Matthew McConaughey is... A) Admiring himself in a mirror a'la Uncle Jesse B) Reading the works of Plato C) Banging a hot chick D) Drooling over his newly acquired Theismann autographed 8X10 You decide.

Damn that's tough. I'd have to go with C.....when is he not banging chicks. But there's a possibility for an E though.....Banging a hot chick while drooling over his newly acquired Theismann photo.

11:31- Peyton likes to lick his hand.

ESPN in a classy move has a montage of Lamar Hunt when everyone has already tuned the game out. You stay classy Leader.

11:36- 2 minute warning and the Bengals are running the ball. Good call Marvin.

"Bengals get to the sideline with about 44 to go"- MT, Yeah Mike....I know you're tired, but it's a minute 44 to go.

11:42- Oh god I'm falling fast......Is that Tony talking or Matt?????

Watson runs out the clock, and the Bengals are bitches. That was a horrible performance, but more importantly play calling.

COLTS 34-BENGALS 16

And I'm out like Tony Kornheiser in a broadcast. Thanks for the comments and I'll see you tomorrow.

Posted by Awful Announcing- at 4:31 PM

66 Comments:

Live blog tonight...?

Looks like I have to:

a) take a nap beforehand;
b) skip the game and get some sleep so I'll be functional at work tomorrow; or
c) pick up about 64 ounces of Mountain Dew and hammer my body with caffeine for the next six to eight hours

See you at 8:30.

Brian said...
Dec 18, 2006, 5:12:00 PM  

I'm down by 34 with TJ Housh left to play. Even given the Colts' sucky defense, I know there's no way I should win tonight, but that was the case last week also. Just checking in for the AA karma.

BJ said...
Dec 18, 2006, 5:39:00 PM  

Wow, try not to fall asleep live blogging the Pointsetta Bowl

Marco said...
Dec 18, 2006, 5:51:00 PM  

bj - I share a team with my brother. We're down 62 with Reggie Wayne, Shayne Graham and Rudi Johnson left to play.

Hopefully the Bengals decide to use the Jacksonville approach and run Rudi up the gut fifty times...that should be good for four hundred yards, right?

Brian said...
Dec 18, 2006, 7:23:00 PM  

At least. Hopefully Rudi will keep running it to the 1 yard line and they will throw quick slants to TJ for the TD's.

BJ said...
Dec 18, 2006, 8:18:00 PM  

Don't worry, there'll be plenty of points to go around. My final score prediction for tonight is 82-79.

Okay, no idea who that sideline reporter who spoke before Sal Pal was, but didn't he bear a striking resemblance to Mark McGwire?

Brian said...
Dec 18, 2006, 8:23:00 PM  

That was sweet having both the pre-game "guests" rip on Payton in that opening. I thought Stiller's Payton dancing was hilarious.

Dec 18, 2006, 8:35:00 PM  

they can re-gift chad's cleats to me :)

Anonymous said...
Dec 18, 2006, 8:50:00 PM  

little known fact that JT is a watchmaker.

Lord Nero said...
Dec 18, 2006, 8:50:00 PM  

did he just say busy balls?

Anonymous said...
Dec 18, 2006, 8:55:00 PM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lord Nero said...
Dec 18, 2006, 8:56:00 PM  

Well, now we know what sucks worse than anything else in football:

Waiting an hour for a game to start, then having to wait out an official review within the first three minutes.

Brian said...
Dec 18, 2006, 8:58:00 PM  

Im thinking that TK is doing tree trunks of blow, and in the second half we will all wish that he would shut the hell up.

Lord Nero said...
Dec 18, 2006, 9:02:00 PM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dec 18, 2006, 9:03:00 PM  

Word verification is indeed off. It's kinda like taking the 7 second delay off on local sports talk radio. This could ugly.

This does help though. Cause the more a person (I) drinks the harder it is for him (me) to see those letters in the word verification.

Jay said...
Dec 18, 2006, 9:04:00 PM  

Word verification is off.

Does this mean JT can now post a comment?

Dec 18, 2006, 9:05:00 PM  

Whoooooooo!

No word verification! Yeah!

(Sorry...it's the Mountain Dew talking. I know, I'm living on the edge).

Brian said...
Dec 18, 2006, 9:06:00 PM  

"Another FYI for you in need of a fantasy QB.....Tavaris Jackson is starting for the Vikings this weekend."

T-Jack started out college ball at Arkansas before he transfered to UAB. He has a rocket arm. But, has almost no idea whatsoever where the ball is going when he lets it go. That will be fun to watch.

Jay said...
Dec 18, 2006, 9:07:00 PM  

Worst run defense...ever.

Lord Nero said...
Dec 18, 2006, 9:09:00 PM  

"if he held him any longer he would be married in some culture" and what culture would that be??

Anonymous said...
Dec 18, 2006, 9:10:00 PM  

Ever witness a 14 point TD pass? Me either.

Lord Nero said...
Dec 18, 2006, 9:11:00 PM  

""if he held him any longer he would be married in some culture" and what culture would that be??"

Canada

Jay said...
Dec 18, 2006, 9:11:00 PM  

These guys better start scoring some points or I'm gonna demand my money back.

Brian said...
Dec 18, 2006, 9:14:00 PM  

hey AA is the wind knocking the phont out too???

Anonymous said...
Dec 18, 2006, 9:17:00 PM  

yes ANOTHER commercial

Anonymous said...
Dec 18, 2006, 9:18:00 PM  

rise from the ashes and watch this commercial break...again.

Lord Nero said...
Dec 18, 2006, 9:19:00 PM  

The Knicks are beating the Jazz right now giong into the 4th quarter.

BJ said...
Dec 18, 2006, 9:20:00 PM  

Manning was at the door, with his dad, ky and a bottle of bubbly

Lord Nero said...
Dec 18, 2006, 9:23:00 PM  

The Knicks are beating the Jazz?

Who's playing for Utah tonight? Jerry Sloan?

Brian said...
Dec 18, 2006, 9:29:00 PM  

Early prediction: Wooderson in the booth will be the MNF highlight of the entire season.

Brian said...
Dec 18, 2006, 9:30:00 PM  

I really wish they could figure out a way to squeeze a few more commercials into this broadcast. It's got way too much flow and is impossible to keep up with.

of course, I'm drunk so it could just be me.

Jay said...
Dec 18, 2006, 9:31:00 PM  

HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY IN THE BOOTH AFTER THE BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS MY LIFE'S DREAM!

AA- breath...don't panic I know this is big, but you can make it through this.

BJ said...
Dec 18, 2006, 9:32:00 PM  

Are they showing the same five people in the crowd or is just me.

Lord Nero said...
Dec 18, 2006, 9:33:00 PM  

Did Matthew McConaughey bring his bongos?

Jay said...
Dec 18, 2006, 9:34:00 PM  

I did not understand one word that McConaughey just said except for "Theismann".

Brian said...
Dec 18, 2006, 9:34:00 PM  

Jesus...here comes yet another commercial break

Lord Nero said...
Dec 18, 2006, 9:34:00 PM  

Alright, Alright, Alriigghht...

BJ said...
Dec 18, 2006, 9:35:00 PM  

So they're slobbering all over Freeney and at the same time they put up a graphic showing he has a career low in sacks this season. Good job guys.

Jay said...
Dec 18, 2006, 9:36:00 PM  

Lotta leg slappin in the booth.

Lord Nero said...
Dec 18, 2006, 9:37:00 PM  

I just walked it out. They need to play that song every commerial break.

BJ said...
Dec 18, 2006, 9:39:00 PM  

McConaughey was introduced, then oddly quiet for about five minutes.

In that time, was he:

a) passed out with his head in Mike Tirico's lap;
b) banging a redhead who happened to catch his eye; or
c) playing his bongos

Brian said...
Dec 18, 2006, 9:39:00 PM  

Dude, it was 5 minutes obiously he had enough time to do all three.

BJ said...
Dec 18, 2006, 9:42:00 PM  

You know, during all that time that MM was so quiet we didn't hear from Suzy or Michelle either.

I'm just sayin'...

Jay said...
Dec 18, 2006, 9:42:00 PM  

If they played the Heizman on dat Ho I would paypal you and ESPN $100; after I did the Heizman on dat Ho of course.

BJ said...
Dec 18, 2006, 9:46:00 PM  

Even as great as Matthew McConaughey just was, I still feel cheated, like he could have been better.

If ESPN can't even get it right with Wooderson in the booth, what hope is there for the future of this franchise?

Brian said...
Dec 18, 2006, 9:47:00 PM  

It's a commercial channel with a two minute football break

Lord Nero said...
Dec 18, 2006, 9:52:00 PM  

I think we should replace TK with McConaughey. I know TK is trying to be witty and amusing all the time, but I think as viewers, we would benefit much more from deep philosophical insights such as "keep livin'" all while trying to avoid being the "leak in the bucket" of life.

Joshua said...
Dec 18, 2006, 9:54:00 PM  

Well, well well. Suzy did show up

Lord Nero said...
Dec 18, 2006, 9:57:00 PM  

Mike "your in good hands" Allstot. Berman you make me want to quit life.

Lord Nero said...
Dec 18, 2006, 10:05:00 PM  

AA - I respectfully disagree. Rudi Johnson is on my fantasy team, and must run for approximately 200 more yards in order for me to earn the win this week.

Run, run, run...

Although I DO have Reggie Wayne as well, so Indy should throw the hell out of the ball.

Brian said...
Dec 18, 2006, 10:26:00 PM  

I just walked it out again, did the Heizman on dat Ho and got aroused by Jessica Simpson. I'm done for the night.

Her lip job sucks though

BJ said...
Dec 18, 2006, 10:27:00 PM  

Hey...

How come nobody told me the Colts had never been to the Super Bowl?

How come I didn't know about this?

Thank McConaughey for Tony Kornheiser.

Brian said...
Dec 18, 2006, 10:29:00 PM  

TK, I underestimate your power of reasoning and logical deduction. I knew the Colts were scoring touchdowns, but I had no idea that "Cincinnati is going to have to score more than field goals to catch up." You my friend, are the epitome of everything a color commentator should be. I retract my request to replace you with Mr. McConaughey, because while his looks may be sexy, your commentary is far sexier.

Joshua said...
Dec 18, 2006, 10:36:00 PM  

Miami Heat have given up on getting Iverson.

story here

Jay said...
Dec 18, 2006, 10:40:00 PM  

Quarterback / Coaching tandem winning percentage? Wow. I am speechless at the staggering irrelevance of that statistic.

Joshua said...
Dec 18, 2006, 10:48:00 PM  

*tip of the cap to Reggie Wayne*

I ain't winning this week, but every point helps.

Brian said...
Dec 18, 2006, 10:49:00 PM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
Brian said...
Dec 18, 2006, 10:49:00 PM  

Can we agree that Gilbert Arenas has one of the five best nicknames in all of sports (Hibachi)?

Brian said...
Dec 18, 2006, 11:03:00 PM  

Marv just called someone Dominique Wilkins.

Maybe he had biting a hoor on the back on his mind.

Hollywood Wags said...
Dec 18, 2006, 11:05:00 PM  

Guys, I'm only half paying attention to this game...but did Theismann just correctly call a replay review?

Brian said...
Dec 18, 2006, 11:12:00 PM  

The Knicks won by 1 point in overtime

BJ said...
Dec 18, 2006, 11:15:00 PM  

Right now, Matthew McConaughey is...

A) Admiring himself in a mirror a'la Uncle Jesse
B) Reading the works of Plato
C) Banging a hot chick
D) Drooling over his newly acquired Theismann autographed 8X10

You decide.

Joshua said...
Dec 18, 2006, 11:27:00 PM  

AA - as if there was any doubt, Kornheiser obviously reads this blog. Since you mentioned how quiet he's been, he hasn't stopped talking.

Brian said...
Dec 18, 2006, 11:27:00 PM  

Wherever McConaughey is and whatever/whoever he's doing, two things are without doubt...

He is speaking nearly incoherently about buckets and leaks and taking things one day at a time and high school girls

and

Somehow, it all makes total sense.

Brian said...
Dec 18, 2006, 11:32:00 PM  

"Now you have to throw it in the end zone."

Joe Theismann commenting on Bengal strategy, down 34-16 with 10 seconds remaining in the game.

Joshua said...
Dec 18, 2006, 11:42:00 PM  

Melvin should cockpunch himself everytime Bengals ran the ball when there was less then 4 mins to go.

Lord Nero said...
Dec 18, 2006, 11:43:00 PM  

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